Page 18 of Sebastian.

As I walk with Hannah back outside, after saying our goodbyes to her cousin, I can't shake off the tension between us. Her responses are short and defensive, leaving me wondering what's really going on in her mind. I decide to take a chance. “So, how is Johan? I saw the two of you walking in the garden.”

When I inquire about Johan, her attitude changes, and she brushes it off as if it means nothing. But she can’t fool me. I saw the way she looked at him, and it worries me. Hannah is still so young, and Johan is her sister's former crush—this could lead to more family issues, and I don't want that for any of us.

“Uh, he’s fine, I guess? Why are you asking?”

I might as well address the issue head-on. “My love, I saw how smitten you were with him out there. You can be honest with me.”

She shrugs, aloof, pretending it's not a big deal. “He's fun to be around and to talk to, that's all. It’s not like there’s a ton of people to hang out with here anyway.”

I know there's more to it, and I gently press further. “He might be fun, but he also used to be Elise's crush, remember? She was very much in love with him.”

Hannah pauses, her expression softening a bit. “El moved on and is with Dan now. I’m sure she doesn’t have feelings for Johan at this point. Her and Dan seem pretty serious.”

I nod, understanding her point. “I get that, but that doesn't mean you should flirt with him. It could complicate things.”

Hannah heaves a sigh in frustration. “I'm not flirting, Mom. We just get along well.”

As we continue walking, she changes the subject abruptly. “Is it true that you and Dad are gonna get a divorce?”

I'm taken aback by her question. “Who told you that?”

Her response is simple. “Elise.”

I look at my daughter out of the corner of my eye, and make the difficult decision to be honest with her. I don’t think she’s been totally forthcoming with me about Johan, but maybe I can set the right example for her here and now. That doesn’t make it any easier for me to say, though, and the words stick in my mouth even as I say them. “I'm thinking about it, yes. But don't worry, darling, we'll figure things out.”

She surprises me by stopping in her tracks, hugging me quickly and squeezing tight. “Gosh, Mom, I’m so so sorry.” She pulls away, straightening her dress, and I can see a hint of color in her cheeks. The hug was spontaneous, and I think it surprised her as much as it did me.

“What if you guys just take a break instead?” she asks.

My brows instantly lift in surprise at her odd question. “A break?”

“Yeah, like for a year or so, and then get back together,” she explains.

I appreciate her concern and creativity in finding a solution, but every minute that Sebastian is absent from the reception is another reason for us to separate…another little bit of time that reminds me how little my husband must love me, to abandon me like this. “I'll talk to your dad about it. We'll see what happens. But I promise you, no matter what, everything will be alright.”

I smile at Hannah, hoping to reassure her. It's evident that she's worried about the family, and I don't want her carrying that burden. She's still young, and she should be enjoying her brother's wedding without these heavy thoughts on her mind. The possibility of our family falling apart leaves me feeling like a failure as a mother, and having to explain it to Hannah only makes those feelings multiply.

I reach out to gently squeeze her arm, trying to convey love and support. “Hannah, I want you to know that no matter what happens, your dad and I will always be here for you. We will always love you, and our love for you will never change, no matter what.”

Hannah blinks a few times, and then shrugs nonchalantly. “Oh, that's alright, I couldn’t have cared less if you guys split up. Seriously, most of my friends don't even have married parents anyways. As long as I have Luna, I'm fine.”

Her response catches me off guard, and I struggle to process her words. It’s true that divorce is more common nowadays, and I know many families that navigate through it just fine. But to hear my daughter speak so casually about it makes me question if I've somehow failed to create a stable and secure environment for her. On one hand, I'm glad that she seems unfazed by the idea of her father and me getting a divorce. It's a relief to know that she's not burdened with the weight of our marital issues; but on the other, I’m shaken that she’s so aloof about it all.

“Luna? The guinea pig?” I ask, trying to understand what she means.

“Yeah, she's the best. If I ever move out, I want to take her with me,” Hannah says, her tone sounding almost dreamy as she envisions her future living on her own.

I’m absolutely baffled by this response, and struggle to voice a response. “Well, Luna is a wonderful companion, and I'm sure she’d love to remain in your care. But remember, we are your family, and we love you. And we will always be here for you, no matter what.”

Hannah gives me a small smile, and I can see a glimmer of her old self in her eyes. “I know, Mom. Thanks.”

I pull her into a hug, the second in a span of five minutes, holding her close for a moment. My heart aches with the weight of the decisions we must make as a family, but right now, all I can do is be there for my daughter and remind her that she is loved unconditionally.

With that, Hannah pulls away and heads to her seat with Elise, Dan, and Johan. I return to my own place at the head table while my mind whirls with thoughts like a hurricane. The weight of the future presses down, threatening to suffocate any positivity that tries to rear its head inside of me. How did we come to this point? How does our love, once so strong and vibrant, now feel like a fragile thread on the verge of snapping?

My soul aches at the thought of my children caught in the crossfire of our crumbling marriage. Will they understand? Will they process it well? Hannah seems weirdly unbothered, but maybe her attitude is just a shield to protect herself from hurt. I wish I had all the answers, but right now, all I have are doubts and uncertainties.

Mom must sense my inner turmoil when I sit down next to her, because she immediately gives me her full attention. “Did you find my wayward granddaughter?”

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