Page 62 of The Kiss Principle

“You have got to be shitting me,” Lou said and disconnected.

I dropped the phone on the passenger seat and drove out of the city.

The drive, in theory took six hours, but it ended up being almost seven and a half because first there was roadwork, and then there was an accident that shut the 5 down to a single lane, and apparently everybody and their mother had to be in Oakland today because the closer I got to the city, the worse the congestion became, until the freeway was a parking lot. I pulled off and, because Zé wasn’t there to say no, I got a massive burger with bacon and mayo and I picked the lettuce off. Large fries. I only ate half of it and then I felt sick.

When I called him, he picked up on the first ring. “Is everything okay?”

“I ate this thing called a Bacon Slayer.”

His silence ran for five seconds. Then ten. And then, like a miracle, I could hear the smile in his voice as he said, “You’re out of my sight for one day, Fernando.”

“I had to tell you.”

“Was it good?”

“Yes. And then it was disgusting. And now I’m disgusting, and I think I’m going to puke.”

“Let me guess: large fries.”

I laughed. And then I said, “I didn’t like how we left things.”

“Neither did I.”

“I know you were looking out for me.”

“No, I was out of line.” Zé’s breathing sounded funny. “I don’t like seeing you unhappy.”

“I’m not. I mean, I’m pissed. But I’m fine.”

But even as I said it, I thought: that empty bed in that empty room in that empty house, and all the years I could see stretching ahead of me, and what it had been like before Igz, before Zé.

Zé still hadn’t said anything.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

“Fine,” he said.

“I’m sorry I ruined your weekend.”

“You didn’t ruin my weekend, Fernando.”

“I’m sorry you have to watch Igz today. I’ll pay you double or overtime or whatever it’s called.”

“Do you want to think carefully about what you just said to me?”

“Uh, thank you for doing it out of the goodness of your heart?”

He muttered something likeMeu deus.

“Thank you,” I said. “And I’ll find a way to make it up to you.”

“I’ve got an idea about that,” he said, and I laughed again. “It’s fine, I promise,” he added. “Your mom offered to watch Igz while I run some errands.”

“God, don’t let her give Igz eyelash extensions.”

Zé laughed.

“You think I’m joking,” I said.

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