Page 3 of Sebastian.

As Andries continues to chat about their plans, my mind drifts back to the past. I remember a time when Sebastian and I were inseparable, our love stronger than any adversity. Now, the chasm between us seems insurmountable. I force myself to push those thoughts aside, since today is about celebrating the love between Andries and Roxanne. My mother’s estate might be adorned for a celebration that represents a new chapter in our eldest child’s life, but it feels empty without Sebastian.

I hope Andries can’t see the cracks in my facade, but I know he’s perceptive. I wish for his happiness more than anything, and I pray that my own pain won't overshadow his joy on this momentous occasion. The path of motherhood is filled with triumphs and trials, and today is no exception as I navigate this intricate dance.

As Andries talks about their upcoming honeymoon, my heart lightens momentarily, finding solace thinking of his happiness. “I'm glad you're looking forward to the honeymoon,” I say, attempting to sound upbeat despite the heaviness lurking in the depths of my thoughts.

Andries smiles, and I even see a hint of color high in his cheeks. “Yeah…I really am. It will be good to have the time alone to relax before my classes start back up.”

I think over my next set of words carefully, wanting to be diplomatic and not insulting to my future daughter-in-law.

“Now that Roxanne is, eh… not working anymore, what is she going to do with all her spare time during your school hours?”

He sits up a little straighter, excited. “She’s actually writing a memoir. Roxie is really enthusiastic about the entire thing. Maybe her next big calling in life will be as an author, who knows?”

Roxanne's plan to work on her memoir piques my curiosity. “A memoir?” I inquire, hoping to learn more about my future daughter-in-law. There is an obvious distance and awkwardness between her and I, and I’m desperate for anything that might help me connect. “What is it about specifically?”

Andries smiles, his eyes glowing with admiration for the woman he loves. “It's about her time as an escort, and then a madam, Mom,” he tells me, his enthusiasm palpable. “She wants to share her experiences, the ups and downs of the industry, and shed light on the challenges faced by people like herself.” He speaks as if he’s reading off a script, and I realize this must be exactly what Roxanne told him to say when people ask about the book.

My heart sinks at the idea. Roxanne’s former career is exactly what has caused all the trouble with Sebastian. Well…Roxanne’s former career and the fact that Karl was a client of hers and her escort agency. It’s exactly why she ended up in the media, dragging Andries and all of our family along with her by association. I truly hoped that we were finished dealing with all of that, but now my son tells me she’s about to bring it all back to the present with this memoir. The thought of Roxanne sharing intimate details about her past fills me with a mix of discomfort and concern.

“Don't you think she should leave the past in the past?” I can't help but ask, my voice tinged with unease. “A memoir, telling the whole world about what she did…” my words trail off, fearing that I may have overstepped a boundary, but I can’t help voicing my genuine concern.

Andries looks annoyed, his love for Roxanne evident in the way he defends her aspirations. It’s clear to me that this isn’t the first time he’s had to explain and justify this memoir and the fact that it will make her past very, very public. “She believes it will be enlightening for people to understand the reality of the industry. She already has a publisher interested in her story, and she's determined to share her truth.”

I try to mask my disappointment, my heart aching at the idea of my son's future wife revealing all the explicit parts of her past. But I must respect their choices…even though I’m positive Sebastian will be absolutely apoplectic when he finds out about the memoir. Hopefully I can keep it all under wraps until he’s calmed down and our marriage is back to normal.

“Oh, of course,” I manage to say, mustering a smile. “It's her decision, after all….”

My heart still drums with unease as the idea of Roxanne’s memoir lingers in my mind like a persistent shadow. I can't shake the discomfort it brings, and I find myself needing to know more. Gathering my courage, I decide to broach the subject further with Andries even though I can feel the frustration emanating off of him. I wonder just how much pushback the two of them have gotten about this idea.

“Will she publish the memoir under her real name or use a pen name?” I ask cautiously, trying to sound casual while my mind races.

Andries’s brow furrows slightly, but he replies nonetheless, “Her real name. She's proud of the company she built up and sold for a good chunk of money. She wants to own her past, Mom.”

Her real name.The words echo in my mind, heightening my concerns. I understand Roxanne's desire to embrace her past, but the thought of her being so exposed worries me. “Andries, please,” I implore gently, turning myself fully towards him. “I don't mean to meddle, but could you ask her to remove any mention of our family from the memoir? Including Elise and your father.”

Andries’s reaction surprises me; his anger flares up instantly and he lets out a loud sigh. “Why are you trying to protect him after everything he's done?” he asks, his voice edged with hurt.

I take a deep breath, trying to maintain my composure. “He is your father, Andries. I know that Roxanne is proud of the life she built and has no shame about it, but things are different when it involves our family name. You know this.”

Andries looks torn, caught between his loyalty to Roxanne and his love for me and, I assume, his siblings. His father…well, that’s a different story. “But Mom, this is Roxanne's choice. Not any of ours.”

“I know, my dear,” I say softly, reaching out to touch his hand. “And I respect her right to tell it. But character assassination, even unintentional, could lead to legal troubles.”

He sighs, his eyes filled with conflict. “I don't want to ask her to change anything. This is important to her.”

I still have more to say, and I really want a promise that he will at least attempt to have our names left out of Roxanne’s book, but Andries holds up a hand before I can say anything. “Don’t. Let’s change the subject before this becomes an argument.”

Feeling tangled up with nowhere to go, I can’t do anything but agree. “That’s fine with me.”

“Speaking of lawsuits, thank you for everything. I'm glad the prosecutor dropped the charges against Roxie.”

I know how much the charges against his future wife have been hanging over them, and it must feel incredible to have all of that pressure gone. It must be nice. I wish I could find some peace, too. Before I have a chance to respond, though, Andries continues, his attention shifting to Karl, the man that has so royally messed things up for every one of us. “Are they coming after Karl? After all, he's the one who orchestrated the whole thing.”

He’s not going to like my answer, but I give him the truth anyway. “I don't think Gabi will go after anyone from what I understand.”

I had to pull in some major favors to get everything dropped against Roxie, and I had hoped that it’d be the last I had to hear about all of that mess. Apparently not.

Andries isn't satisfied with my answer, and I can understand why. He throws up his hands in exasperation.“So we're gonna let that piece of shit get away with it? Again?” His tone is louder than before, as if rage is building in him like a bonfire. “He's a criminal, not to mention a fucking rapist and should be in jail. But instead, he’s still the head of a department at Dad’s company and plotting behind our backs to ruin my fiancée's hard work at the same time.”

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