Page 35 of A Sinner's Saint

“I’m not alone. I’ve got Shelli right here.” Santo points to the wooden box.

“That’s fucking morbid, even for you.”

He pulls himself out of the hole. “I wanted the casket to be empty,” he says, keeping his voice low as we both watch Cammi turn and walk away.

Every fibre of my being wants to chase after her. Explain everything to her. But how the fuck do I explain all of… this? Instead, I let her go and turn my focus back on my brother.

It took almost fifty minutes for Marcel to turn up. And as soon as he did, I made an excuse to leave. I’m shocked when I find Cammi sitting in the passenger seat of my car. I stand still while our eyes connect through the windscreen. I can see so much emotion on her face. I don’t see pity, though. There’s anger and sadness swirling around in her gaze. But no disgust.

I continue to the driver’s side and climb in. Neither of us says a single word. I think ten minutes pass before I can turn and look at her. “I’m sorry you had to see that,” I say, my voice hoarse.

“Vin?”

“Yeah?” I don’t think I want to hear what’s coming. I can’t hear that she’s done with me. I don’t blame her, but I’m not ready to lose her yet either.

“I want you to pick me up, pull me over to your seat, and hold me. I want you to hold me so tight, as if I’m going to float away if you don’t,” she says.

“Why would you want me to touch you?” I ask her, my brows drawn down.

“Because I’m scared. I’m petrified and I need you to hold me.”

“I’m sorry. You really shouldn’t have seen that. My brother… he’s not himself right now.” I try to find words to explain why someone would dig up the body of their dead fiancée. But there’re just no words for that.

“That’s not what I’m afraid of,” she says.

“Then what are you afraid of?” I ask her even when I know the answer.

Me. She’s afraid of me. Fuck.

“I think I’m losing you, and I’m terrified of that happening. I can’t lose you, Vin. I won’t lose you. So, will you please hold me?” Her voice rises in volume with each word that leaves her beautiful mouth.

I reach over, take hold of her hips, and drag her across the car until she’s straddling my lap. My arms wrap around her as tight as they can without hurting her. “You are not losing me. I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere,” I whisper into her hairline.

I feel her body shake. She’s crying. Her arms are closed around my neck and her face is buried in my chest. “If your father wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him myself,” she says through her tears.

“I would never let you anywhere near a demon like my father, babe,” I tell her.

“I’m sorry, Vin. I’m sorry that happened to you. I’m sorry I eavesdropped on a conversation that wasn’t meant for me to hear. I’m just so freaking sorry.”

“I’m sorry I’m not the guy you thought I was,” I counter. “I’m broken beyond repair. I told my brother that I didn’t let my father win, but I lied. He wins every fucking time I close my eyes and I see their faces.”

“You’re not broken, and you don’t need repairing. You are exactly the guy I thought you were. The guy Iknowyou are. You are kind, loyal… and when you love, you love hard. You’re a fighter, a survivor, and you are my anchor.” Cammi lifts her head to meet my glare. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that.”

God made a mistake when he assigned this woman to me. Because no way in fucking high heaven or hell am I deserving of her. I will take her for as long as I can have her, though. After all, it’s not like there’s a return hotline for misdelivered saints.

Chapter Sixteen

Iknew that whatever caused Vin’s nightmares… it was bad. I’d thought up all sorts of possibilities for why he had an aversion to touch, why he was so insistent on getting my verbal consent every time he kissed me. Every time he held my hand.

Despite all the scenarios I conjured up, nothing compared to the truth. A truth I wasn’t supposed to overhear. And now,because I stuck around to listen to a private conversation, I know. I know something I’m not meant to know. Something Vin doesn’t want me to know. He’s ashamed. I can tell. But what happened to him was not his fault. It doesn’t change how I feel for him either. It doesn’t change the fact that he’s perfect to me. I will do whatever I can to help him through this.

I know that being abused for years isn’t something someone justgets over. But we can learn to live with this nightmare together. We can learn to navigate the monsters that taunt him. I will willingly jump into that black hole with Vin. I’ll hold his hand and face-off with them right by his side.

What I won’t do is lose him. I won’t let this affect us. Knowing his truth only strengthens our bond. I meant what I said to him. If his father were still alive, I’d find a way to kill him for what he did to Vin. What kind of man willingly offers his child up to be sexually abused? Tortured?

Vin likes to call me a saint, but I’m not. Right now, I have a thirst for blood… the blood of every single person to ever lay a hand on him. I want vengeance for him. If his brothers don’t make that happen, I’ll figure out a way to do it myself.

I check the time on the little clock on my bedside table. He’s late. It’s almost midnight. He’s always here by now.Where is he?

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