Page 79 of The Sound of Us

“But I could have helped you,” I protested. “You didn’t have to go through it alone. I could have found doctors, medicine…” My stomach twisted in a knot. “My inheritance. You would have had the best care. You can have the best care. I haven’t finalized the other donations.”

“I’m dying, Dante. Even the best care can’t save me,” Noah said. “There is nothing you can do, and I didn’t want you to bear the burden of trying to stop the unstoppable.”

The room seemed to spin, and the sound of my heartbeat thudded in my ears, loud and fast like a drum as the weight of his words sank in. Noah had been the one constant in my life, the person who believed in me when no one else did. He was my mentor, my friend, the father I’d never had. And now I was going to lose him. Just like I’d lost everyone else.

“How could you keep this from me?” I turned on Skye, finding in her worried face an outlet for my pain. “How could you sit there and talk about trust and authenticity while you were hiding a secret so huge it makes a mockery of everything you said? You know how I feel about Noah. You know I would want to help. You know about my family and how I couldn’t—”

“Dante.” Noah waved away the cup of water Skye was holding to his lips. “It’s not her fault.”

“It was her choice.”

“It wasn’t my choice,” Skye said. “I wanted to tell you. I wanted Noah to tell you. But he wanted me to wait one week until you’d written your test and he’d handled his affairs. I had to respect his wishes. That’s why I stayed away. I couldn’t lie to you so I just… tried not to be around.”

“Fuck the test,” I shouted as I stumbled toward the door. “What about me? How about respecting my wishes? I thought we had something together. I thought you knew me, but you don’t know me at all.”

I heard a grunt, a soft thud. Behind me Skye screamed. “Call an ambulance!”

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE“Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad?” by MobySKYE

With Noah heavily sedated in the hospital, the station in chaos, and my heart in tatters, I fell back into the comfort of my old training pattern—spending at least an hour and a half every day in the gym working out, practicing on the court, and doing drills.

Pushing myself to train at the highest intensity possible meant I didn’t have to think about Noah’s brush with death, my fight with Dante, or even the scholarship that should have gone to someone else. I canceled theMusical Divideand spent only enough time at the station to meet the internship requirements. I hadn’t made any headway with any of my investigations, and I began to wonder if I should turn my focus back to basketball and try out again for the DII team.

Isla tried to cheer me up with romcom nights, pints of ice cream, crazy dances, and long discussions about why she and Nick would never work, even though he’d told her he was willing to take things as slow as she needed to be comfortable. I took an extra shift at the coffee shop and gossiped with Haley about our customers, but too often I found myself looking for a glimpse of a leather jacket, or the swing of a bass.

How could I miss Dante but hate him at the same time? Some days I felt angry at him and other days I was heartbroken andmissed him so badly my chest ached. I’d never cared for any of my previous boyfriends the way I cared about Dante. I’d never experienced the depth of feeling that had inspired so many breakup songs.

“Not another heartbreak playlist,” Isla groaned two weeks after our on-air fight. Dante and I had never talked about a breakup, just as we’d never talked about being official, but I didn’t want to see him, and it was clear he didn’t want to see me.

I turned down the volume on my speaker. “This one isHeartbreak Jazz. It’s different.”

“It’s depressing.” She closed her textbook and tossed it to the far end of the couch. “I can’t take it anymore.Heartbreak Soul,Heartbreak Country,Heartbreak Rock,Heartbreak Beats,Heartbreak Metal. When I asked you to move in, I thought it would be cool to have someone who knew everything about music because you would be able to pull up playlists for any vibe—studying, cooking, parties. It didn’t occur to me that you would also know every breakup song ever written and play them twenty-four-seven while you pine for your lost love.”

“I am not pining,” I huffed. “I’m angry. I told Dante at the frat house that I didn’t like things I didn’t earn myself and then he went behind my back and set up the scholarship and then made sure I’d get it by showing up at the interview to help me and somehow roping in Noah. He didn’t have any faith in me, and worse, he kept the secret even after we caught feelings.”

“You told me you were getting good performance reviews at the radio station,” she countered. “Noah gave you not one, but two different radio shows. He loved your piece on the empty buildings so much he wanted you to put it on the air. That doesn’t sound like he made a mistake.”

“I already told Siobhan that I’m not doing the investigative journalism show,” I told her. “I don’t feel like I deserve to be there, and that slot should go to someone who does. I’ve run out of leads on all my stories, and I’m beginning to question whether journalism really is the right path for me.”

Isla let out an exasperated sigh. “What happened to the Skye who was finally embracing her passion? I think you’re just afraid to face the truth.”

“What truth?”

“The truth that it is easier to fall back on something that is comfortable and familiar than taking that leap into the unknown. Maybe Noah did choose you because of Dante, but it doesn’t mean you won’t be a good journalist. You’ve already proven yourself at the station with the story about the empty buildings. You’re on to something with the basketball team. Your professor was encouraging about your garbage story. I’ve never seen you more excited about anything than when you’re dragging me into back alleys to look into dumpsters or making me drink disgustingly healthy protein shakes so we can spy on hot basketball players. I don’t know why you stopped believing in yourself, but are you really going to throw away your dream because you may have gotten a helping hand? Or are you that afraid of failing? Because this time, the only person who you would disappoint is you.”

Isla had been harsh with me when I had sunk into a depression while healing from my injuries, but never as harsh as she was at that moment.

“You’re afraid, too,” I countered, bristling with indignation. “You’re afraid to be with Nick.”

“You’re afraid because of you,” she said. “I’m afraid because someone made me afraid.” Her voice wavered. “And it wasn’t even me he wanted. After it happened, he touched my hair and jerked back like he was in shock. He shone his phone light in my face and then he swore and said, ‘You’re not her.’ Then he apologized over and over and said he thought I was someone else and he wanted to show her what she was missing.”

My heart leaped into my throat. “Oh God, Iz. Why didn’t you tell the police?”

“I did, but it didn’t make a difference so I didn’t tell anyone else. I was so ashamed that I couldn’t fight him off, and even more ashamed I hadn’t locked the door. I know it sounds crazy…” Hervoice caught, broke. I pushed away all her books and papers and reached over to give her a hug.

“I had blocked it out,” she mumbled into my shoulder. “But then I saw you being so brave after you lost your place on the team. You didn’t give up. You found a new dream and threw yourself into it with all your heart. It made me think maybe I could move forward, too, but this was in the way. Now, you’re afraid again and it makes me so angry because I need you to be strong. I need to see that you can come back from something bad so I know I can do it, too.”

Emotion welled up in my throat and it was a long moment before I could speak again. “You’re the strong one. You’re the one who shook some sense into me and pulled me out of the darkness. I’m here because of you, Iz. And if I could come back, you can, too.”

---