Page 41 of Sebastian.

“Yeah, I do.” This is another lie. I have no idea what Julia will do, and I think it will all depend on how she’s feeling about me when the opportunity arises. But I don’t need to tell Karl that. “She’ll more than likely have the prosecutor drop whatever evidence they have that leads to you.”

Julia, my wife, is a strong and determined woman. If she has any hope of us getting back together, she will try her best to shield me from any further consequences…at least I think so. I know how her mind works, and she knows well that things that damage my image also damage the image of our family. A part of me feels guilty for putting her in such a difficult position, but the other part of me knows that I have to use every option available to me if I ever want to recover from the lap dance scandal.

Karl seems to melt into his chair, his relief so strong that it’s almost visible. “Thank goodness. I really thought this might be the thing that takes me down. Your family connections really saved me a lot of trouble.”

The fact that he’s so happy, even knowing that Julia is as angry with me as she is, really pisses me off. Karl gave me barely two sentences to apologize for the scandal that he dragged me into, but his demeanor changes immediately when he finds out that Julia can save his ass. As long as he comes out clean on the other side, it seems like he has zero issue using other people. Other people like my wife.

He’s oblivious to what I’m feeling, though, and stands up to leave, stopping mid stretch to tell me, “Hey, eh, I’m having lunch with clients later. You should come.”

“I don’t know…” Being out in public again with Karl doesn’t exactly sound like the best idea right now.

Karl is insistent, though. “It will be good for clients to see you in person and being totally entrenched in company work. You want them to see you as the CEO, not the man in the gossip columns, you know what I mean?”

I hate that he’s right. I scrub my hands over my face and beard, stalling, before I finally have to accept the invitation. “Okay, yeah. I’ll go.”

Satisfied, Karl leaves, and I’m alone once more. Drumming my fingers on the dark wooden desk, I waste away minutes contemplating the conversation with Karl. He seemed pleased with my response, but now that he’s gone, a realization is hitting me like a ton of bricks; Karl knows I've always had his back, and I've instinctively done his bidding without question. I’ve gone above and beyond to keep Karl comfortable and out of trouble, because of the promise I made to my father. Not only that…I did everything for him because it lessened the chances of him ever finding out who his father really was. All it’d take would be a court requesting a DNA sample to charge or eliminate Karl from having committed a crime for our dark family secret to be blown wide open.

For years, it has worked, even if it has been incredibly difficult and distasteful at times. But now, if I want my family back, I need to change my allegiance, just as Alex suggested. I need to change my allegiance, but the cost of doing so is daunting.

Julia and the kids are everything to me, and I can't let my pride and arrogance ruin what we have built together. Roxanne is now part of the family, and I must accept her, regardless of my feelings about her past. I don’t have to like her, and I don’t think I ever will, but I have to get over the fact that she now holds a permanent spot in my family. And my family's happiness should come before anything else.

Deep down, I know I've made mistakes, but I hope it's not too late to make amends. I need to show Julia that I can change, that I'm willing to put our family first, and that I'm truly sorry for what happened at Andries's wedding. I must make her understand that I'll never let my ego come before our love again. First, though, I have to do some self reflection to make sure that I really mean it.

As I take a deep breath, a plan starts forming in my mind. I will speak to Julia, not as the successful businessman she's known for so long, but as the vulnerable man who loves her with all his heart. I'll be honest, open, and willing to change for the sake of our family. No more prioritizing Karl's wishes over my family's needs. It's time to prove to Julia that she means the world to me. It won't be easy, but I'm determined to show her that I'm capable of change.

* * *

Drowning in paperwork and correspondence that has built up over the summer break, I almost miss the start of the meeting that is clearly written on my schedule. I’d really like it to just be a day where I can reacquaint myself with being back at work, but apparently we’re all getting thrown right in the deep end. It’s fine…it isn’t like I have done this job for the better part of my life or anything. I’m used to it at this point.

