Page 4 of Love Delayed

“Zee,” he said, and I felt him moving in closer.

“Stop, Evan, stop. Please don’t take another step in my direction. Tell me, is this woman carrying your child?” I asked as calmly as I could.

“Zee, please, let’s talk after she leaves,” he pleaded, and I could feel him coming closer.

“Don’t you fucking take another step!” I yelled and reached for the knife on the counter. I knew he had stopped in his tracks. “Is it true?” I commanded.

“I, I, I, I’m not sure, I don’t know, but there is a possibility,” he answered.

“A possibility, Evan, you got me fucked up,” she blasted, getting off her stool. “You better tell yo’ muthafuckin’ wife the truth!” she blasted.

“You know what, Terri, you need to get the fuck up outta my house with this bullshit,” he said, now moving in her direction. They both started going back and forth, arguing, and I stood there watching my husband and his mistress argue.

“Enough, enough, enough. Enough!” I yelled over them. They stopped, and both looked at me. “You, Ms. Terri, thank you for stopping by and telling me the news about your baby. Thank you for bringing me the truth about your affair with my husband. I’d like for you to leave now so Evan and I can talk,” I said, trying my best to keep it together. My world was crumbling by the moment, and I needed her gone, and I needed Evan to find somewhere to be until I could muster up the strength to talk about it.

“This won’t be the last time you see me,” she said and headed for the door.

“I’m sure that it won’t, but do me a favor and stay away from my home,” I spat at her back.

“Yeah, whatever bitch,” she said and made her exit.

“Listen, Zee, baby, we need to,” he said, but I held up a hand.

“Don’t, don’t fuckin say one word to me. You don’t get to say shit right now. I need you to pack a bag, and I will call you when I am ready to talk about this,” I said, trying to walk by him.

“Zee, baby, I am so sorry, and I can’t leave you like this. We need to talk about this.”

“Nooooooooo!” I yelled. I was so hurt and so heartbroken, and I could no longer hold back my tears. “I want to snatch your fuckin’ head off your shoulders right now, Ev, and you need to move the fuck around before I end up in jail for killing your selfish, lying, cheating ass. How could you, Evan? How fuckin’ could you make a baby with another woman? I mean fuck! Evan, fuck! All the infertility treatments that I have gone through, and not only do you have an affair, you make a baby,” I shouted. My face was drenched at that point, and I was yelling louder than I’d ever yelled in my life. It was the baby that had me torn apart more than the damn affair. “Now get the fuck out!” I knew he had to go into our bedroom to get his belongings, so I headed for the basement and slammed the door. I went for the bar that we had set up and I poured a shot of vodka. I threw it back and by the time I had my fourth one, I heard the alarm chime and figured he had left.

I climbed the stairs and was relieved that he had left. I set the alarm and went to clean my kitchen. I wanted so badly to turn back time and not answer my door or even let her in. I dragged myself to the shower, and all I did was cry. It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep after I drank some more vodka.

I spent the next four days alone, and when Evan begged me to come home for more clothes, I let him. After he came out with a larger suitcase, I asked him, “Why? What did I not give you?”

He sighed and let out a deep breath. “It was nothing that you did or didn’t do, Zee. It was my own bad decision, and I am sorry. I love you and I don’t want to be with her. This baby could be mine, I won’t lie, but I want us to get past this,” he said. The tears just began to fall from my eyes. I was humiliated and felt less of a woman and this woman was giving my husband something I was never able to give him.

“I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to move forward with you after this Ev.”

“We can try, I’ll go to counseling or do whatever you say, just please, Zee. I don’t love her.”

I heard him and I don’t know why I agreed to go to counseling, but I did. After the baby was born and it was confirmed that it was his, I tapped out. I thought I could work through it, but I couldn’t. Our thing remained complicated after that for a long time. We were getting a divorce, but still shared the same home and had an occasional rump in the sheets. I was just focused on opening my catering business and Evan had become my plus one. Not everyone knew what we were going through, so we kept it cordial. I no longer hated him, but I had no more love for him.

At times I just wish I had made different choices. If I had never chosen cooking over love. I just may have never gotten my heart broken.

Marcus

The Proposal

“So, are you really going through with this marriage?” I asked my college friend Zack. We were out having drinks and celebrating my other childhood friend Malice’s birthday.

“Yeah, I am. I mean, I can’t let a woman like Shelby slip away. She is the coldest woman I have ever met, and I consider myself the lucky one to have her.”

“Now that’s real love right there?” My other guy, Dre, added, and Zack chuckled, shaking his head lightly.

“Nah, that’s playing it smart,” Zack replied and took his shot.

“No, no, no, ma’fucka explain!” Malice said, taking his position to take a shot.

“Please do, because I’m confused,” I added, and we all chuckled.

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