Page 23 of Perfectly Perplexing Zombie

Curious, I leaned forward but couldn’t see anything beyond an unimpressive brown cardboard box. Evidently, they didn’t have fancy wrapping in the land of Fairy. The box moved, and I pulled back the hand I’d been reaching out with. Glancing at Ray, he seemed completely nonplussed.

Swallowing hard, I gave the box a gentle poke and asked, “Um…what exactly is a scuttlebutt again?” Ray hadn’t told me the first time around.

Instead of verbally answering, Ray opened the top of the box. I shifted, ready to jump back. I didn’t know a lot about Fairy, but rumors were that it was as beautiful as it was deadly. I wasn’t sure how anyone really knew. Only fairies could travel there, so I guessed what the rest of us knew was based on the snippets of information they doled out.

I sort of expected something to jump out at me. When it didn’t, I cautiously leaned forward, peeking over the edge of the opened box. What I saw lit me up from the inside.

“Oh my god,” I cooed. “There’s so much fur.” I’d never seen anything like it. Not alive anyway. It looked like a cross between a tribble fromStar Trekand that fury, Fizzgig creature fromThe Dark Crystal.

Glancing from Ray to the scuttlebutt, I asked, “Is it friendly?” Maybe this was how Ray planned on solving his inconvenient problem. He’d bring me something that would permanently end my reanimated life, and Queen Silvidia’s wishes would be null and void.

“No. Not to everyone,” Ray casually answered. When I pulled my hand back and gave him a questioning glare, he amended, “Scuttlebutts are protective of their tribe members. Orphaned scuttlebutts are often confused and unhappy without a tribe. When adopted, they become fiercely loyal and, I am told, excellent companions. Johnny mentioned your desire for a pet. When I heard this, I could think of no better choice than an orphaned scuttlebutt. This one needs a home and family to protect, and you desire a pet. It seemed the perfect fit.” Tilting his head to the side, Ray innocently asked, “Was I wrong?”

Was he?No, he wasn’t. Sure, it might not be a dog or cat, and the thing inside looked a little weird and made even odder sounds, but he hadn’t read the room wrong.

I started to reach inside the box but faltered. Nothing had changed. The same reason I’d decided not to pursue adopting a more conventional pet was still in place. I wasn’t sure how long I’d be around. I didn’t want the scuttlebutt to become attached to me only to lose me. It wasn’t fair to her.

Taking a step back, I allowed my arms to fall, but I couldn’t shift my gaze from the box. I hadn’t thought it possible, but Ray had actually gotten me a gift I wanted. Badly.

“Wendall?” Ray questioned, taking a step forward but halting when I held up a hand. “Did I do something wrong?” Ray looked inside the box, a true frown marring his lips. “I thought this was a good choice, but perhaps I was incorrect.”

“No. You didn’t do anything wrong.” I’m not sure why, but I didn’t like that Ray was upset because of me—not about this. He’d actually put some thought and effort into the gift. It was a surprise, but not a completely unpleasant one. I’d have to spend time on it later, mulling over his actions and beating them to death in my brain.

“Your reaction confuses me. I thought you were pleased, but now—”

“I won’t be around long.” Shaking my head, I stared at my feet. “This isn’t enough to get me to accept your previous proposal. Nothing has really changed, and it’s not fair to the scuttlebutt. I don’t want her to get attached, and then… You said she was already an orphan. It would be beyond cruel to put her through that again.”

“I see. I did anticipate this issue, Wendall. I did not believe you would suddenly accept my proposal from such a simple gesture.”

Ray was wrong. As gestures went, this one wasn’t as simple as he made it sound. He was trying to hand me something I’d wanted all my life. That was no small thing.

“If you’ll allow, I believe I have a solution.”

My attention perked. I really wanted Ray to have a solution. The hissing noise turned into more of a soothing coo. I still wasn’t entirely certain what a scuttlebutt was, but it sounded damn cute.

Ray took my silence, and maybe my hope-filled eyes, as permission to continue. “As I said earlier, scuttlebutts are tribal creatures. They thrive when they have more than one individual within their tribe. I’m certain Johnny and Peaches are willing to become such members. And, as we both know, if Peaches desires something, Lucroy will follow. If it is agreeable, I can also spend time with her. Considering she is of Fairy, it would make sense to have a fairy as a member of her tribe.”

I cocked an eyebrow. Was that Ray’s angle? Give me the scuttlebutt and say he had to be around more to help take care of her? My sketchy look only got me a blank expression in return. I didn’t buy it. Ray knew exactly what he was doing. The thing I had to decide was if I cared. Could I put up with seeing Ray more often if it meant getting this little lady?

It was a stupid question, and my body moved before my brain caught up. “Can I pick her up?” I asked, already reaching inside the box.

“Let her sniff you first,” Ray instructed.

To be honest, I had no idea where this thing’s head was. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe scuttlebutts had more in common with hedgehogs because when I stuck my finger inside the box, she unrolled, and a twitching nose peeked out from a mound of fluff.

“Hey there,” I softly said, nearly stuffing my head into the box along with my hand. “Take your time.” I wasn’t certain if I smelled okay or not. Sedrick told me I didn’t smell bad, but I did have an odor of decay that no amount of showering removed. My rotting flesh didn’t make me smell any rosier.

Whatever she scented must have been okay. Letting out a shaky gasp, I stared wide-eyed as the scuttlebutt completely unfurled and scurried up my arm. Her legs were short, but her feet got a good grip on my flesh and shirt. A strong, prehensile tail unwrapped from around her round body, twisting around my upper arm as she perched on my shoulder. A tiny tongue darted out, licking my cheek while her small brown eyes sparkled.

I giggled. My reanimated body wasn’t ticklish, but if I’d been alive, my flesh would have prickled at the light, lapping touch.

She cooed softly, chittering by my ear. Her fur was even softer than it looked, and I leaned my cheek into it. Ray appeared pleased.

“She has taken to you quickly.” Ray didn’t just sound approving. He sounded oddly proud. “Scuttlebutts are known for their discerning character judgment. Had she found you offensive, her tail would have wrapped around your neck, and she would have attempted to strangle you.”

“Oh. Wait. What?”

“I had little concern. I did not believe she would react that way, and even if she had, as you do not require oxygen to maintain your current form, it would have merely been painful, not life-threatening.”

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