The energy in the meeting room is jovial, everyone refreshed from the time off. All of the joking and chatter slows down when I enter, though, and I know it’s because they all know about the article about Karl and I. Karl, to his credit, looks totally unbothered—he’s already sitting, talking animatedly with the man beside him. If my own employees want to treat me differently because of some puff piece, then so be it. I’m not about to bring it up.

I take my seat at the head of the long table and notice that one of the assistants has already placed bottles of still spring water on the surface in front of each chair, so I take mine, cracking the seal and taking a drink. Everyone else takes this as a sign that we’re getting ready to start, and finds their seats, too. Papers shuffle, people murmur amongst themselves, and finally everyone is ready to begin.

The financial department goes first, and I’m just relieved that I don’t have to be the first one to speak. Right now, I just want to observe all my employees to see how much has changed since I saw them last. The problem is, I keep glancing at the empty chair beside me where Elise used to sit. It’s the only empty seat, and I notice that no one bothered to take it, either. There are a few glances that notice the absence of my daughter, but it isn’t mentioned.

I hate that she’s not here. The realization that I dismissed her because she chose family over Karl hits me hard. Elise and I were given the same test—she passed, I failed. There is a healthy amount of self-loathing inside of me for this, but at the same time, I’m proud of my girl. Respect for my daughter surges within me, wondering how she's coping with her second year in college. My mind drifts back to the past, reminiscing about the precious moments when my children were young and the family felt complete. Regret washes over me for not cherishing those times enough, for not realizing the true value of family unity and loyalty.

Thoughts of Julia flood my mind––the woman I love, the woman I've hurt. Memories of our beautiful moments together, the laughter, love, and passion, engulf me. I miss her warm smile, the way her eyes used to light up when I entered the room. But now, a wall stands between us, and I'm unsure how to break it down.

Change is necessary; I know that much at least. I must prioritize my family above all else. The allure of everything that Karl offered me that fateful night––alcohol, beautiful women, and the respect of said beautiful women, was all too easy to fall for. I neglected my family in pursuit of more, blind to the fact that true satisfaction lies in the love and support of those who genuinely care for me.

The ache in my heart grows as I face the possibility of losing Julia and my children, left alone in a world where material possessions mean nothing without love and family. I know Julia deserves better, a husband who cherishes her, who stands by her in good times and bad, who puts family above all else. I have to prove myself to her, to show that I can change, that I can become the man she needs me to be.

“Mr. Van den Bosch?” The head of the financial department speaks up. I come back to the present with a jolt, realizing that he’s finished his presentation and is looking to me for comments.

“Thank you, everything looks to be on track,” I tell him, even though I have zero clue what the man was saying. He seems satisfied, though, and sits down. The head of the community outreach department stands, clears the slides from the previous presentation, and begins his own.

I guess I should pay attention this time. With a deep sigh, I pick up my pen and turn the pages in the packet that has been prepared for me. It’s going to be a long afternoon.

* * *

Following the meeting, Karl meets me outside, and we take a car together to the restaurant. He’s very talkative, as if we haven’t been through hell for the past week, but I keep my answers short. He’s booked a table at Bolenius, but it doesn’t matter to me where we go. This is all for image, and nothing more.

We arrive, and I close my eyes for just a second, centering myself and making sure that I’m fully back in the identity of the savvy CEO of Van den Bosch industries, not the tragic fallen family man. There are two men, clients of Karl’s, waiting for us in the lobby. He greets them quickly, shaking hands and patting them jovially on the arms. I shove my hands into my pockets and look around. The lighting is soft, and the decor modern but quiet enough that it’s fitting for a business lunch. Once Karl is finished, I also greet our clients with a warm smile, hoping to make a positive impression.

Karl, as usual, takes the lead, confidently guiding us to our reserved table. His charm and charisma are on full display, and I remember how much of an asset he’s been to our company, all the way back to when my father was CEO. He has always been good at schmoozing clients, and today is no exception.

One of the clients glances around and to my biggest surprise, asks Karl, “Oh, where's the intern? Elise, wasn't it? She used to come with you, right?”