Page 20 of Naughty Desires

Chapter Seven

Lily

Rex is a bore.

Correction. After sitting here listening to him talk about himself for over two hours, I can definitively say he’s an insufferably arrogant bore. I wish I’d known that back in high school and I wouldn’t have wasted all those hours fantasizing about him, doodling his name, and choosing the names of the five children we were going to have after our wedding.

Alexis, of course, doesn’t care what comes out of Rex’s mouth. She’s only interested in what he’s got going on beneath his skintight rust-colored jeans. In an Oscar-worthy performance, she simpers and giggles as he tells us how the band would be nothing without him and how the world’s biggest labels are fighting to sign him as a solo artist.

Even if Rex threw himself at my feet right now and begged me to spend the night with him, I would turn him down. His long, elegant fingers, pale face, trendy clothing, and starving-artist frame do nothing for me. I like calluses and muscles, bronzed skin and work boots. I like big hearts and strong arms. And God help me, I like wounded souls, because only someone with a family as messed up as mine can understand me.

“Excuse me.” A woman in a leather jacket touches my arm. “Are you Lily?”

“Yes.”

“This is for you.” She hands me a white lily, the petals just starting to open. “It’s for January,” she says before she walks away.

“Wait.” I move to follow her, but someone taps me on the shoulder.

“This is for February.” A man in a Giants sweatshirt hands me another lily.

“Who is this from?”

He shrugs. “Can’t say.”

Rex frowns at the flowers. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know.” But maybe I do.

“Here comes another one.” Alexis points over my shoulder. “And there’s someone else behind her.”

I receive twelve lilies, one for each month of the year. Rex becomes increasingly irritated by the lack of attention and excuses himself to get a drink.

“Are they from Chris?” Alexis asks.

“I don’t know anyone else who would give me flowers.”

A slow smile spreads across her face. “I guess this means you won’t be needing my spare room tonight.”

I cradle the flowers in my arms. “It’s a beautiful gesture, but it doesn’t change anything. His dumb male ego is still in the way. Until he can accept himself for who he is, we can’t have a future together, and I’m tired of trying.”

“Did you try?”

Puzzled, I frown. “What do you mean?”

“Did you ever have a conversation with him about what was going on? Did you ask him why he wouldn’t touch you anymore? Or where he saw your marriage going?”

Emotion wells up in my throat. “I didn’t want to know why he didn’t want me. I didn’t want to be rejected all over again. It was easier to say nothing and hope he would get over it.”

“You walked away,” Alexis says. “Just like you did tonight.”

“I didn’t walk away. I stayed with him.”

“Emotionally, you both walked away from your problems.” She points to the lilies in my hand. “But tonight he’s trying to come back. Don’t give up on him yet.”

I don’t understand Alexis. She’s spent the last six months telling me to leave Chris, and now, when I’ve finally taken the first step, she wants me to go back. I don’t want to go back. It was easier being numb than feeling a momentary burst of happiness only to have it brutally ripped away.

“Why are you suddenly on his side?” My voice rises in pitch. “You’re the one who suggested I come out and have a drink with you and Rex. You’re the one who kept telling me to walk away.”

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