Page 68 of The Horde King of Shadow

We walked the rest of the way in silence as my restlessness grew. When we reached the steps that led up the door, I stilled, and Klara looked back at me with confusion.

“I’ll post a guard out the door tonight,” I told her. But the thought of going inside with her, feeling the heat of her skin next to me on the furs on the ground, the strap around my ankle, surrounded by walls…I couldn’t bear it.

“You’re not coming in?” she asked, her lips frowning. “Sarkin, I’m sorry about?—”

“It’s not that,” I growled. It wasexactlythat. When I caught the flash of hurt on her face, I couldn’t stand it. Frustration andself-loathing cut through me. I’d wanted to move forward with her, but like I feared, there were many wounds that kept her away. “Andpleaseunderstand, Klara…this…this isn’t about us. This isme. And only me. Go. Sleep.”

This was why it had always been easier to be alone.

Now I feared I couldneverbe right for her. That I could never be what she needed me to be.

“And where will you sleep?” she asked.

“I won’t. I’ll see you tomorrow night for another session with Zaridan.”

Then I left, heading toward the spray of the waterfall, trying to get Haden’s face—and Lygath’s roar as my friend had fallen—out of my head.

Chapter 24

KLARA

“Uncoordinated,” came Sarkin’s growl. One of his favorite critiques whenever I launched myself on the back of Zaridan, limbs flailing.

I was dripping in the wet night air. I’d come to learn that depending on the direction of the wind, the nights were either cool and damp or warm and only slightly humid. Tonight it was warm, but the humidity mingled with my exertion until I was constantly wiping my slipping palms on my pants.

“You’re not locking your legs when you land,” he told me when I walked off Zaridan’s wing again, his gaze cool and assessing. His arms were crossed over his chest.

“I’mtrying,” I argued, hunching over, dragging in breath. “I don’t have that much time to make the jump!”

Zaridan was so massive that she temporarily had to tuck her wing that was closest to the cliffside during the drills, using her other to keep herself airborne. Otherwise she’d be too far away for me.

Today Kyavor had pushed us on endurance. We’d run for miles over the terrain, dodging through thick forests and crawling over any boulders we could find, even if they weren’tin our way. It was a good way to get a feel for the surrounding land that rippled away from the village—the Arsadiawasquite beautiful—but I couldn’t appreciate it enough given how out of breath I’d been, on the verge of losing my morning meal.

The archives in Dothik hadn’t exactly afforded me the physical endurance of the average Karag rider. Perhaps if I’d still been living on the wildlands, it would’ve been easier.

I’d been in instruction with Kyavor—and Sarkin—for the last four days.

And Sarkin still hasn’t returned to bed,I couldn’t help but think. I didn’t see him in the mornings or afternoons. He only came to collect me during the evenings.

“You perfected it with Kyavor yesterday, didn’t you?” Sarkin asked, letting me catch my breath. I could feel his eyes on me in the darkness as Zaridan flew away from the cliff briefly, stretching her wings. It was an exercise for her too, to keep herself stationary, just underneath the ledge of the cliff.

I thought back to the river exercises. Even my grumpy little partner, Vyaria, had been begrudgingly impressed when I’d nailed the harness landings three times back-to-back.

“Yes,” I answered, a swell of pride making me straighten. I wiped my arm over my forehead.

“You’re frightened,” Sarkin guessed.

I bit my tongue. He didn’t have to tell me that.

“I see it. The hesitation, right before you jump,” he said. “Every single time. Get it under control, Klara.”

Irritation made my lips press together. “Oh, I had no idea it was so easy. ThankKakkari, I’m cured!”

Sarkin blew out a sharp breath at my sarcasm. “We’re done for the night.”

Even I could see his exhaustion. Hiskya’rassa, his most trusted riders, had been on patrol for days on end. I knew he’dhad a meeting with theKarathof the North yesterday too—it was all anyone could talk about.

“We’ll take a break from mounting,” Sarkin said. Both relief and worry filled me. “Tomorrow we’ll practice commands and control on Elthika-back.”

---