Page 18 of Hannah.

At first, I’m sure this is just an issue with me, some leftover affection from years ago rising to the surface. But then Johan’s eyes flicker down to my lips, and his tongue darts out, licking his bottom lip. The warmth in my stomach becomes a wildfire. Oh, no. This is bad.

Kiss him! The part of me that has been into Johan from the beginning chants.Kiss him now!

If he kisses me, I don’t think I’ll resist. But this is Johan Bentinck we’re talking about—he’s a gentleman, and no matter how he tries to word it, he’s dating Astrid in some capacity. So we resist, both aware of the complexity of our situation and the unspoken boundaries that restrain us.

“Let me walk you up…I want to make sure you get there safely.” His voice is husky, his body closer to mine in the backseat than I remember.

That’s just asking for trouble. “…It’s better if you don’t.” And then, because I’m feeling petty, I add, “Tell Astrid I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye.”

“Hannah, wait–” I climb out of the car and shut the door behind me, striding towards my building entrance. As I reach the front door, I’m both relieved and disappointed that he didn't try to follow.

Returning to my dorm, I sink into my bed, the weight of the evening settling over me. My fingers trace the outline of the small trinket I took from the exhibition through my clutch, and I pull it out, feeling the weight of it in my palms as the metal absorbs the warmth of my skin—like it’s a part of me.

Still in my evening dress, I lay back on the mattress and hold the pocket watch to catch the light. It helps me forget about Johan…helps me get control of my rampaging feelings for him that have no place in my life anymore.

First, the necklace from the exposition where I met Astrid, and now this tiny trinket where I met Johan again, each item seems to carry a secret story. Two items since I got to Cambridge…it’s probably too much, too fast. Maybe I should slow down.

Lying there, I’m torn between guilt and exhilaration. I let both feelings wash over me, twirling the chain of the pocket watch around my finger. What a strange evening….

Astrid and Johan together. I’ll have to figure out how to deal with their relationship if I want to keep both friendships. The ghost of the kiss that almost happened in the Uber isn’t far from my mind, but it’s a useless fantasy. This watch and the burning thrill of obtaining it are real. For the rest of the night, at least, I can focus on that.

6

Hannah

The week has spedpast in a blur, each day melding into the next. It’s as if Monday morning's alarm heralded a rapid sprint through classes, tasks, and brief coffee breaks, all cascading one after the other without pause. The hours slipped away unnoticed, filled with a constant stream of activity that left little room to catch my breath. It feels as though I’ve just blinked, and the week is already waving goodbye, leaving me to wonder where all that time has actually gone. Now, it’s Friday morning, and I’m sorting through my desk, which has a multitude of textbooks strewn about. Outside, the campus buzzes with life, and I’m deep into my art history notes when my phone vibrates. It’s Astrid, her name glowing on the screen. Upon answering, her joyful voice cheers me up. “Hey, girl! How's your day shaping up?”

“Oh, you know, the usual college madness,” I reply, trying to sound breezy despite the whirl of nerves in my stomach.

I haven’t seen her since the night of the exhibit, when I discovered that she was dating Johan. For some reason, I fearshe’ll find out about my past with him or our almost kiss in the back of the Uber.

As far as I can tell, Astrid seems oblivious as her laughter dances through the phone. “I have a proposition for you. How about ditching the chaos of college life for the weekend? I’m putting together a croquet match at my parents. The forecast says clear blue skies—a rare treat around these parts. Thought you might be interested.”

Her words paint a vivid scene in my mind—rolling green fields, the scent of flowers, the click of croquet mallets. It feels like a page torn out of a storybook.

I hesitate, torn between Astrid's warmth and thoughts of Johan lingering in my mind. “That sounds amazing. I just...I’m not sure. I’ve got so much to study, you know?”

“I get it,” Astrid says, her voice full of understanding. “But I'd love for you to come. It’s a chance to unwind and forget college stress for a bit. And I promise, it'll be a blast. Let me know, okay? We leave at five. It’s a two-hour drive, so we’ll get there on time for dinner.”

I agree, promising to mull it over, but the image of that idyllic weekend stays with me.It does sound amazing….

Well, I still have some time to decide. Since I have a class today, I grab my bag and leave the dorm. The sunlit morning paints the campus in hues of gold, casting long shadows across the historic stones. Students bustle past, their chatter blending with the crisp breeze.

I weave through the maze of it all, still struck by the architecture and history of this place. I wonder if I will ever get used to it.

In the lecture hall, I turn over the possibility of going to Astrid’s parents’ in my mind. She didn’t mention anything about Johan being there, so that’s a plus. I do still feel a little bit like I’m deceiving her by not telling her about my family or personalhistory with Johan, but that’s because he wanted to pretend we were strangers. It wasn’t my call; I was just playing along.

The truth is, I want to invest in my friendship with Astrid, and inviting me back to her family home is a good sign. It all but confirms to me that she reallydoesenjoy my company and isn’t just having me around because she feels sorry for me or something.

Well…okay. It does sound fun, and I could use the chance to unwind. When the professor pauses for a few moments to take a drink, I pull my phone out and send Astrid a message, my mind made up.

Hey Astrid, I’m in for this weekend! See you at five!I press send, sealing my commitment to the plans we've made.

It feels good. I’m sure I’ve made the right choice. Just as I exhale in relief, my phone buzzes again, capturing my attention. Anticipating Astrid’s reply, I glance at the screen, only to find Johan’s name blinking back at me. Surprise jolts through me.

I'll be free between 3 and 4 pm. Would you like to pass by my department for a chat?his message reads.

Wow. Okay. I can’t deny that I’m curious, and of course, that magnetic pull between Johan and me makes me want to agree… but I’ve just accepted an invitation to spend the weekend with the girl he’s dating, which makes things a bit more complicated. On one side, I want to stop by to talk about Amelia, but on the other, I still need some time to sort out my feelings.

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