Page 16 of Sebastian.

Gabi’s voice fades into the background while I grapple with a few different feelings all at the same time—proud of my daughter's blossoming into a young woman yet concerned about the implications of her infatuation with Johan. He's Elise’s first crush, and the idea of Hannah being drawn to him feels both awkward and unsettling. Their age difference wouldn’t be significant if they were both in their twenties, but Johan is too old for Hannah at this time in their lives, and I just don’t know how Elise will handle it. She seems completely happy with Dan, but it might still hurt her feelings to know her little sister had a thing for her first love.

Lost in my thoughts, I realize that I've been tuning out everything else when Gabi snaps her fingers and asks, slightly annoyed, “Julia? Are you even listening?”

Gabi's voice brings me back to the present. I quickly refocus on our conversation, trying to push away the distractions that linger in my mind. “Yes, sorry. This day has just been a lot.”

She smiles understandingly, any annoyance quickly fading. “I bet! Your first child’s wedding. It’s a big occasion.”

We continue to chat, but after a few minutes, my curiosity gets the better of me, and I glance over to check on Hannah and Johan once more. To my surprise, they have vanished from my sight. I wonder where they went and if everything is alright. Should I be concerned?

Deciding to search for them, I excuse myself from Gabi's company and head back to the white tent where the tables are arranged for the wedding reception. I scan the crowd, looking for any sign of Hannah and Johan, but they remain elusive.

Feeling a sense of urgency, I take out my phone and call Hannah, hoping she'll answer and assure me that everything is fine. However, there's no response, and anxiety begins to gnaw at me. I try to remain composed, telling myself that Hannah is a responsible and level-headed young woman. Still, the worry persists.

My eyes dart around the garden, trying to catch a glimpse of my daughter’s familiar figure. The vibrant ambiance of the celebration seems to dim as my concern grows. I spot Elise and Dan standing in a loose circle with Lili and Robin, and make my way over to them, not even bothered that I’m interrupting.

“Have you four seen Hannah anywhere?” I ask, reluctant to mention Johan also being gone in front of Elise. If I’m just imagining things, and Hannah doesn’t care about Johan at all, there's no reason to stir things up between the sisters.

I can't help but notice how they seem unfazed by my concern. Elise and Dan shake their heads, indicating they don't know Hannah's whereabouts either, and continue chatting with Lili and Robin. I'm tempted to press them further, but I don't want to spoil the festive atmosphere with my worries. I push down a wave of annoyance. Of course no one else is worried, Hannah is fifteen, not a child. She’s able to take care of herself.

“Where could they be?” I mutter to myself, my mind racing with various scenarios. Have they simply wandered off to explore the beautiful gardens, or is there something more serious afoot? I try not to let my imagination run wild, but the uncertainty leaves me feeling on edge.

Taking a deep breath, I remind myself that Hannah is a responsible and capable young woman. She's grown into a mature and sensible individual, at least for her age, and I have to trust that she'll make the right decisions. It isn’t that I don’t trust Hannah…it’s more that I remember what young love feels like and how overpowering it feels, and all I can do right now is hope that she and Johan are behaving themselves. She is still underage, after all. As much as I am fond of Johan, I don’t necessarily trust the allure of being young and at a wedding.

As a mother, I will always worry. It’s just a fact of life. I worry about their safety, but also about their hearts.

Deciding to give them a little more time, I return to the main gathering area where the tables are set, awaiting the serving of food.

The guests around me are engaged in conversation, laughter, and celebration. I try to put on a smile, not wanting to draw attention to my concerns. Many congratulate me on my son’s marriage, while others are clearly trying to decipher where it is that Sebastian could be.

Soon, Roxanne and Andries make their way through the crowd, and the atmosphere fills with excitement and applause. I join in, clapping and cheering for the newlyweds. The joyous energy of the moment is infectious, and for a brief moment, I'm able to forget my worries.

