Page 11 of Legions

Sanity or a form of it was clearly important. I could do that for her. It would take work, but I wouldn’t survive another night without her in my bed. Whatever she required me to do, I would do it.

She continued toward me, not even looking up. Her gaze locked on the ground with each step she took. When she crossed her arms over her chest protectively, it took all my willpower not to go wrap her in mine. This was the kind of shit that made it difficult for me not to react in ways she couldn’t accept. Because when she wasn’t fucking smiling, happy, those gray eyes weren’t twinkling, then I became unsettled.

Five more feet and she’d run right into my chest. Her thoughts were deep. She wasn’t aware of anything around her. I was about to clear my throat to keep her from being too startled when her head snapped up, and her eyes met mine. They didn’t widen in fear. They didn’t show anger or frustration. They just looked at me as if seeing me for the first time.

“Morning, little doll,” my voice deep and raspy from the sheer emotion she stirred in me.

She blinked as if coming out of a trance, and her arms tightened around her. “I’m that easy to find,” she said, then blew out a breath.

“For me. I’m sure others would have been thrown off by the grocery store parking lot,” I assured her, my voice teasing in an attempt to get her to soften. Or hell, something.

“How… how long have you been here?” she asked me.

I shrugged. “A while.”

Her face finally gave some kind of reaction. Those eyes flashing at me as if she knew better. “How long?” she repeated.

I took a step toward her. “All night.”

She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and then let it out. “You killed Beauden Redd.”

He’d actually told her. That motherfucker had the balls to tellher. As if I didn’t have enough shit to atone for with her. Clark Jewel had to go and tell her about something he’d been paid well for to keep quiet.

“I did,” I replied.

She opened her eyes and looked at me. “Why? You didn’t know me, did you? I mean, I was a kid. You wouldn’t have been… stalking me.” She said the last words with caution.

Truth. She needed truth. The part of me I didn’t want her to see had been laid bare already.

“I was walking back to my truck. I’d stopped to pick up some things at the pharmacy. I heard a noise. Turned and saw Beauden Redd holding a girl much younger than him against a dumpster. She was fighting against him, and he had her mouth covered, muffling it. It wasn’t my fucking business, yet I stood there watching, not sure if I should stop it or move on. Then you turned your head, and those gray eyes met mine. The terror there was something I recognized. I’d seen that in many sets of eyes. But yours… it hit me like a fucking bolt to my chest. I don’t think I was in control much after that moment. I told him to let you go, I told you to run on home. And you went. I could have left then. It was over.

“Beauden began walking away. I followed him. Not sure why, but unable to stop. Your eyes kept flashing in my head. He stopped at his car. I believe he realized I was behind him because he spun around then. Staring at me. His eyes now held the terror. I wondered then if he could see it. The evil inside me. But it was a fleeting thought because I then reached up and snapped his neck.”

Her arms had loosened, and her breathing was less short and fast as she stared at me.

“It was five years before I sought you out. Went to see you. Maybe I could figure out why I’d done it. What about you that had triggered me that day. You were older. Still fucking tiny butno longer a child.”

“The church parking lot,” she said the words, her voice just above a whisper.

I nodded my head once. “And after that day, I found that the need to check on you, watch over you had taken root. I couldn’t fucking stop it. I wasn’t settled until I saw you. Knew you were okay. That you didn’t need me.”

“You’ve… you did that… you’ve been doing that for almost ten years?” her tone was a mixture of amazement and concern.

“Not exactly. For two years, it was regularly, but my violence only escalated the more I watched you. You had become my sole concern. I forced myself to step back. I stopped checking on you daily, and I weened myself, so to speak. Until it was once every few weeks. I did a quick check on you and made sure you were smiling and happy. Had what you needed, wanted.”

She shook her head as her arms fell to her side. “What do you mean? What I wanted? Cookies?”

I chuckled and had to clench my fists to keep from reaching for her. I needed to touch her so fucking bad. Have her pressed against me. “Sure, the cookies.”

“The house. I wanted somewhere to live, and you supplied Maeme and the house. What else,” she pushed.

“Tim Markson. I sent him to Nashville to watch you in that rodeo. I had seen you in several, and I knew you had the potential to be an excellent jockey.”

Her nostrils flared as she inhaled and let out a small laugh. “I had guessed that already. And Shepard’s Ranch. They offered me a job because of you.”

I nodded.

“Is that it?” she asked. “Because I need to know it all. I told myself I didn’t need to know. That the things you’d done were in the past, and I wanted to just live in bliss. Loving you. Happy. I lied to myself. I need to know the things you have done for me.”

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