Page 13 of Depraved Desires

As I sat in Rocky’s car, my body trembled with rage and unshed tears. The version of Caroline I’d met earlier today, wasn’t the one I just saw. It wasn’t like I knew her or anything, but her outburst had been unexpected to say the least. My hands curled into fists within my lap as my gaze remained fixated on the window.

What bothered me the most was the fact that not everything she said about me was a lie. I couldn’t even go to school right now, so how the hell was I supposed to better myself? Maybe I was destined for failure. To live in some run-down trailer park with a shitty as guy I didn’t even like.

The heater warmed my skin as hot air escaped from the vents. It felt nice being in a car, driving around. It’s something I haven’t experienced in a very long time—something I didn’t even know I missed.

“You okay?” Rocky asked me from behind the wheel. His jaw was clenched though, as if he was holding onto some frustration himself.

I snorted in response. “How many times are you going to ask me that today?”

Ever since I woke up, people have asked me over and over again if I was okay. My answer wouldn’t change, so they should just get the hell over it. I was grateful to Rocky for saving my life, but it didn’t mean I needed to pour out my feeling like some whiny little bitch. That just wasn’t me.

“Until I believe it.” Was his only response. He tilted his head to look at me, an unreadable emotion etched into his face.

“Whatever,” I murmured. “It isn’t your place. Just cut the shit and stop pretending you care about me.”

The car came to a sudden halt as we reached the front gate. A surprised gasp fluttered from my lips as I was jerked forward in my seat due to the impact. Turning to look at him, my heart raced within my chest. His gaze had changed from the lighthearted, care-free guy I was growing to know, into something dark and cold.

Leaning over in his seat, his eyes remained glued to mine. “Do you honestly think that I would have risked my fucking life to save you if I didn’t give a shit?” he challenged. “Do you think I’d even be here at all?”

“Then why do you?” I whispered. “You barely know me.”

He released a humorless laugh before straightening himself in his seat and putting the vehicle into motion again. “I guess that’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?”

We were both silent as we waited for the gate to open and pulled out onto the road. His words bounced around in my brain as I mulled them over. It was obvious he cared. Even I wasn’t stupid enough to overlook that, but I didn’t know why he did. No one else has ever given a fuck about me, and no one else would have ever put their life on the line for mine. So, why did he?

These were questions I’d probably never get the answers to, so there was no sense in dwelling on them. Instead, I asked, “where are we going?”

“Nowhere specific. You’ve been through a lot today; thought you’d enjoy the drive.”

For the first time in what felt like forever, warmth filled me. And not from the heater. It was weird having someone think of me and what they thought I needed. Even if it was just a friend. Raven and Gia never had the chance, considering where we were, but they always made sure I ate. So that was something.

As fast as the heat consumed me from the inside out, it was immediately iced out when Raven invaded my mind. Her lifeless body would forever be engraved into my mind. The thought that Gia would have to mourn us both by herself also weighed heavily on me. Hopefully Jax would take care of her.

I’ve been abandoned, raped, beaten, assaulted, and nearly killed. Somehow, I was still standing. My best friend died defending me, and the least I could do was keep her from dying in vain. I refused to let depression consume me. I had plans, and they didn’t involve me laying in bed sleeping the days away.

“She was wrong, you know,” he began.

My face twisted in confusion. “What?”

“Caroline. She was wrong about you. You’re none of those things, and neither am I. I saw the look on your face when the words left her mouth. It looked like they hit a nerve.” His gaze flickered to meet mine and I chewed on my lip thoughtfully.

“Was she though?” I asked. “It’s not like I have much going for me right now.”

He blew out a breath of air. “Those are your insecurities talking. You’re so much more than you know, Aspen. Don’t let someone like her contort your perception of yourself.”

She didn’t contort anything. I already thought those things about myself; she just validated my fears. It made it feel morereal when they rolled off her tongue, like other people saw it too or something. Of course, I wasn’t going to tell him that. What was the point anyways?

We rode around for the next hour before Monroe called his phone freaking out. Despite being yelled at, Rocky was calm and made a mockery of the whole thing.

“Yes, I’ll have her back soon, Dad. Bye.” He said into the phone with a smirk. Rolling his eyes, he hung up and placed it in his lap.

“I can’t go back there,” I snapped. There would be way too much tension and drama now that everything was out in the open. I didn’t want to live like that. Plus, Caroline had made it very clear that she didn’t want me there.

A look of pity flashed across his face, which just annoyed me more. I’d be homeless for all I cared. There was no way I was going back there.

“How about this,” he started, glancing over at me again. “We spend a couple of nights in a hotel so that you’ve both had space from one another, and I’ll bring you back Friday evening before dinner.”

To say I was surprised by his offer would be an understatement. It wasn’t like the academy would be missing me, for all they knew, I was dead. There wasn’t a reason for me to say no. There was still no way I was going back there, but at least this gave me a couple days to figure it out.

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