As the celebrations continue, I keep an eye out for any sign of Hannah and Johan. I feel a tug at my heartstrings, hoping they're having a good time and staying safe. I find myself glancing at my phone more frequently, hoping for a message or a call from Hannah, but the silence persists.

I try to remain composed, reminding myself that it's a happy occasion. My son and his wife are here at the table with me, and I know it’s time to put Hannah out of my mind for the time being. Still, it's hard to shake off the nagging concern.

Andries and Roxanne both look thrilled, and even more than that, content. This has been a long race for them, and a grueling one, but now it is finished. They’re officially married, and there’s no way for the world to try and tear them apart anymore. It must be such a relief. They never take their hands or eyes off each other, keeping some sort of connection even as they greet and talk to all of the guests.

Finally, the newlyweds settle into their seats and everyone else does the same. Before the food can come out, though, Andries stands and holds his glass in the air. The reception goes quiet, everyone’s attention focused on my son.

“Ladies and gentlemen, family and friends, I stand before you today with a heart brimming with gratitude and joy. Thank you all for being here, for joining us in celebrating this momentous occasion and witnessing our union. First and foremost, I want to express my deepest gratitude to Oma Margaret for hosting this wonderful event at her estate.” Andries isn’t looking at anyone as he says this part of his toast I notice, and now that I look, I can see the placard at the empty seat next to me bears my mother’s name. She’s supposed to be here, but she isn’t.… First Hannah and now Mom? Where the hell is everyone? Noticing her absence too, Andries switches his gaze back to the guests sitting in front of him, and continues his speech. “Oma has always been our family's unwavering matriarch. Even when I felt like I had no one to turn to in this world, she was always there for me. I feel incredibly fortunate to have her in my life.”

The groom isn’t deterred, though, and turning to his left side, he says, “Next, I want to extend my heartfelt thanks to Yao, who has welcomed me into the family with open arms. Your warmth and kindness have made me feel like a part of the family from the very beginning, and I’m grateful for the acceptance you've shown me.”

Yao, who is sitting beside the bride, lowers her head in acknowledgement, her eyes misty. Roxanne reaches out to take her mother’s hand, leaning her head briefly on her shoulder.

“To my dear sister Elise and my steadfast friend, Dan, thank you for the amazing trip to Capri. It was an unforgettable experience, and I cherish the memories we made together. Your love and support mean the world to me, and I am grateful for everything you have done for me. I know I had my melancholy moments there in Capri, but Dan doesn’t call me the brooding poet for nothing.” Everyone laughs, especially Dan, and I see him covertly brush a tear from his eye when he thinks no one is looking.

“And now, I come to the one of the most important people in my life—my dear mom, Julia.” I startle when Andries says my name, looking up at my son with wide eyes while he continues. “You have been my rock, my confidante, and my biggest supporter throughout my life. Today, I'm reminded of the love and strength you've shown me, and I cherish the bond we share. I know things haven’t been easy, but you’ve sacrificed so much for me, even today, and I want you to know I will appreciate it forever. Mom, your unwavering love and guidance have shaped me into the man I am today, and I am honored to have you beside me on this special day.”

I’m overcome with emotion, my throat so tight I can barely speak. Andries pauses in his speech, reaching down to offer me a hand, which I take happily. He wraps me in his arms so much taller than I am, and it’s all I can do not to break down and weep openly in front of our entire family and all our friends.

His heartfelt words and the genuine love in his eyes bring tears to my own. “I love you, my dear boy,” I whisper back, trying to compose myself as everyone applauds.

“Love you too, Mom,” and I can tell that he’s affected by all of this just as much. Although I didn’t want to be the center of attention at all, it’s worth it for this beautiful moment with my oldest child. From a tiny baby to this handsome, confident man, I’ve loved him unconditionally through every bit of his life.

Once Andries takes a drink of water to settle himself, he finishes his toast. “As we embark on this new chapter in our lives, I want to express my love and appreciation to each and every one of you. Your presence today means everything. I raise my glass to all of you, to the friendships and love that surround us, and to the bright future that lies ahead. Cheers!”

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