Page 83 of Succeeding Love

“Like that would have stopped you…”

How fucking dare he.

I thought it was bad enough that he was ignoring me and choosing to end things the way he did. I thought this was a minor tiff. Something that would blow over once he got over whatever caused him to become the malcontent ass he was being.

He left his wife for me. I didn’t tell him to. He did that on his own. To think he has been holding such odious thoughts towards me because of the actionhe chosetook me by surprise.

No one held a gun to his head and told him to cheat on his wife. I didn’t have to do much at all. His discontent in that life drew him to me, not any effort I made. To think he was now holding me in such contempt for his own misdeeds….

It disgusts me.

I almost got my hopes up for a second, too. When he got all crazed in the eyes and demanded to know how I knew that barbaric man in the courtroom, I mistook it for jealousy. I thought he was finally coming around and just needed an extra push.

Yes, the giant gentleman that intervened in the chaos would normally be any woman’s wet dream, but I held no genuine interest in the man. He may be fun from atoss around in bed,as our client said, but my interest was still set on Nick.

That was until he made that comment.

I’ve been getting more and more frustrated with each passing day, refusing to be the joke of the office because of that fickle man. I loved him. I truly did, but that man I fell for was a decisive, tenacious man that knew what he wanted in life, and wasn’t afraid to take it. He once seemed so unyielding and strong.

Now, I can finally see that I was projecting my desire onto him. I saw what I wanted to see. The person I thought he was is far from the man who sat in that courtroom with me today.

I thought I had found a family in him. Not just him, but his daughter. Jessie was the loveliest child I had ever met, and I thought that reflected her adoring father. Maybe it wasn’t his influence, but her other parent that made her the sweet and sensitive girl she was. I definitely do not see any of those traits in Nicholas.

I was done. As much as I wanted a family and someone to chase the loneliness away with, I was losing myself in my attempts to secure a man that was truly not worth my time.

Walking into my apartment, I dropped my keys and bag on my table and fished out the printed email I had been holding on to for the last few days.

A friend from college was opening her own firm in Chicago. She heard of my divorce and reached out to me a few months ago, but back then, I was with Nick, still dreaming of a future together.

I now realize that the future I imagined will never come to be.

My eyes scanned over the offer of partnership from my friend, and my heart clenched with fear and excitement of a new future I could face head on soon.

Then, my heart sank thinking about one person I wasn’t truly ready to run away from just yet.

Jessie.

I really love that girl. Truly and fully. I know now seeing her again might be impossible through Nick. I don’t want to lower myself to ask him for that closure.

There was one other person I could ask.

A knot formed in my stomach at the thought of asking Feighlynn for this favor after the part I played in the end of her marriage. But also, there was this small part of me that was hopeful she would be gracious like she had always been in every other aspect pertaining to my relationship with her ex.

Jessie had to have gotten her golden personality from someone. Feighlynn might just give my undeserving self a chance to tell her daughter goodbye.

~

Feighlynn

One Month Later…

“Look at you, all smiling and happy,” my sister smirked, tossing a peel from the orange she was eating at me. “Makes me want to vomit.”

I huffed, tossing the peel back at her face. I tried to act sour, but the smile just wouldn’t leave me. “Vomit at your house, then. Quit raining on my parade.”

“I’ll vomit on your parade,” she laughed. “Even after a month, you’re still all squeals and giggles, you freak. It should be illegal to be as happy as you.”

“That’s rude,” I scoffed.

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