Page 94 of The Horde King of Shadow

“I…I keep thinking about what we fought about at the Tharken cliffs,” I admitted.

“Me too,” he grunted.

“It was wrong of me to suggest that you would seek war with my people,” I told him. “I’m sorry for that. But…they will always bemypeople, Sarkin. I will always think of Dakkar as home. It’s where I was happy once, it’s where I lived with my mother,it’s where Dannik is. It doesn’t mean I won’t eventually think of Karak as my home too.”

His tone was low when he admitted, “It was wrong of me to suggest that you choose.”

“I’ve alreadychosen,” I said, wanting him to understand that. “I won’t ever choose to return to Dakkar. I’mherenow. With you.”

His swirled eyes—all the shades of bright golds, endless greens, and warm browns—flickered, his pupils widening. He was so beautiful that it hurt to look at him sometimes.

I pressed a kiss to his cheek to soften my next words, but they needed to be said. I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if I didn’t say them. “But that doesn’t mean I want to see my own people suffer. And at first, it hurt me to realize that you would use our marriage for your gain.”

His sharp breath whistled, and he reared back to meet my eyes.

“Did you mean that?” I asked, swallowing the fluttering of my heart.

“You’re not just a tool for me to use, Klara. You’re mywife. And I am as bonded to you as I am to Zaridan.”

“But I understand that this began as a kind of…political marriage,” I said. “I’m highly aware that there is a benefit for you, taking me as your wife. Just as I’m aware that I can be an advocate for my own people, to soften your sharp edges toward them.”

Sarkin tilted his head as the words bloomed between us. My hand slid down his wrist, following the ridges of his arm and up his shoulder. I stopped my exploration on his chest, feeling his breath rise and fall beneath my palm.

“Wives have swayed the minds of their husbands for centuries,” I whispered. “It’s an ancient understanding. I’ve been thinking about why I felt so hurt by our fight, and I thinkit’s not so much the knowledge that you might use our union for political benefit but that I’d be kept out of that decision. There’s nothing I hate more than being in the dark. Than being ignored or overlooked or cast aside. And I…I think…”

My cheeks went a little warm. Sarkin’s voice was rumbly when he commanded, “Tell me.”

“I think part of the reason why I chose to go with you was because you were the first person in a long time to actuallysee me,” I confessed, my vision going a little blurry. “To look at me and see someone of value. To look at me like I was a puzzle you needed desperately to solve. I’d been numb for so long. I’d felt alone. Then you appeared out of nowhere with your dusty Elthika-scale hands and your unrelentingethrall. And it was like the flip of a page. A new chapter had begun. And suddenly I was forced to live again.”

Chapter 33

SARKIN

“That’s why I chose this,” Klara said.

Again she was being vulnerable with me. Again I felt this resistance in me to give in.

“I gave you cruelty,” I argued.

And you gave me beauty.

What had I really offered her?

“No,” she said. “True cruelty hinges on your enjoyment of seeing someone suffer. I’ve witnessed that in Dothik, felt it within my own family. You wouldneverwant me to suffer, Sarkin. I know that.”

I blew out a harsh breath, leaning my forehead against hers. “I’ve given you no kindness though.”

“That’s not true either,” she said, her words brushing against my skin. “How could you think that?”

It’s not enough,I thought to myself, feeling my heart thunder in my chest. I closed my eyes. This couldn’t continue.

I made the decision, right then and there, to be better for her. Better forus.

She was soft and understanding. Forgiving.

I was cold and controlled. Unyielding.

I might not ever be the type of male she’d envisioned herself with. But I needed to try to meet her in the middle. Or else we would both be miserable. She might retreat back into herself, just like what she’d done in Dothik. I understood self-preservation better than most. I understood the toll it took.

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