Page 8 of Lit Up by My Brother's Best Friend

“I know.”

“Look at me. There was nothing you could have done. The fire was too big—” she chokes up “—and she breathed in too much smoke.”

I’m pretty sure I mumbledI knowagain, but now her hands are in my hair and she’s pulling my head to her chest. And somehow I felt wetness against her shirt. I wonder how her shirt got wet from her tears before I realize it’s wet from my tears. But I don’t think about the tears right now. I just hold her and she holds me. She holds me like she wants to. Like there’s something worth holding onto.

I haven’t cried over my guilt in a long time. I’ve just accepted it. But maybe I don’t have to.

Chapter 5

SIERRA

“I’m sorry for that.” He’s pulling away, and I get it. I just forced him into an intimate situation that he wasn’t expecting.

“No need to apologize for that.”

“Well,” he scratches his jaw, “sorry for unloading my deepest secrets on you.”

I can hear the levity in his tone, but I know he’s not lying. “I’m glad you did. I’m glad you feel like you can share things with me.”

He doesn’t reply. He just looks at me like he’s hungry. Like I’ve got something that he wants but he can’t have it. And I don’t understand the look except that I’m pretty sure I’m giving it right back to him.

And then his look is gone. “Since you’ve been good enough to share my burden. I should return the favor.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m talking about spin the bottle.”

Shit. What? He wants to kiss me? That hunger was for a kiss? Oh my God. I’m freaking out. Where the hell is my lipchap—

“You should play with Brady. Even though it would just be for fun. You should do it.”

Oh. Of course that’s what he meant. “I would. But that might be awkward.”

“Nothing like that should be awkward in a relationship.”

“We broke up.”

He chokes on something. I hope it’s not an M&M. Oh my God. I don’t know CPR.

“Are you alright?”

“Yup.” He coughs a couple of more times. Then when he’s done coughing, he asks, “When did you break up?”

“A few months ago.”

“Months? How did I not know about this?”

“Truthfully, I wasn’t ready for the whole town to know about it. You know how it is in Lit Creek. I just needed some time to process it.”

He just nods along, so I keep talking. “It was almost a decade that we were together.”

“I know.” Those two words hang heavy in the air. Not like his words earlier when he was trying to dismiss what I was saying. Nope. These words are acting as though they’ve been burdened for a while.

“Anyway, we’re done. I think it’s been over for a while. Since he went away for his ketchup chip videos.”

“Oh yes. Those. I couldn’t get past the fingerlicking.”

A chuckle escapes my mouth. “Yes. That…well…that’s something no one should have to endure.”

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