Page 18 of A Trial of the Heart

Something sharp poked me in the leg, and I reached into my pocket to find the hairpin the merchant had given me earlier that day. I closed my hand tightly around the flower before kissing the silver and orange petals.

More silent tears fell, but I stubbornly ignored the comfort I knew was still waiting on the other side of my door. Utterly exhausted, I laid the pin next to me on the bed, praying that it would give me serenity and allow me to forget mynightmares.

Chapter Five

That night, I didn’t wake to the sounds of my screams as they tore through the peaceful silence of Adohan and Idris’s home.

My back bowed and arched as I thrashed in my night terror, feeling the sting of Blade’s whip tearing through my flesh again and again. The blood from my wounds caused my feet to slip out from under me, hanging lifelessly from my iron-bound chains. The pain was not the worst of it. It was the image of his cruel, self-satisfied grin of amusement as he circled my limp, lifeless body. It was the sound of his rapid breathing as he relentlessly tore into my back. The merciless smile of delight that was seared into my memories. I screamed until my voice was raw. I screamed for someone, anyone, to find me so I wouldn’t die in this prison consumed by darkness.

“Spitfire!” Daxton’s voice drifted into my nightmare, pulling me out of the abyss and isolation that was tearing me apart from the inside out. “Wake up. It isn’t real. Wake up, Skylar. Please!” he begged.

I had never heard him plead like this before… like my pain was somehow also his. I felt his hands pressed firmly on my shoulders as my eyes fluttered open, trying to focus on the reality of the world around me. “You’renotalone,” he said in a commanding voice that was impossible to ignore. “You willneverbe alone like that again. I promise, Skylar. It was just a nightmare.”

My stomach churned as I looked over to the bedside, trying to find anything to catch the bile that was rapidly rising in my throat. Daxton anticipated this and handed me the waste bin before I ruined the sheets. I knelt on the bed, hurling my guts out, trying to breathe while Daxton remained at my side, quietly holding my hair back—not uttering a sound.

“I-I was… I was there, Daxton.” I wept as another wave of nausea took over. “His whip… The cell. It all seemed so real,” I cried out uncontrollably. “Seamus. That bastard tore through my memories and found them. He… He made me relive every gruesome detail, Dax.” I openly sobbed, lacking the strength to hold anything back.

Every muscle in Daxton’s body seemed to stiffen, and I swore he was shaking almost as badly as I was. He clenched his fists and moved to fetch me a glass of water. I tilted my head back, quickly draining the contents before dropping the cup to the floor as the backs of my eyes stung.

Daxton immediately wrapped his arms around my shoulders, tightly cradling me against his chest. Allowing my walls to crumble, I melted into his embrace. I should’ve fought against this, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn away. I felt safe in his arms, like nothing and no one in the world could dare harm me.

“You’re stronger than this, Skylar,” he said. “Please, let me help. You’re not alone—Remember this.” His hand rubbed my back in small concentric circles. “I don’t care how many times I have to keep telling you. I’ll gladly keep doing it until you startbelieving it yourself.” Daxton moved his hand to stroke my hair, helping calm my sobs and steady my emotions.

I could feel the presence of my animal stirring inside me, reminding me of the same thing. Shaking my head, I moved in his lap and pushed back to look at him.

“How canIdo this, Daxton?” I sniffled with rasps scarring my voice. “How can I possibly be the one champion that can defeat the trials if I’m this… weak?”

I had never doubted myself like this before, but my encounter with Seamus left me feeling helpless, causing my turmoil of guilt to continue to spiral out of control.

Daxton adjusted me so I was sitting between his legs and held my face firmly between his hands. I reached up to clutch onto him, trying to feel grounded in anything I could find. His hold on me sent a warm sensation through the cold limbs of my quivering body. It was the same feeling my animal gave me whenever I felt scared or lost, calming my trepidations and granting me a moment of serenity so I could find my way through the darkness.

“This willnotbreak you, Skylar Cathal. It didn’t before, and it won’t now.” He sounded so confident. His expression was unwavering as he spoke to me, without any trace of fear or uncertainty.

“How can you be so sure?”

I turned my gaze away, unable to look him in the eyes. I was so scared and not just of the nightmares. I was terrified of opening myself up to someone, of opening my heart to another.

Daxton gently turned my chin, encouraging me to meet his luminous gray stare. “Because I know what it’s like to be held against your will. I understand that kernel of fear and darkness that you are now burdenedwith carrying. And trust me when I tell you that this willnotbreak you.”

My eyes widened with shock at the realization of his confession. “What do you mean?” I dared to ask him.

He nervously licked his lips, guiding my hands through the opening collar of his shirt to discover twin scars across his chest. “These,” he whispered as he slid my hands over the crisscross marks. “These are some of the visible scars I carry from Minaeve’s imprisonment.”

My heart stopped as I traced over the thick scars on his body. They were old, perhaps from centuries ago, yet they never truly healed.

“It was iron.” Daxton sighed, staring off to the side of the bedroom with a depth of horror in his gaze that was difficult to swallow. I gulped a heavy breath, sensing the pain that he tried so hard to keep buried beneath his armor of bravery. His fingers tightened around mine. “Minaeve hung me from the ceiling with barbs threaded through my chest.”

I gasped, my hands moving to cover my mouth. “Oh, my Gods … Daxton. What? Why?”

“Because I refused to submit to her rule as high queen and freely offer her my power. When Minaeve cast back the first surge of the wilt, and the veil appeared, she demanded the three realms acknowledge her as our high queen. Adohan’s father and Seamus knelt before her, but I refused.”

“Why did you refuse?” I asked him.

“Because—” There it was again. A blank stare into an abyss like he was missing a key memory from his past. However, he quickly composed himself, blinking a few times before resuming his tale. “I didn’t believe her claim was just or her rule fair. Despite the fact that her magic was… and still is the only thing that can siphon the wilt, I didn’t trust her to protect and care for her people as a ruler should.” His shoulders hunched forward as he fisted his hair in his hand. “The Inner Kingdom suffers, and my people struggle under her reign. They are starved, frightened, oppressed. Living like this for far too long. The shreds of basic decency she shows them are viewed as divine kindness,” he said in a low tone full of discontent. “A ruler should never have loyalty out of fear alone.” Darkness crossed Daxton’s face as he dove back into the suppressed memories that he fought so hard to forget.

I reached out to grasp Daxton’s hands, his grip tightening around my fingers as he continued.

“It was only a few months after the endless battles and war against the humans and shifters when Minaeve assumed the throne despite Silver Meadows’ refusal to support her claim. Minaeve called for a truce with my realm and asked for me to attend a meeting for all of us to strategize a defense against the wilt. Only it wasn’t a meeting at all.” Daxton cursed to himself under his breath as I quietly waited for him to continue, never once letting his hands fall from my own.

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