Page 123 of Succeeding Love

This feeling I had spread through me as I raced to see the man I love made all that fade away.

I felt like I had won. Life through everything it could at us, but this felt like the trial before gaining the greatest gift one could imagine. This felt like we were succeeding in love.

Coming Home

Vin

“He’s a hyper thing, isn’t he?” Mom asked with a laugh as Kevin ran to get the ball she was throwing once again. “So full of energy.”

Mom came alive when I brought Lynn’s dog back to the house with me. She was anxious all afternoon, doing nothing but worrying about Lynn and me. One minute with the dog and she was all laughter and cheer.

Mom spent so much time trying to get every perfect flower from her garden in a giant vase for Lynn, that she didn’t have a moment to calm herself down. She kept rearranging and adding more to the overflowing vase until I had to ask her to not add any more. Mom just wanted to help in the only way she knew she wouldn’t mess up. I love my mom for that.

Mom mopped around, watching out the window with a sad expression. That is until she saw me coming up the driveway with a dog in tow. Kevin sure licked and cuddled the sadness right out of her.

When I went to drop the flowers off on Lynn’s front porch, Kevin was in the window pacing the way he does when he hasn’t been outside for a while. I fought with myself right there on Lynn’s porch steps before I decided breaking in to take her dog for a walk wouldn’t be the worst thing I’ve done.

I let myself in, got Kevin on a leash, then took him around the block like Lynn and I always did about this time. As I was leaning against a tree, waiting for him to get done with his business, I thought over the card I had left in the flowers. The very desperate card, full of all the things I had rehearsed in my head a hundred times today.

It didn’t seem desperate enough. I don’t know if a single card could convey how much I needed her right now. How much I missed her! How fucking miserable I was having not told her how sorry I was for every single fuck up that happened.

Seeing her face was the only way I was going to get this knot out of my chest and breathe easier. She was the only one that I needed, and I wasn’t sure if a single note could get her to come to me.

I was staring down at Kevin as all these thoughts went rampant in my head, and that was when the idea of stealing her dog came to mind.

She has to come get her dog. She might ignore me all day and be too pissed to see in that single damn card how much I needed her…. But she had to at least face me to get Kevin.

I’ve been pacing in the kitchen, chewing on my nail beds, going from watching my mom play with the dog to staring at the house across the street. I knew she was at her ex’s place, and I almost went to go get her, but I knew it would just make things more tense if I did. All I could do was wait.

CRASH

I jumped, wincing when the ear-splitting sound of glass shattering rang out from the living room. Mom had thrown the ball and hit her glass china cabinet in the room's corner. Thewhole left glass-face door went crumpling to the carpet in a shattering rain.

“Oh, shoot,” Mom got up from her chair.

“I got it, mom. You don’t have shoes on. How about letting the dog outside instead?”

“Goodness.” She patted her chest. “Is his ball okay?”

I chuckled, picking it up from the carnage. “It’s fine.”

“Good,” she exhaled, then took the rubber ball from me. After inspecting it herself to be sure it was safe, she called the dog to follow her outside. “Come on, puppy. I’ll throw it for you out here.”

She was more worried about the cheap rubber ball than her china cabinet, full of Precious Moments figures. She never acted like she liked Kevin before, but maybe in her own home it was different, since this was her safe place, even at the times she was in her confused state. Maybe I should look into getting her a dog to keep her company during the day while I’m at work.

It took me longer than I would have liked to clean up the mess. Mom stayed outside with Kevin, to my relief. I was worried she was going to come right back in and try to help. I could hear her laughing and yelling good boy through the back window.

As I took dustbin after dustbin of broken glass to the trash, I would look out the window in the kitchen for some sign that Lynn had returned. On the fifth trip, she still wasn’t back. With a heavy sigh, I got the vacuum to suck up all the little pieces of glass my fingers couldn’t get from the fibers of the carpet.

I had to go over the fucking area for a long ass time. The loud droning of the ancient machine drowned out all othernoises, so I didn’t realize the doorbell was ringing. Not until whoever it was started ringing the bell and frantically banging on the door at the same time.

My heart raced. I knew… I just knew by the sharp, hurried knocking it was her little fist abusing my front door.

Was she mad? I mean, I fucking stole her dog to get her to see me. It sounded like a solid plan at the time, but now I was second guessing myself.

After swallowing down the giant knot stuck in the center of my throat, I set the vacuum off to the side and moved to the front door. I could still hear mom out back with Kevin, but I heard nothing from the front porch.

I didn’t know what to expect.

---