Page 24 of The Kiss Principle

Bea and I continued texting, which was something of a minor miracle. Before long, we’d agreed to meet, and to my surprise, Bea suggested dinner.

“I thought she’d want to do coffee,” I told Zé as I buttoned up a shirt. He lounged on the bed, tickling Igz’s stomach as she lay next to him. “Why would she pick dinner?”

“Because she likes you.”

“But she’s never met me. What if I’m an asshole?”

“What if.”

“What the fuck was that?”

Zé pulled up the collar of his Rip Curl tee to hide a smile.

Examining myself in the mirror, I said, “This looks terrible, right?” I started to undo the buttons. “This is a disaster.”

With one last tickle for Igz’s tummy, Zé stood. He flicked through the clothes in my closet, sliding the hangers along the rod. He glanced at me as I slid out of my shirt, and then his eyes went back to the closet. Then he pulled out an oxford. The front pocket and the collar were a different color than the rest of the shirt; there was probably a name for that kind of thing.

“Where are your dark jeans?”

“What dark jeans?”

“Oh my God, Fernando.”

He rummaged through my dresser—mercifully skipping the underwear drawer—and tossed me a different pair of jeans. Then he grabbed Igz and stepped out of the room. I changed into the jeans. I buttoned up the shirt. I checked myself in the mirror. I didn’t look like I was going to embarrass myself, but hey, I hadn’t had a chance to open my mouth yet.

I found Zé in the living room. He was putting Igz in the car seat, explaining to Mom how the buckles and straps worked.

“What’s going on?”

“I’m going out for a quick bite with the girls,” Mom said. “They are going to die. You know Sara’s daughter can’t have a baby, right?”

“Real nice, Mom.”

“I think I’m going to call her Ava. Do you like that, Ava?”

“Her name isn’t Ava. It’s Igz. And I don’t want you taking her to a bar.”

“We’re not going to a bar. We’re going to a perfectly lovely bistro. You’re going to love it, aren’t you, Ava?”

“Igz,” I said. “You said you were going to stay home. You said you were going to watch her so I could go out.”

“I am going to watch her, Fernando. I’m taking her with me, aren’t I?”

“I don’t want other people holding her.”

“Oh my God.”

“I don’t want them to get her sick. I don’t want your weird friends breathing on her and touching her and getting in her face.”

“Your uncle is rude sometimes,” Mom said to Igz. “It’s because he’s nervous about his date.”

“I’m not nervous,” I said. “I don’t want them vaping around her either. She’s got sensitive lungs.”

“Ava and I are going to my room,” Mom said. “Until a certain grumpypants leaves.”

And, true to her word, she picked up Igz in the car seat and carried her down the hall.

“I know you heard me about the vaping,” I called after her.

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