Page 13 of Merry with Me

“She can eat some of mine. You got scissors, right? Marisa cuts up her food with scissors, and it’s so much easier. My wife is a genius.”

I laugh. Brad is one of the lucky ones. He found a woman who loves him and only him. He has two kids, the wife, and even though he doesn’t have a white picket fence around his place, he should. They’re that picture perfect.

“I’m on it.”

“See you soon.”

The call ends, and I sift through the takeout menus until I find the one for Pizza Town and place the order. I add on an order of breadsticks, thinking maybe that might work better for Carrie.

I eye my house, and it’s tidy enough. That’s not hard to do when you live on your own. I finish off my beer, but instead of grabbing another, I pull out a bottle of water from the fridge and settle on the couch, waiting for my company and my dinner to arrive.

“Um, um, um,” Carrie says after each bite of her breadstick that she’s messily dipping into pizza sauce.

“Is that good?” I ask her.

“Um!” she cheers, which has Brad and me both laughing.

“You’re good with kids. You need a couple,” Brad tells me.

“Correction. I’m good with your kids, and you know that ship has long since set sail, my friend.”

“Come on, Oliver, you can’t let her take your life from you.”

“She didn’t. I’m in a career that I love. I have a best friend who has two adorable kids I can play with and spoil and then send home. I’m living the dream,” I tell him, popping the final bite of my slice of pizza into my mouth.

“Marisa has some single friends.”

“Nope.” I shake my head. “Not going there, man.”

“You know my wife is tenacious, right?” He grins.

“Yeah, but she’s not my wife, so I can freeze her out until she gives up.”

He groans. “You know I’ll get her whining from that.”

I shrug. “Then tell her to let it be. My life is good, Brad. I’m not unhappy.”

“Riiiight,” he says with a laugh, dragging out the word. “You’re grumpy as f—fudge and you know it. You have this anger inside you that you can’t let go of. It’s only going to get worse.”

“Carrie, tell your daddy he’s wrong,” I say to the adorable little girl. She grins and smacks her hands on the tray of the portable high chair her dad brought with them.

“Just because I’m not interested in dating, or happily ever after, doesn’t mean I’m grumpy. Do I like things a certain way?Yes, I do. There is nothing wrong with that. Lives are literally in my hands every day.”

“I mean, you’re an orthopedic physician, not a brain surgeon,” he jokes. “Man, I just know what you’re missing out on, and I hate that for you. I want you to have this.” He nods toward his daughter.

I understand what he’s saying, and there was a time in my life, a very specific time, just as I was mere months from wrapping up my residency, when his life was exactly what I saw for myself. Unfortunately, we don’t always get what we want, and the heartache that comes with the chance just isn’t worth it to me.

“Carrie, your daddy thinks he’s a comedian.” I make a funny face, and her giggles fill the room. “You have the perfect family, Brad. That’s just not in the cards for me. Not anymore.” There must be something in my tone that tells him I’m at the end of my rope talking about this because he lets it drop.

Brad and I met in college. We were roommates our freshman year, and we’ve been inseparable ever since. He was there for me when my life got turned upside down. Sure, he knows why I won’t ever have a family of my own. He means well, but it’s just not going to happen for me.

After college, Brad moved to Willow River for a teaching position. He’s originally from Atlanta, so he’s still close enough he can visit his family within an hour’s drive. He and Marisa are both teachers. They actually went to high school together but didn’t start dating until we were in college. I’m not gonna lie. I am envious of what they have. They’re living the life that I thought I was going to live until my world was tipped upside down.

“How’s the team?” I ask, making sure the subject is officially dropped.

“Good. We’re undefeated so far this season. I have a great group of kids. Five seniors who will be leaving after this season, but there are some sophomores that are doing well on the junior varsity team. I think we’ll be just fine.”

“You still have some juniors that are sticking around for next year too, right?”

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