Page 42 of Succeeding Love

I was such a complete moron. That woman stuck with me when I could only offer her thrift store cups and silverware. Most women wouldn’t do that. I can’t think of a single other woman that would go through the struggles we went throughtogether with a smile on their face and the same positive, bright personality that she always had.

Going through all these old boxes will be excruciatingly hard. All the memories that come with them are weighing on me like a ton of bricks. The guilt of my bad choices keeps hitting me in fresh waves.

Most of these boxes from storage were things Feighlynn boxed up to get rid of during the divorce. I took them when I took our old bedroom furniture and all the furniture from my office. She didn’t want to keep anything with any memories of me. That realization is the heaviest weight of them all.

“Pizza’s here!” Jessie skipped out of her bedroom when the doorman buzzed.

With a pizza box in hand, and a bag of drinks and cheesecake on my arm, I looked at the new dining room table in dismay. The new dining room table was cluttered with small moving boxes full of books that I needed to go through and organize.

“Let’s just have a picnic, daddy!” Jessie called, pushing boxes out of the way to clear up a large space in the living room.

That’s what we did. Jessie brightened up my mood with her little laughter and smiles as we sat on the floor and ate pizza right out of the box. She was telling me about her upcoming dance recital and about the upcoming trip to Disneyland with her team. Her mother was going to be the one to take her to that, but I’m wondering if she would mind if I tagged along. Originally, I was going to stay back to work, but I know I can get the time off if I ask. Preston might not like it, but I don’t want to miss my daughter’s parade appearance, or the chance to feel like a family again.

“Oh, and did mom ask you about tomorrow yet?”

I looked at my daughter in confusion until she continued on.

“About Preston’s tournament in San Antonio! Mom said she was going to ask you to drive her.”

“Me?!” I gaped. “Your mom wants me to drive her to San Antonio tomorrow?” This is the first I am hearing about any of this. Fay hasn’t talked to me at all this week. Not about anything but the kids.

“Yeah. Did Preston say no? I know you two are fighting a lot, but even he said he didn’t want Mom driving herself. You know how mom is. She’ll see a squirrel and turn the car off the road while saying how cute it is.”

I cringed, knowing full well what Jessie meant. It is not safe to keep Feighlynn, who has too much energy, cooped up in a car for so long. “Preston didn’t tell me about any tournament,” I said solemnly. “What’s it for?”

“It’s for seniors on the varsity team, but there was an injury, so they moved Pres up. He is going with the team today and mom was supposed to leave in the morning to watch.”

“I have heard nothing about it,” I mumbled. I didn’t want to spoil her mood, but I was feeling left out and deeply saddened that my son didn’t tell me about something so important himself. He just texted me he had something come up and was spending the weekend with his friends. Nothing else.

Jessie lifted one shoulder in a half shrug, getting another slice of pizza. “Maybe mom was planning on telling you tonight. She looked excited about it.”

“Are you sure you’re not mistaken?” I really have no recollection about anything this could pertain to. I didn’t have plans to meet Fay tonight.

Unless…. No. She wouldn’t have changed her mind about the condo, even though she knows I was moving into it today. I invited her, but she turned me down.

“No!” Jessie said with her mouth full. She swallowed and continued. “I even told mom I was happy for her. She didn’t deny it. When I suggested you drive her tomorrow, she even smiled and said, maybe.”

Hope bloomed in my chest. If Jessie asked her mother directly, then maybe there was still a chance for me. Fay isn’t one to put on airs, and she sure as hell wouldn’t lie to our daughter or mess with her feelings. She can get shy in matters such as these, and she hates asking for favors. Maybe…. Just maybe…..

“Preston was okay with me driving her?”

“I don’t know if he was okay with it being you, but he agreed she should ask someone else to drive. He even told her to get a hotel room and stay for the night.”

“Really?” I dropped the pizza back in the box, my mind reeling with this revelation. “Should…. Should I call her and askher, since she mentioned nothing to me?”

“I would,” Jessie giggled. “No, no!” She waved her hands around frantically. “You should go ask her in person! Didn’t you want to see her tonight too?”

“I am always eager to see your mother,” I said honestly.

“Then go!”

“Well, what about you? It’s our first night in the new place.”

She waved her hand at me. It was another gesture like her mother’s that brought a smile to my face. “I can stay home by myself, dad. I got a pizza, cheesecake, and a room to set up. I’ll be fine.”

The building had security and a doorman. She’s older than Preston was when we started letting him stay home alone. “You won’t leave the apartment?”

“Nope! I’ll be waiting right here for the good news when you get back.”

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