Page 78 of Sebastian.

There’s no clock on the bedside table here in the guest room, and God only knows where my phone is. Judging by the position of the sun through the curtains, it’s still quite early. Maybe I can sneak out and have coffee ready for Julia when she wakes up… it might cut down on the awkwardness if I’m not naked in bed beside her after a night of drinking.

Hell…it was only one bottle of wine split between us. Surely it wasn’t just the alcohol leading her to bed with me? There’s a thread of anxious guilt thinking she might regret what happened, but there’s nothing to be done about it now. She was more than willing, and I know she wanted me. All I can hope now is that she still does and doesn't pull away even more now that we’ve slept together for the first time in so long.

Sliding out from under the sheets, I find my discarded jeans and try to pull them on quietly, cringing when I hear Julia shifting around in the bed. I hold my breath, but right before I can button them up, I hear her murmur something with a little chuckle.

“Leaving now won’t make me forget what we did last night.”

Damn, I think. So much for being sneaky.

I finish buttoning my pants and slowly turn to see my wife sitting up in bed, the sheet clutched around her chest. She’s even more lovely like this, with the morning light catching the halo of her hair, and it’s difficult not to just crawl back into bed with her and pull her warm body against mine. Without these damn jeans, of course.

“I didn’t mean to wake you; I’m sorry,” I tell her, rubbing the back of my neck, embarrassed at being caught leaving. It’s not that I don’t want to face her…it’s just that I’m afraid of a possible confrontation and the potential regret she might feel. "Can you stay for breakfast, at least?”

Her smile blooms slowly, and to my greatest surprise, she simply says, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Okay…so far so good. She looks…content. Happy, even. “Great. I’ll tell Claudia.”

* * *

After getting dressed in last night’s attire, Julia and I head to the kitchen in silence, an awkward tension between us. We settle down to eat at the breakfast table. Claudia places two steaming cups of coffee in front of each of us when suddenly Hannah strolls in wearing her school uniform.

She stutters to a stop upon seeing her mother, looks up from her phone, and raises one accusatory eyebrow. “Oh, welcome back, Mom.”

My wife avoids our daughter’s gaze and sips her coffee, embarrassed, and I have to stifle a laugh.

Hannah settles right in front of her, a growing smirk on her face as she notices that her mom is wearing the same clothes as yesterday. I can see Hannah’s working on some quip to throw at her mom, but I shoot her a glare that reads, “Don’t you dare,” and my daughter just swallows her remark.

After setting her cup down and pushing her waffle around her plate, Julia clears her throat and decides she can’t ignore Hannah forever. “So, Hannah, your birthday is right around the corner. Are you excited?”

She shrugs, unbothered. “Sort of, I guess… Dad has insisted on being present for the cake, so if you want to join, you are welcome to.”

Julia laughs sarcastically. “Oh, how thoughtful of you to allow your parents to attend your birthday party.”

Despite the brief blip of discomfort, having breakfast with Julia is wonderful. Hell, anything normal we do is wonderful. I miss these domestic moments so much that, if I think about it too hard, I have to catch my breath. Just having her close, across the table, laughing with the kids and looking happy for the first time in so long… I wish she weren’t leaving.

But before I know it, breakfast is being cleared off the table, and it’s time for my wife to return to her mother’s estate. She stands, smoothing her clothes, and looks at me expectedly. I sigh, knowing I have to be a gentleman. I can’t force her to stay, and begging isn’t in my character.

I hold out my arm for her, and she joins me, her expression soft and loving as I walk her to her car. She looks around, as if she isn’t ready to leave, but her legs carry her forward, and soon, we’re in front of the black sedan. Julia leans against me, not fully, but just enough that I feel her weight and know that it’s intentional.

Looking down at her, the impulse to taste her mouth is strong. I had my lips and tongue on almost every inch of her last night, so it seems bizarre to be so cautious today. But I don’t want to mess things up, not when we’ve made so much progress.

So, despite what I want to do, I tilt her head up towards me with a finger under her chin and gently kiss her cheek. Her smile grows when I pull back, telling me I made the right choice.

Breaking the silence, I ask, “Once everything has been settled with Karl, would you… consider moving back in and giving me another chance?”

She pauses, tilting her head to the side as she considers my offer. Finally, she says, “If you get rid of Karl for good and accept Roxanne as part of the family, then maybe. But until then, it’s best we stay apart.”

Coffee and waffles sour in my stomach at the mention of both Roxanne and Karl, but I keep a straight face. I’d do anything for Julia, and while I’m already in the process of cutting Karl out of my life, I haven’t come to terms with the fact that Roxanne is now my daughter-in-law. I don’t think I will ever be okay with it, but I've made so many mistakes just to try to remove the woman from our lives that they far eclipse any sins she may have committed in the past.

Roxanne Feng, my daughter-in-law. Alright. I can do that. It’s a bitter pill, but I can swallow it.

I drag my knuckles down Julia’s cheek and give her a single nod. “Okay. I guess I can work on that.”

24

Sebastian

It’s beena few days since Julia stayed at the house overnight, and I feel as though everything has been in some sort of stasis. Nothing has changed, nothing has moved forward…but at least nothing has moved backwards, either. I’ve been growing more and more restless with the constant lack of movement, but it could be worse, so I try to put it out of my mind and focus on running my business and being the best father that I can be.

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