Page 67 of A Sinner's Saint

What are the chances of seeing him anyway? It’s a big campus, and we’re not exactly studying the same subjects. I’ve been back in Melbourne for a month and I’ve yet to see him anywhere. Not that I’ve ventured out a lot. If I’m honest, there was that tiny, minuscule part of me that hoped he’d reach out. I have no doubt Dash would have told Vin that we ran into each other.

But it’s been radio silence. Not that it matters. I’m over him. I don’t care, right? That’s what any normal person would say after a year of waiting. And you know what the sad thing about it is? I still lie awake at night and wonder if Vin is sleeping, if the nightmares are still haunting him. Has he found another way to get a peaceful night’s rest? How is he functioning and going on with life without me?

Because I’m struggling. I struggle every damn day.

I might have taken a little extra care in getting ready today, put on that little bit of extra makeup and did my hair up nice. It’s for my benefit, not his, though. I’m probably not going to seehim, but on the off chance that I do, I want to look my best. I don’t want him to see how much he’s broken me. I might love him, but I’m not going to let him break my heart twice. Once was enough.

My phone vibrates in my bag, and I pull it out to see a message from my aunt lighting up the screen.

Aunt Stacey:

Good luck today. Remember you are great. You are amazing!

Her words bring a small smile to my face. I’ve always had a close relationship with my aunt, but it’s gotten stronger over the last year. I leaned on her, and she let me. She’s helped me when I couldn’t help myself. She saw me at my worst. When I couldn’t get out of bed for weeks at a time, when I couldn’t eat or keep food down, it was my aunt who held me in her arms and let me cry every night for months. And let’s just say, if she knew whohewas, she would have hunted Vin down and found a way to hurt him.

I type out a reply, thanking her, and then throw my phone back into my bag. I have five minutes to get to my first lecture. I make it just before the doors are locked, grabbing a seat in the back of the hall as quietly as I can. I do not need to draw attention to myself right now.

“Hey, I’m Scarlett.”

I turn to see a friendly smile on the face of a cute redhead. “Cammi,” I whisper back.

“You look stressed. Don’t be. I’ve heard Professor Carter is easy,” she says.

“Perfect.” I return her smile. The class has nothing to do with my nerves. But I appreciate her concern.

“You’re new,” she says.

“Just transferred from Sydney,” I tell her.

“Oh, fun. Wanna grab coffee after class?”

“Sure,” I agree because, so far, she seems nice. And, honestly, it’d be great to make some new friends. I have Elena still, but she’s studying law, and I’m pretty sure none of her classes are anywhere near mine. Devon went to university in Queensland, and Lauren ditched uni altogether to open her own bookshop. Which is doing really well.

I do my best to listen to the professor’s introduction. By the time the lecture is over, I think I finally manage to focus. I’ve had to teach myself how to compartmentalise. I can’t spend all day thinking about him. So I let my mind drift for little spirts of time each day. Then I think about other things. I’ll pinch my wrist, do anything to distract myself if he creeps into my mind too much. It kind of works.

“When’s your next class?” Scarlett asks.

“Ah…” I pull out my timetable and check the clock on the wall before peering over at her again. “I’ve got an hour.”

“Perfect. Come on. I’ll show you the best coffee shop on campus,” she says.

“Amazing. Thank you. Do you mind if I invite a friend?” I ask, already tugging my phone out of my pocket.

“Not at all.” Scarlett picks up her bag and waits for me as I send Elena a quick message.

Me:

You free? Going to a coffee shop with a new friend.

Elena:

Friend? Female or male? And which coffee shop?

I glance to Scarlett again. “What’s the name of the coffee shop?”

“Japas,” she says.

Me:

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