Page 49 of A Sinner's Saint

Chapter Twenty-Two

Ipacked a bag as soon as I got home. I can’t be here. I cannot go to school every day and see him. I have an aunt in Sydney. I’m going to go and stay with her. Finish out my school year online. I’ve got it planned out. I just need to get my parents on board with the idea.

Which is why I’m now standing in front of them with a fully packed bag and printed-out plane ticket. I might have alreadycalled my aunt, who was thrilled to have me. My mum doesn’t want me to go. But as soon as my dad found out I had my heart broken by a boy, he was all for me getting away for a while. I think his enthusiasm has more to do with putting distance between me andthat boythan it has to do with healing my heart.

I still haven’t given them a name. I don’t want them to have a negative opinion of Vin. He’s not a bad guy. He’s lost and confused right now. But he’s a good person deep down. I know, in his mind, he’s doing what’s right for me. I’m not going to try to convince him that he’s not anymore.

I got the message loud and clear when he walked right past me in the hall and acted like I didn’t exist. It’s going to be easier for both of us if I remove myself from the equation. As effortless as Vin made it look to ignore me, I know it wasn’t. I saw the way his pinkie finger tapped rapidly along his thigh, the way his chest rose and fell quicker than it normally would.

He can pretend like it doesn’t hurt better than I can. Then again, he’s had a lot of years to build a mask of indifference. I’ve never had to look at the person that my body craves and not be able to touch them.

How do you come to terms with the fact that you love the one person responsible for hurting you in the worst way? If I could hate Vin, I still wouldn’t. Because the love I feel for him, the connection we have—despite him trying to cut through it and destroy it—is something I will always treasure.

I get it. I’m probably a sucker for punishment at this point, and some would say I have no sense of self-worth. But they don’t know… They don’t know what it’s like to be loved by him. To be the object of his affections.

When I was with him, it was like I was wrapped in a big fluffy blanket and nothing could ever get to me. I felt more loved than I ever have, more desired. Vin made me feel like I was truly something special, his own personal saint.

It’s the kind of love people spend their entire lives dreaming about finding, and I was lucky enough to find it so young. Now I just have to spend the rest of my time here reminding myself that it is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. At least, that’s what people say. I’m hoping those people are right.

“Are you sure?” my mum asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

“I’m sure. Besides, it will give me a chance to get used to Sydney before uni starts next year,” I tell her, trying to put a positive spin on the whole thing.

“I don’t like it. I was meant to have at least four more months with you,” she says.

“I’m only going an hour and a bit away,” I remind her.

“On a plane, Cammi,an hour and a biton a plane,” she corrects me.

“I’m sorry. I just can’t stay here.” I can feel my bottom lip tremble.

“Okay, whoever this asshole is, Cammi, he doesn’t deserve your tears. And if you give me a name, I’ll tear him a new one,” my dad says.

“Thanks, Dad. Can you give me a ride to the airport instead?” I quickly change the topic because no way in hell am I giving them Vin’s name.

The De Bellis family is notorious around Melbourne, and if my parents knew I was mixed up with them, that I’d witnessed my boyfriend kill someone, they’d have me on a flight to some isolated country with a new identity.

“Sure. Come on, let’s go before I change my mind,” Dad says.

“I’m going to say goodbye here. I won’t be able to not get on that plane with you if I go to the airport.” Mum wraps her arms around me. “Whatever you need, you call me. I promise, it doesn’t feel like it now, but it will get easier,” she whispers.

I want to ask her how she knows that, how someone who is still with their high school sweetheart could know anything about the heartbreak I’m feeling right now. I don’t do that. I know she means well, and she really would do anything for me. Like let me leave home so close to the end of senior year.

“I know. I’m going to be okay. I promise,” I tell her.

The ride to the airport was quiet. My dad kept looking over at me with so many questions in his eyes. I’m thankful he didn’t ask any of them. Now, I’m standing in the airport about to go through security, and he looks like he’s about to burst into tears.

“Thanks for bringing me. I’ll call you when I get to Aunt Stacey’s.” I wrap my arms around my dad.

“I hate seeing you so hurt, Cammi. Let me at least break one of his knees,” he grumbles.

“I’m okay. Promise. I will be at least.” I smile at him. “Go and make sure mum’s not falling apart too much back at the house. I expect she’s baked at least two dozen cookies by now.”

“And probably cupcakes,” Dad adds. “Call as soon as you get there. Love you, Cammi.”

“Love you too, Dad.” I kiss his cheek, then turn and walk towards the line for security.

An hour later, I’m sitting on the plane about to turn my phone onto flight mode. Before I do, I open Vin’s contact and type out a message to him.

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