Page 11 of Naughty Secrets

“I’m a fan of tradition.” I glance over at Natalie. She is staring at me rapt, like she’s seeing me for the first time. Maybe, in a way, she is.

I have a sudden, urgent need to get her away from Steadman and his talk of progress. After a childhood of hand-me-downs that she associated with being the unwanted child in the family, she was driven by the desire to blaze her own path—city living, modern new things, exciting experiences, and a man who loved and wanted her above all else.

Working with my dad to build the farm after my mother left us, I developed a love for the land and the simpler living of a rural lifestyle. But I also loved my music, and it was no hardship to pursue that dream by following Natalie to Billings so she could live the big-city life she wanted. It wasn’t easy for her to return to Revival when we found out she was pregnant. With no money and no prospects, we didn’t have a choice. Steadman represents everything she lost. I need to show her that what we have is worth saving—that I’m back, open to new experiences, and I won’t abandon her again.

“Let’s dance.” I stand, and the floor undulates beneath my feet. Five shots of scotch in half an hour and no food are really taking their toll.

“Dance?” Natalie frowns. “You don’t dance anymore. You hate this music, and you can barely stand.”

“I love this music.” I steady myself and clasp her hand, leading her away from the table. “Some songs just bring back bad memories—the ones I played for Ethan.”

“So you locked them all away?”

“I guess I’m an all or nothing kind of guy.” I feel awkward when we reach the dance floor. It’s been a long time and my body isn’t used to the unfamiliar beat.

“Is that what all the drinking is about?” she asks. “Go big or go home?”

I put an arm around her waist to try a different type of dancing, follow the gentle sway of her hips. She leans into me and becomes easy, familiar. Like I’ve finally come home.

“You were drinking with that dude,” I say with a shrug of feigned indifference. “Thought I’d catch up and join the party.”

She lifts an eyebrow. “That dude’s name is Aiden. You don’t seem to like him very much.”

“Don’t know much about him except I didn’t like the way he was looking at you.”

Her eyes widen with surprise. “You’re jealous.” A statement, not a question, and one that is entirely accurate.

“You’re the most beautiful woman in the whole damn bar, and I’m not a sharing kind of man.” I rest my cheek against her hair, breathe in her fragrance of flowers and sunshine. It isn’t just easy now, it’s right. Perfect.

“It was kind of sexy the way you put your arm around me and glared at him across the table.” She laughs, and I realize I haven’t heard that laugh in far too long. “Not very polite and totally uncalled for, but sexy just the same.” Her voice softens. “I didn’t think you noticed me anymore. Or cared.”

“I didn’t think I had to say those things. I thought you knew.”

She stiffens in my arms. “Sometimes it’s just nice to hear them. I can’t always guess what you’re thinking.”

Now it’s my turn to go still. “I thought you knew me, Nat.”

Her mouth opens and closes again, and she leans away, putting a few inches between us. “I do know you, but you’re different. Closed off. We don’t talk like we used to, or do the stuff we used to do.” She gestures vaguely at the dance floor where the people around us are smiling and dancing about. “I never thought we’d dance like this again. Or drink together. Or talk. It’s nice. I almost can’t believe we’re here.”

I can’t believe it either. If someone had told me when I got up this morning that I’d be drunk and dancing at Sticky’s at the end of the day, I would have laughed. The forecast is for rain in the two days, and I have beans and canola to get in before the storm hits. But now that I’m here, with her in my arms, I don’t want to go back to the way it was. I miss this intimacy. I miss my Nat.

“There’salways work to do,” I offer. “You know that. But if this is what you want, you don’t need to hang out with a dude you barely know. After harvest is done and before calving starts, we can—”

“No.” She pulls away.

“No?” I thought things were going good. Clearly I was wrong.

“I want you to want it, Sam. Not just me.”

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