Page 65 of The Kiss Principle

“Zé calls her Igz. And don’t get me started; I already know it’s a stupid nickname.”

“Igz. I like it.” A grin flashed and went out. “Zé’s the nanny?”

“Yeah. He’s good with Igz.”

Chuy turned his head, his expression unreadable as he studied me. But what he said was “So, Mom and Cannon?”

“Jesus fucking Christ, it’s a fucking shitshow.”

That made him laugh.

“Are they really going to get married?”

“Who knows? One minute, they’re screaming at each other, the next—” I made a gagging noise. “He’s not even half her age, the little pisser, but he bought her a ring. I guess if she doesn’t fuck things up like she always does, it might actually happen.”

“What are you going to do with all that free time on your hands? Take Gus-Gus to Disneyland?”

I flipped him the bird, but he grinned. “Apparently, I’m going to raise your child, you giant badger-fuck.”

“No, Fer. I don’t want you to—I’ll figure it out.”

“Uh huh.”

“I mean, you’re definitely going to have to help.”

“There it is.”

“Probably do most of the heavy lifting.”

“Sure,” I said. “Why the fuck not?”

“First thing, though is get rid of that manny. Mom does not like that guy.”

It took a moment for the words to process—for me to wrap my head around the fact that, for some reason, Mom had talked to Chuy about Zé. “Get rid of Zé? Are you shitting me? Zé’s the only reason this family isn’t a flaming shit-fire.”

“Aren’t all fires flaming?”

“What the fuck did Mom say about him? Zé is a fucking saint. What’s wrong with him? Tell me one fucking way he’s not perfect.”

“Whoa.” Chuy tried for a laugh, but it fell off uneasily. “Cool it. I’m not the one talking shit about your boyfriend.”

“He’s not my boyfriend!”

The words came out too loud and too fast, and I heard the half-buried shrillness of my panic.

Chuy’s eyes got huge.

I sank into my seat.

“Holy shit.”

I shook my head.

“Holy fucking shit. Are you kidding me? You’re banging the babysitter?”

“We’re not banging, jack-hole!”

Although, I mean, technically...

---