Page 47 of Sebastian.

Like mentioning her name summons her, Pablo rounds the corner, leading my mare with him. Elise's gaze lingers on Star, a fondness on her pretty face. “Star still looks amazing. You two are going to have a blast.”

Pablo finishes saddling up Star, and I step forward, my hand finding its place on her neck. “You ready, girl?” I whisper, feeling the connection between us as tangible as the leather beneath my fingers.

As I get ready to mount Star, I spare a glance at Elise and Dan. Elise’s confidence radiates like a beacon, her posture already indicating a deep connection with her horse. And then there's Dan, his determination evident in the way he steadies himself for the ride ahead.

Ember, fiery and spirited, paws the ground with a restless energy that mirrors Elise's excitement. Rusty, calm and steady, stands as a reassuring presence for Dan. Reassuring…and maybe a bit boring. But there’s nothing wrong with that.

“We're all set,” Peter announces, giving Star’s saddle a final adjustment.

I meet Elise's gaze, and we share a knowing smile—a silent exchange of love. And as I swing into the saddle, the world seems to fall into place, the past merging with the present. Star and I are a team, a pair of old friends.

Turning my gaze toward Pablo, I grab his attention before he can disappear to continue his daily tasks. “Pablo, could you take a picture of us?”

“Oh, yes! That’s such a good idea!” Elise gushes. “Let’s go out into the sun and get a really good one.”

The sun is shining as we ride our horses out of the stables, a rush of excitement tingling through me. Star moves beneath me with a comfortable rhythm. Elise, on Ember, is all smiles beside me. “This is so awesome, Mom,” she says, her enthusiasm infectious. “I didn’t even think to invite you, but I’m glad you invited yourself.”

I glance at her, matching her grin. “Absolutely,” I reply, feeling a surge of happiness for this simple joy.

Dan trails behind us on Rusty. He's focused on the ride, determination evident in his posture. It's clear that this is more of a casual ride for him, a chance to unwind and enjoy the moment. When we find a picturesque spot in the gardens, Elise pulls out her phone. “Pablo, can you snap that pic of us on this?”

Pablo gives a thumbs-up and lines up the shot. Star’s reins rest comfortably in my hand as we pose. The camera clicks, freezing this moment in time––a snapshot of us, two generations of riders.

“Got it!” Pablo exclaims, and Elise's phone lights up with the captured memory.

I breathe a sigh of satisfaction, my heart feeling light. This photo is a reminder of the good times, the laughter, the connection with our horses, and the bond we share as a family.

“Nice one, Elise.” My voice's filled with affection when she comes close, leaning over to show me the picture.

As we continue our ride, we leave the gardens and head for the forest path. The wind whispers through the trees, broken up by the sound of hooves on the packed dirt. In this moment, I'm grateful for the simplicity of riding, for the shared experience, and for the reminder that life's best moments are often the ones where we're connected to each other and the world around us.

When we get deeper into the woods, the air carries the fragrant perfume of wildflowers, mingling with the earthy aroma of damp soil. Light from above dances through the leaves in patches of gold, casting dappled shadows on the path before us. It really is lovely out here. The distant call of a bird, the whisper of leaves stirred by a passing breeze, and the occasional rustle of unseen creatures, all weaving a serenade that resonates with the rhythm of life.

While the three of us navigate the forest track, I steal glances at my daughter and her boyfriend. Elise’s joy is palpable, etched in the curve of her smile and the radiant sparkle in her eyes. Dan, too, seems immersed in the moment, listening to what Elise has to say like her words are the most important thing he’s ever heard.

And then there's me––the woman in the middle of her own emotional turmoil, trying to escape it for a moment with this ride. The horses carry us forward, and the trail of my thoughts follows a different trajectory. I find myself retracing the steps that brought me here––the choices, the sacrifices, and the heartaches. My marriage, once the cornerstone of my world, now stands on a precipice, its future uncertain and fragile.

And yet, despite the looming shadows that dance at the edges of my consciousness, I'm struck by an overwhelming sense of gratitude. Gratitude for the winding path that led me to this point, for the moments that unfolded in its wake. It's a bittersweet realization––that even in the midst of turmoil, my journey has yielded the most beautiful fruits: my children.

Again, I turn to watch as Elise's laughter mingles with the sound of the forest, her joy a testament to the resilience of youth. She’s not carrying the weight of having turned down her father’s internship, or her parents' possible divorce. She’s just here, living life as it happens. I want to be more like her in my daily life, because in this moment, it's easy to let go––to release the weight of expectations and simply be.

With Elise and Dan riding alongside me, laughter and conversation flowing effortlessly, I'm hit with a sudden realization: If I had the chance to do it all over again, marriage, mistakes, and all, I'd do it just to have my incredible children. They've been the true treasures of my journey, the source of countless joys and proud moments.

Looking back, there were days when my relationship with Sebastian felt like navigating a maze. But the laughter, the shared dreams, the early mornings and late nights––it’s all part of the intricate mosaic that brought us here. I miss him…and admitting that, I'm struck by another truth: I'd do it again just to relive those happy moments, even if they were always leading us here.

The wind ruffles my hair, and I let out a soft sigh. It's surprising, really. Despite the ups and downs, the twists and turns, I can't deny that I still love him. Maybe not in the same way, because we aren’t the same people that we were, but there's a warmth in my heart that refuses to fade.

I miss my husband, and I love him. I refuse to be ashamed of it, even if I should be.

“Everything okay, Mom?” Elise calls out, breaking me out of my reverie.

I glance at her and offer a reassuring smile. “Yeah, just lost in thought.”

She chuckles. “You're not the only one. Riding has a way of doing that.”

Dan joins in, a playful grin on his face. “We're a trio of daydreamers. Too bad our favorite daydreamer, Andries, isn’t here to partake.”

We share a laugh, the sound blending seamlessly with the surroundings. I steal another glance at my daughter, her features softened by the sunlight. She’s a perfect blend of her father and I. It's strange how life takes unexpected turns, how time can reshape relationships and priorities.

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