Page 6 of Perfectly Perplexing Zombie

“I wish I could have found this type of life when I was alive,” I lamented. “If I’d gotten away from my family sooner, maybe I’d still be a living, breathing human.”

Muriel’s attention swung my way, eyes narrowed. “How do you figure?”

I was taken aback. “Well…I mean, they did murder me. Maybe if I wasn’t around, then—”

“They didn’t murder you, sugar.”

My mouth slammed shut, teeth clicking. “Wait, what? Yes, they did.” I was positive. “And then they lied to you, accused me of heinous things so you’d agree to resurrect me as a zombie.”

That was what happened. I was sure of it. Muriel had even told me that she’d punished my family members. I still wasn’t certain what she’d done, only that it had been deserved.

“Well, you’ve got part of it right. Your aunt and uncle are some seriously evil people, but they didn’t kill you. I checked with the police. Neither of them was behind the wheel of the car that hit you. They’ve both got an alibi, and nothing was found linking them to a plot to take you out.”

By the time I blinked, my eyes were painfully dry. “But I thought…”

I’d just sort of assumed they’d been the ones, even though I couldn’t really figure out why. I hadn’t even laid eyes on nor spoken with them for going on a year. I was in college, attending Virginia State University. I was a history major with big dreams of becoming an archaeologist. My aunt and uncle weren’t paying for anything. I’d taken out student loans, expecting a lifetime of debt. Funny how death forgave my loans.

“Your aunt and uncle are jackasses, but they aren’t murderers, just profiteers. Zombies aren’t really even worth that much. What little cash they got for your corpse wasn’t close enough to justify their lies.”

I’d learned that a few of Muriel’s zombies came from the penal system, but most were corpses she’d bought and paid for. They were humans who’d lived less than stellar lives. Muriel was choosey. She didn’t zombify those she didn’t deem deserved it. Muriel followed human and fairy law to the limit, and she’d created a successful business in the process.

I digested this new information, processing it but pulling up blanks. “I was told it was murder,” I mused, speaking more to myself than Muriel.

“Oh, that it was,” she agreed. “There was an eyewitness who said the car aimed itself at you and accelerated. There were no skid marks on the road. And besides, you were walking on a sidewalk. Your death was no accident, honey. What they don’t know is who’s responsible. The eyewitness didn’t get a license plate number. Can’t say that I blame them. It had to have been quite the shock.” Again, Muriel patted me on the knee. “They called 911 immediately, but I’m afraid it was too late. Mercies are often small, but I take a little comfort knowing you died instantly.”

I wasn’t sure if it was a mercy, but I supposed if death was inevitable, then doing it quickly was the best way to go. I didn’t have many memories of my death. I vaguely remembered hearing an engine accelerate. Maybe I started to turn, but if I did, I couldn’t remember anything I saw. There was an explosion of pain, its source unknown. It was like my whole body was consumed with it, and then…nothing. There was absolutely nothing again until I opened my eyes and found Muriel’s deep brown gaze staring back at me.

The police had never bothered speaking with me, probably because they were still under the impression I was a mindless zombie. If they’d taken the time, I doubted I would have been a lot of help. In fact, Muriel seemed to know a lot more about what happened to me than I did.

“Do you know this much about all your zombies?”

“No, but you’re special. After I figured out what lying shits your aunt and uncle were, I looked into things more closely. I’m sorry to say that your case is a cold one. I doubt anyone’s trying very hard at this point. It’s not like…” Muriel’s voice faded, her eyes apologetic.

“It’s not like I’ve got family pushing the police to solve my case,” I finished for her.

“Exactly. In defense of the police, I think the detective on your case tried. There just wasn’t much to go on. It’s like the car involved just up and vanished into thin air.” Muriel shrugged. “No one could find a motive. There wasn’t a car, and to be honest, no suspects. They hit a wall.”

Elbows planted on my knees, I cradled my chin in my cupped hands, staring a hole through the floor. “I don’t know either. Not that anyone asked, but if they had, I don’t have a clue who’d want to kill me.” Some might have thought I was being terribly pragmatic and unemotional regarding my murder. They’d probably be right. I just didn’t see the sense in getting irate about something I couldn’t go back in time and change. It had been a few months since my death, and I’d gotten used to my new “life.”

“The investigator I hired couldn’t find anything either.”

I jolted. “You hired an investigator?”

Pink dusted Muriel’s cheeks. “I didn’t like what happened. It didn’t sit well with me, and I hated being used. I think it’s safe to say your aunt and uncle regret their deception.” Muriel threw me a conspiratorial wink. “But my curiosity was piqued, and I’d already grown fond of you. I wanted to know what happened.” With a sigh, she added, “Not that it did much good.”

“I’m sorry.” I reached over, grasping Muriel’s hand in mine and squeezing tight. “And, for what it’s worth, thank you for trying. I don’t think anyone in my life has ever been as nice to me as you and Johnny.” If I’d been able to form them, tears would have leaked from my eyes.

“Oh, sugar, you deserve a lot more.” Placing a hand on my chest, over my silent heart, Muriel said, “You’re one of the good ones. Sometimes, I hate the world, or at least I wish I could change it. But we do the best with what we’ve got, and for better or worse, this is the lot you and I’ve been thrown.”

My gaze caught on my rotting flesh, the reality of the situation lying in my gut heavily. “You know, even if we can’t figure this out, I’m glad you reanimated me. The past few months have been better than my breathing years.”

I’d hoped to bring a smile to her face, but if anything, Muriel appeared sadder. Shaking off the gloom, Muriel’s shoulders stiffened with resolve. “We’ll get this figured out. I’m going straight to my coroner friend. I’ll get you more quality food, and we’ll see what that does first. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll consult with every priest and priestess in the world. If an answer’s out there, we’ll find it.”

I nodded, desperately wishing I could bottle Muriel’s certainty.

“Okay. I’ll let Ray know we’ve got a plan.”

“Ray?” I perked up. “What does he have to do with this?”

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