Page 46 of Sebastian.

There’s no point in lying. I shrug one shoulder, knowing that it isn’t the answer she wants to hear. “Yes.”

Mother hums in annoyance, but keeps the bitterest of her opinions to herself, for which I’m thankful. “Well, I guess that’s to be expected. I’d have hoped after all these years that that man’s grip on you would have lessened some. But it seems you’re just as devoted as ever.”

“It’s a surprise to me too, honestly,” I laugh sardonically. “If someone had told me that Sebastian was going to pull all the nonsense that he has, I’d have assured him that I would be long gone. Yet, here I am, still unable to make a choice.” A lump starts to build in my throat, and the urge to flee the conversation suddenly hits me hard. “Mom, is Pablo here?”

She turns to me, surprised at the sudden pivot in subjects. “Of course, he must be at the stables, getting the horses ready. Why?” Mom’s curiosity seeps through her words.

I meet her gaze, quietly determined to salvage the rest of the day. “Can you send Elise and Dan to meet me at the stable in ten minutes? I'm going to go inside and change.”

* * *

Just a few minutes later, I'm standing in front of my closet, feeling a mix of nostalgia and excitement. It feels like stepping into a time capsule when I see my old riding clothes: the blouse, breeches, and riding boots that used to be my second skin during a time in my life where I was freer to ride whenever I wanted.

With a hint of trepidation, I pick up the blouse. The fabric is soft, and I can almost feel the wind on my face as I ride through open fields. The breeches still fit surprisingly well, hugging my form like an old friend. And the boots, only slightly worn and weathered but still polished to a mirror shine, cradle my feet.

Looking down at myself, I can't help but smile. It's like reconnecting with a part of me that's been tucked away for too long. The memories flood back—the laughter, the freedom, the bond with the horses. I'm transported back to a time when life felt simpler, when challenges could be left behind with each gallop.

Sure, the clothes might be a bit of a throwback, but honestly, they're making me feel pretty damn good right now. It's like slipping into a piece of my history…a piece that fits as snugly as it did back then. The years have been kind to my body at least, and there's a certain pride in realizing that the woman in the mirror is still the same one who used to ride with the wind in her hair and a heart full of dreams.

I can't help but be excited for the ride ahead. Elise and Dan, horses, and a chance to relive some of those moments—it's like reconnecting with a part of myself that I've missed. And yeah, I might be older, but I'm sure I can keep up.

With a final wink to the mirror, I turn away and head to the stables, the anticipation bubbling up inside me. It’s not often I get to do something novel, but this certainly counts. I'm on a mission to find my old companion, my favorite mare––a beautiful gray dapple named Star. She's the one who’s carried me through countless adventures, her spirit mirroring my own, regal but secretly lighthearted.

And there she is, nestled in her stall, her dappled coat like a canvas painted with shades of gray and white. I lean against the doorframe, a soft smile curving my lips as I take her in. She's aged, like we all have, but there's an enduring elegance about her. Her eyes, wise and gentle, meet mine, and in that moment, it's like we're picking up a conversation that was never truly paused.

“Hey there, old girl,” I murmur, my voice full of fondness and affection. I step closer, her welcoming gaze never leaving mine. Her ears flick forward, as if she's acknowledging my presence. It’s a silent understanding that spans the years between us.

Reaching to the mare, her muzzle stretches out, her breath warm against my hand. I offer my palm, and she nuzzles it gently, a gesture that tugs at my heartstrings. There's a bond between us, like there is every horse and rider that have known each other for years. I stroke her velvety nose, feeling the faint tickle of whiskers against my skin.

“It’s good to see you, girl,” I confess, my words soft as a whisper. Star shifts her weight, leaning into my touch, as if sharing the sentiment. It's as if we're reliving all the times we’ve had. The gallops through open fields, the quiet rides that felt like a secret shared between kindred spirits…Star and I have been through quite a bit together.

It isn’t like I haven’t visited her while I’ve been staying with Mom, but there’s a difference between a short visit and an actual trail ride, which is what we have planned today.

“Ready for a ride, old friend?” I ask her with a playful glint in my eye.

Her response is a soft whicker, a sound that seems to say, “Always.”

It's a promise––a promise of shared moments, of laughter, of feeling that unique blend of freedom and connection that only comes when you're on the back of a horse you trust implicitly.

With a final pat and a lingering gaze, I leave her stall, searching for Pablo to have him get Star saddled up. To my surprise, I come across the young man already heading over to her stall, my dark leather saddle in his arms. He tips his head to me and I return the gesture.

“Your mom told me you wanted to go for a ride. Your daughter is already in the right wing of the stable,” he calls behind his shoulder.

“Thanks Pablo,” I reply back, now on a mission to find my daughter, knowing that Star is in good hands and will be ready for me shortly.

The sound of approaching footsteps and a burst of laughter catches my attention, and I turn to see Elise and Dan making their way towards me. Elise moves with a confident grace, her every step echoing her years as a serious rider. Her horse, a spirited chestnut named Ember that she has by the lead, exudes the same fire as its name suggests—a perfect match for Elise's skill and determination.

Dan, on the other hand, approaches with a touch of uncertainty, his posture revealing that riding is more of a leisure activity for him. The paint gelding, named Rusty, that Elise has chosen for him embodies a calm and gentle presence. He’s a steadfast companion that understands its rider's less frequent encounters with the saddle. My mouth quirks up seeing Elise’s choice for her boyfriend––a part of me expected that she would pair him with a horse that was a bit more spirited, just for laughs. If she’s being this considerate, then Dan really must be on her good side lately.

“Hey, Mom!” Elise chirps, her eyes bright with excitement as she joins me. “Are you gonna go with us for a ride?”

My heart warms, and a genuine smile tugs at my lips. “Yes, I haven't seriously ridden a horse for years, but since you came here to ride, so I want to do it with you.”

Elise's hug envelops me in a cocoon of affection, bridging the gap between mother and daughter. “Gosh! I’m even more excited now.”

Dan offers a friendly smile, a little eager and a little nervous, all at the same time. “Ready for a ride, Julia?”

I chuckle, stretching my arms above my head. “As ready as I'll ever be. And Star seems eager to stretch her legs, too.”

---