Page 119 of Succeeding Love

“I know, mom,” I held her tighter, kissing the top of her head. “Lynn will understand. It’s going to be okay.”

I hoped Lynn would understand.

What I Would Change

“But mom, he’s….. Yeah?.... Are you sure you don’t-.... Okay, mom. Bye.”

I was fidgeting on the barstool where I sat and stared at Preston as he spoke to his mom. I tried to call her twice with no luck, but she answered for her son with no issues.

That made me feel more like shit than I already did, but I still sat quietly and waited for him to get off the phone.

Preston sighed as he dropped his phone on the counter. His lips were in a tight line when he looked back at me.

“Sorry, bro. She didn’t want to talk about you.”

My face fell in my hands. My fingers roughly circled the tension in my forehead. “Yeah. I figured as much.”

Preston was quiet, silently standing across from me in the kitchen as I felt like I’m coming apart.

“One day,” I muttered. “All it took was one day for every damn thing to fall apart.”

“That’s because you both have crappy exes,” Preston scoffed.

I laughed humorlessly. “Yeah. You’re not wrong.”

Preston manhandled the dish towel laying across the sink, twisting the fibers between his fingers. “Um, so mom wantsme to head over there,” he said carefully. “Uh, I guess my grandma finally showed up and was being a jerk about it being dad’s weekend.”

I nodded, getting the hint. “Yeah. You should go then. Your mom needs no more shit today.”

Preston looked around the kitchen, his eyes settling on the fridge. “I’ll tell my mom about the food. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it.”

I smiled weakly. “Thanks. If she… If she needs anything else….” I hesitated, wondering if it was still my place to offer her or them anything still. I sighed, then just said it. “Let me know.”

After pushing in my stool and picking up my keys from the counter, I headed for the garage door. I still needed to move my car over to my house, since it was obvious I wouldn’t be seeing Lynn today after all.

As I was moving the car, all I could think about was all the things I wish I could go back and change to make this weekend different. Even if I just said no to Milton. I’d be in bed, Lynn lying on top of me right now for a nap, or floating in the pool while she giggled and shot at me with the water guns.

If I had just kept my cool and helped Lynn instead of trying to deck the asshole, we would have gone home together. She might still have had to take the kids, but we had already talked about living together. We could have had a talk already about what that would be like, and I could have spent the day getting closer to them.

I sat in my car far longer than I intended as I thought over everything. It wasn’t until mom poked her head outside to give me a worried look that I finally turned my car off and went inside.

She was lucid. Really lucid. She was fully aware of what was going on and what she had done, and it was worrying her sick. I thought I had reassured her enough earlier. She had calmed down and retreated to her room to take a nap. It must have been a quick nap, if she even had one.

“Hey, mom,” I kissed her head, smiling gently as I slid past her into the house. “You had a fast nap.”

“I.. I couldn’t sleep. Kevin… Did you talk with her?”

I tried to keep a smile on my face, but I knew I did a piss-poor job when she gasped and put her hand to her mouth.

“Oh, Kevin,” her eyes got glossy again. “I’m so sorry. Is.. is she home? I can talk to her and-”

“It’s alright, mom,” I took her hands and led her to her chair. “She’s just busy doing stuff for the kids right now. I’ll have time to talk to her when she’s done.”

“Are you sure?”

No, but I would not worry my mom more.

“I’m sure.” I kissed the top of her head again before handing her the remote. “Your show’s about to be on. See if you can rest down here, then when it’s over, mind making me that bouquet you talked about?” The flowers were the one thing Preston didn’t take inside. They were wilted and pathetic looking from the heat of the car by the time I noticed them again.

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