Page 58 of Love Is…?

“Kissing really does a number on our vocabulary.”

Jayde laughed, then pulled Tessa close. Holding her, one hand at the back of her head, the other with quiet fingers resting on her ribs.

“We’re not pretending any more, are we?” Jayde murmured.

Tessa tightened her arms around Jayde’s waist. It was a moment before she answered.

“No.”

“What do you want to do?”

Tessa pulled away, arms loosening, hands arriving on Jayde’s hips. “I don’t know. You confuse me. This confuses me.”

Jayde nodded, then quirked her lips. “You’re not the only one.”

Tessa slid her hands up to Jayde’s waist then back to her hips, then repeated the movement. She stared at Jayde’s collar, leaned forward, and inhaled deeply. “I want to rip your clothes off.”

Jayde’s eyebrows shot up.

Pulling back and seeing Jayde’s expression, Tessa giggled. “Metaphorically. I mean…”

“Metaphorically is really nice.” Jayde reached for Tessa’s hands and swung them in between their bodies. “So, it turns out that I don’t want to, even metaphorically.”

Tessa jerked. “Oh! Oh, God, I’m such an idiot. Of course! Why would you want?—”

“Yet I do want to.”

Tessa frowned. “But you said…”

“I would rip your clothes off, Tess, any day of any week. Right now, in fact. As in not metaphorically. You’re incredibly hot.”

Even in the dark, Jayde caught Tessa’s blush, which was adorable. She leaned forward and dropped a quick kiss on Tessa’s lips, then lingered, ensuring that Tessa felt Jayde’s smile. Then she continued.

“Isn’t that what these lessons are for? Because even though we’re not pretending anymore.” Jayde bit her lip, another gesture Tessa seemed to appreciate greatly. “I still want to keep going with the teaching sessions. You’ve convinced me to try romancing someone.” She chuckled. “You’ll have to wave pom poms from the sidelines while I stumble my way through it, but for the first time, I want to let someone touch my heart before they touch my body. Before we touch each other.”

Tessa’s eyes glistened in the light from the houses, then her lips parted. “That…that is the sexiest sentence.”

Jayde laughed. “Good. I’m getting the hang of this romance caper.” But her laugh felt hollow. She didn’t want Tessa cheering from the sidelines. She wanted Tessa to be right there at the front. Tessa would never believe her if Jayde screeched to a halt, declared herself an advocate of love and announced that Tessa was Jayde’s person.

“So.” Tessa’s gaze returned to Jayde’s collar. “You’re saying that even though we’ve admitted that we’re attracted to each other, and we kiss, you think we should keep up our lessons.” She inhaled deeply again. “That sounds sensible. We both haveyears of learning to cram into a very short period of time.” Tessa smiled, then darted her gaze about, over Jayde’s shoulder, eventually catching Jayde’s eyes. “We can be attracted to each other and kiss and still pick up or romance other people.” She nodded emphatically.

Jayde slowly pulled away, nodding as well. Like she agreed wholeheartedly. Absolutely. Not a doubt. She swallowed the lump in her throat. What rubbish. Tessa said she wanted to rip Jayde’s clothes off, albeit metaphorically. Jayde said she’d romance another person. Tessa said that picking up was still on her to-do sheet. Fine. Good.

“Jayde,” Tessa began, her gaze now locked. “We’ve acknowledged something tonight but both of us know we’re on two different roads. Roads which both of us take seriously. You don’t do long term and I don’t do overnight. This challenge, whatever it is, is meant to be fun. It is fun. I’m having fun being with you for our lessons. Sure, we kiss, and yes, it’s not pretend, but it’s still just for fun, so let’s keep doing that.” She smiled, although it seemed like a smile that had to work hard to be authentic. Jayde nodded again.

“Sure. That sounds like a plan. Sounds good. Good plan.” Jayde was blathering, so she forced herself to pause. “I like the way we kiss.”

Tessa squeezed Jayde’s hands. “Me, too.”

Then Jayde’s heart looked on in sadness as the conversation finished and the opportunity to tell Tessa about the other not-pretend feelings she had was lost.

While the texts,and the phone calls, and the random visits during the next two weeks remained flirty, and fun, Jayde felt like a small wall had been erected between them.

“Sucks,” she said to the laptop screen, as she stabbed the delete key because it was much more satisfying than highlighting the entire section and making it disappear in one motion.

She knew Tessa was right. They’d had a couple of amazing, bone-melting, sex-flooding kisses which didn’t mean much in the greater scheme of things. She was still prepared to take Tessa toQueerBeersand act as her wingwoman. She was still prepared to take a woman other than Tessa on a date. No, she wasn’t. That was a big lie. She wanted to date Tessa exclusively, which was astonishing because she’d spent so long with her heart locked away that to have it break free in a month was ridiculous.

“Her fault,” she informed the screen, then bunched her lips. “My fault.” Then stabbed at the delete key again. “Nobody’s fault. We’re just too scared to let our hearts introduce themselves over our fences.”

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