Page 13 of Naughty Secrets

Am I really that naive? I’d been enjoying Aiden’s company, appreciated his compliments, bonded with him over our shared loss, maybe even flirted with the idea that he might find me attractive, but I’d never once considered that he might want to take things further. And I would never have cheated on Sam. When I told him I needed some time away, I didn’t mean that I wanted to be with Aiden. I just wanted to be free of a life that was keeping us both from our dreams.

Two bouncers arrive, and with Chris’s help, they pull Aiden and Sam apart. Blood drips down the side of Sam’s face, and his chest heaves as he glares at Aiden from across the floor.

“My God, Sam.” I grab a napkin and a glass of water and run over to tend his wounds, but when I lift the napkin to his cheek, he slaps my hand away. “Don’t.”

“You’re hurt.”

He gives a bitter laugh and turns away. For a moment I thought something had changed tonight—that Sam showing up here meant he still cared, and that we might finally open up to each other. But nothing has changed. He’s still the same closed off Sam he’s been since Ethan died.

“Sam.” I move to follow him, but Aiden, now free of Chris’s grip, holds me back.

“Let him go.”

“Let him go?” I stare at him aghast. “He thinks I want to leave him for you, and you didn’t help. Why did you tell him you were hitting on me? I might have been out of the dating game for a long time, but I’m a good judge of people, and you’re a good person, a kind and compassionate person. You gave up your evening to comfort me and cheer me up, even though it meant talking about your daughter, which I could tell was painful for you. That’s a lot of effort to go through to get laid, especially for a man who could pretty much have any woman in the bar if he wanted. I don’t know why you said that to him, but we both know it isn’t true.”

Aiden studies me for a few long moments, and then he smiles. “He doesn’t appreciate just how lucky he is. That alone was worth a punch or two.”

Speechless, I leave him with Alexis and race out of the bar to find Sam. I spot him across the parking lot, leaning against a low brick wall with a cigarette in his hand. I haven’t seen him smoking since we left Billings. He quit when we found out as I pregnant, and although I hate the entire idea of smoking, my heart squeezes in my chest when I see him standing there, dramatically attractive and effortlessly cool, the rock star reborn.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m not the one you should be worried about.” He exhales a cloud of smoke into the crisp, night air, as if he hadn’t just beat up a dentist in the bar.

“You’re the only one I care about.”

“But you need some time away from me . . . with Steadman.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” I cup his face between my hands. His jaw is rough with a five o’clock shadow, his eyes dark shadows in the night. “I meant time away alone. Talking to Aiden unlocked something inside me. I haven’t talked to anyone about Ethan. Not you, or my sisters, or even Alexis. It was such a relief to trade stories with someone who had been through the same thing. I feel different tonight. Free. Like the pain has shifted and a burden has been lifted from me. But I’m afraid that if I return to the farm before I process everything, I’ll lose this feeling and my life will go back to being the way it was.”

His face darkens. “You don’t want our life?”

“I need something to change. I can’t do this anymore. We’re together, but not together. Does that make sense? It’s lonelier being with you and feeling like we can’t connect, than if I were truly alone.”

He takes another puff of his cigarette. “Where are planning to go?”

“I was going to ask Alexis if I could stay in her spare room, or maybe go to Billings and stay with one of my old friends.”

“We’ll get a hotel,” he says abruptly.

“That costs money,” I protest. Although the farm does well, we are usually short of cash; most of our money goes back into the farm or is tied up in the land. “You go on home and I’ll talk to Alexis. I’m not leaving you, Sam. I just need some space.”

“If the alternative is spending a night apart, I don’t care what it costs.” He cups my nape and draws me close. “Give me tonight,” he says. “If you still want to leave in the morning, I won’t stand in your way. But at least let me try to give you what you want.”

“It’s not the kind of problem that can be solved in one night.”

“Nat . . .” His voice catches, breaks. “Please, baby. I can’t lose you. I’ve lost everyone. My mother, my dad, Ethan . . . I won’t lose you too.”

I feel an ache in my throat. The last thing I want to do is hurt Sam, and until tonight I had never thought about leaving. How can I turn him down when he’s finally being raw and real and emotionally honest with me? Maybe we won’t solve our problems in one night, but if we could bring them out into the open, we might be able to find a way forward. Together.

“The Manor Inn is down the road.” I swallow hard. “They should have a room free.”

* * *

Half an hour later, we are in the penthouse suite of Revival’s finest hotel—our first ever penthouse, and the first hotel we’ve stayed in since leaving Billings.

“Can you believe this?” I walk through the expansive living area, decorated in a mixture of neoclassical and gothic styles that is both luxurious and stunning. Floral mosaic patterns on the walls contrast with the gorgeous marble features of the predominantly cream-and-black décor. “I feel like I’m in New York.”

“Don’t know how they stay in business,” Sam says as he closes the door. “Who’s going to pay these prices to stay in Revival?”

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