Chapter Six
NATALIE
Shortly after Aiden returns with our drinks, I excuse myself to use the restroom. Alexis follows behind me, and I stop at the mirror after I’m done to touch myself up.
“What are you doing?” she demands when I open my bag.
“Fixing my lipstick.” I only wear makeup on Ethan’s birthday, and on the few nights out I have with Alexis and my friends each month.
“For him.” Her lips press into a thin line. “You’re putting on lipstick for Aiden.”
“For me. I want to look nice. I spend every day in an old shirt and a pair of boots with my hair stuck in a ponytail and dirt under my nails. I don’t get to dress up often, and although this was for Ethan’s birthday, it feels good to be out looking normal instead of like something the cat dragged in.”
“You never look like something the cat dragged in.” She sighs and opens her purse. “That’s the problem. You’re beautiful, and Sam doesn’t see it. But Aiden does, and he sees something else.”
My hand shakes ever so slightly, smearing the lipstick at the corner of my mouth as guilt surges inside me. Although I am flattered by his attention, I’m not interested in Aiden. I want Sam taking me for a drink on Ethan’s birthday. Sam sharing his feelings about losing a child. Sam’s gaze on my ass as I walk away from the table. Sam winking at me in the mirror on the wall.
“What does Aiden see?” I ask.
“He sees that Sam takes you for granted. That you’re lost and lonely. It’s like a siren song for a guy like him. He’s got that protective thing happening. He wants to fix you, heal you, care for you, protect you from what’s making you sad, and right now that’s your husband, who needs a good old-fashioned kick in the pants.”
“I’m not after Aiden. I told you that.” I dab at the smudge of lipstick. “I like him, and I like how he makes me feel. He’s easy to talk to and not afraid to share his feelings. And, of course, he’s gorgeous, smart, and funny, and he’s got that whole alpha thing going on, but he’s not Sam. It’s complicated.”
“It’s not complicated at all.” She sucks in her lips to smooth out her lipstick. “Sam needs to wake up and smell the damn coffee. His head has been stuck in his barley field for so long he’s forgotten you exist.” A sly smile spreads across her face. “I’ll bet he wouldn’t be too happy to see you with Aiden. Maybe he’d get all jealous and fight for you like he did when Rex Morgan tried to kiss you after the senior dance.”
“He was seventeen, and our relationship was still new when that happened.” My heart warms at the memory of Sam punching his band mate, Rex, after the frontman pulled me into a hallway and kissed me between sets.
Although I’d hung out all the time with the band, I’d barely spoken to Rex and had no idea he’d been crushing on me. Sam went crazy when he saw us. He floored Rex with a punch and then beat on him until the rest of the band pulled him away. I’d always abhorred violence, but there was something utterly thrilling about seeing the boy I loved fighting for me.
Until then, I’d never thought of Sam as anything but a musician and a poet, but seeing his muscles ripple, the strength of his body, the power in those strong hands . . . it was too much. I took him to the swinging bridge that night, stripped off my clothes, and sealed our fate forever.
“He would never do anything like that now,” I continue. “Not that there’s any chance of it happening. He doesn’t know where I am, and he never comes to Sticky’s. He won’t even be worried about me, just annoyed that I didn’t leave any dinner. I’ll bet he’s sitting at the table right now, reading the paper, listening to country music on the radio, and waiting for me to show up to give him his meal.”
“You never know,” she says. “Our circumstances might change, but inside we are who we are. Sam was a protective, possessive sort right from the start. He might have lost his way since Ethan passed, but that part of him is still there.”
“I don’t really think—“
“You just don’t see it.” Alexis cuts me off with a wave of her hand. “I heard he punched a couple of his men because they said something about you he didn’t like. When I went out with that guy from the auto body shop, he said Sam brings in your truck once a month for a safety check. And the raspberries you were telling me about the other day . . . there’s only one place to pick them, and it’s on the other side of town.”
“Why didn’t I know?” I tuck my lipstick away, frowning at Alexis in the mirror.
“You didn’t want to know. You’ve been living in your own world for so long the little things have stopped mattering.” She pulls open the door. “Lucky for you, I’m tired of watching you two pussyfoot around each other. You had something beautiful, and now you’re both stuck in your own little bubbles of pain. I would kill to have what you and Sam had together. But you’re going to lose it if you don’t shake things up.”
I stare at her aghast. “What have you done?”
Alexis looks back over her shoulder, her dark eyes sparkling. “Something I should have done a long time ago. I did some shaking.”