Page 51 of Puck & Make Up

My cheeks heat. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

Rosie rolls her eyes and glances at Bailey. “What do we think of that?”

“More lying,” Bailey says dryly. “And it’s like she’s not even putting any real effort into it.”

I scowl. “You guys?—”

“We’ve given you a lot of rope,” Rosie says, as though I didn’t speak. “And I don’t mean what’s happening with Fox. That’s…well, that’s a story for another day and although I want the details at some point?—”

Details of how much I fucked up?

Yeah,thoseI can provide.

“—that’s not the most important thing right now.”

“It’s enough, Des.” Bailey leans forward, takes my other hand, dragging me away from Rosie and back over to the couch, drawing me down to sit next to her. “You need to spill it and let us help you through whatever’s hurting you like you’ve helped us through our bullshit. We’re your best friends and?—”

“I’m in love with Fox.”

The total blurt has them both freezing, but Billie Rose recovers first. “Excuse me?”

“I—I—” Goddamn it. “I know you said you could wait on the details, but the truth is that I’ve told Fox everything,” I whisper. “About my exes and about my ex-fiancé—” I squeeze Bailey’s hand, glance over at Rosie, my tone an apology. “I haven’t been good about sharing with you and you both deserve better. I just…I was ashamed that I kept choosing so poorly, ashamed that I dated a man who fucked with my job, and even more ashamed when I realized that I hadn’t wanted the job in the first place.”

“Why would you be ashamed that some asshole hurt you?” Bailey asks softly. “Or that you didn’t want to keep working at the station?”

I want to lock down these feelings, want to pretend I’m fine and the shame isn’t there, but it is.

And…I need to be done hiding.

“I was supposed to leave River’s Bend and kick ass. Supposed to be fearless and break barriers and save lives.”

Rosie’s fingers tighten around mine. “But you did all of that.”

My chest loosens. “Yeah,” I say. “I guess I did. I just…”

“Didn’t love it,” she murmurs.’

“No,” I agree. “I think I held on so tight to this idea for so long, it seemed like a failure to admit it wasn’t for me.”

Bailey’s mouth kicks up. “I feel that.”

“Word,” Rosie adds, coming over to sit next to me.

“Really?” I ask.

They both nod.

“I felt pathetic that I was relieved that Jett cheated on me—it gave me an excuse to leave,” I add when their brows drag together.

“But notonlythat,” Rosie says.

I still.

“Or am I wrong?”

I wrinkle my nose and glance at Bailey. “Why is she always right?”

“It’s a skill,” she says, buffing her knuckles on her shoulder.

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