Page 10 of Lost in Me

After meeting her ex today, I can put the puzzle together as to why. She is guarded for a reason, but I will break down her walls. I will show her that not all men are like Jesse or my birth father, for that matter. That there are good men who can treat her right, and I am one of those men, or at least I am going to try and be for her. I have a lot of work to do on myself to even begin to deserve her, but I can try the best I can right now.

I know she has asked for my protection. She never asked for what I am trying to do, but I know deep down she wants me. I can see it in her eyes. I felt it in our kiss. She could have pushed me away. She could have said no, but she didn’t, and that means she does want this. She wants me, and that is exactly what she is going to get.

Her words hit me like a thousand knives. They hurt and take me by surprise. Does she honestly fucking believe that? I lean into her more. My lips are less than an inch away from hers. She keeps her eyes on me as I take a deep breath. She challenges me in so many fucking ways.

“Is that what he told you?” I ask softly. He doesn’t deserve a name. He doesn’t even deserve to be in her thoughts right now. But here we are, and even though I know she wants to run, I will help her face whatever this is. She is not a prisoner anymore. She is free to do whatever and whoever she wants.

Her ex doesn’t get to come back and take her away from me. Not now that we have finally gotten to this point. It has taken years for me to give in to wanting her, and now that the door is open, like I told her and warned her, the door is not going to shut, and she can’t escape me now.

Her eyes rapidly search mine. “No, that is what he taught me, Shawn. No one will ever love me, and why would they? I don’t deserve to be loved by someone like you,” she snaps and states with confidence.

What the fuck did he do to her? There must be more than what is in her file, and maybe one day she will trust me enough to tell me all of it.

My heart sinks at her words. The exact same words came out of my mother’s mouth when she met my stepfather. The man I now call Father.

I drop my hands from the wall and gently cup her face, making sure she can’t turn away from me. “That is not true, Emory. You hear me. What he taught you is not real,” I state through gritted teeth. Men like her ex and my birth father deserve nothing but to fucking die. It is the whole reason I opened the center. To give back. To give women like my mother and Emory a safe place.

I see the tears building in her eyes as she processes my words. “It feels real to me,” she whispers.

My blood is boiling with what her ex has done to her. My heart hurts for her thinking and believing his fucking lies. “Let me show you,” I whisper, watching a single tear escape her eyes and roll down her face.

“Show me what?” she asks in a curious but cautious voice. I hate her being on the fence with me. I hate that her ex has told her lie after lie, so much that she believes they are facts.

“What it can feel like to be loved in the right way,” I whisper.

Loveis a strong word, and I can’t say I love her yet, but it is fucking close. Do I believe in instant love? I don’t know. But she is making me feel something I have never felt. A feeling I am afraid of, and at the same time don’t want to disappear.

But at this moment, I can say I want her. I desire her. I want to protect her. I want to show her what she could have if she wants it.

She doesn’t respond as I lean in and connect my lips to hers. I trace my tongue along her lips, begging her in my own way to trust me and let me in. For a few moments, she stands still, but then I feel her body melt against mine as she slowly opens her mouth, allowing my tongue to enter and taste her, and fuck, she tastes so fucking sweet.

I drop my hands from her face and grab onto her legs, lifting her off the ground. She wraps her legs around my waist and wraps her arms around my neck, forcing the kiss to go deeper. I release my hold on her left leg and gently move my hand between her and me. I grab onto my dick and position the tip at her entrance. I slowly pull back, just enough to look at her.

“If at any time you want to stop, just tell me and we will stop,” I state in a stern voice. I will never make her do something she doesn’t want to do. I want her to know she always has a choice with me, and I will never, ever fucking take that choice away from her.

“Okay,” she replies softly. I can hear the anxiety and trust in her voice, and right now, that is all I can ask for.

I search her eyes for a moment before smashing my lips back against hers. I slowly push myself into her heat. I release my cock and lift my hand, resting it firmly against the shower wall as I start to slowly and gently move in and out of her. Her pussy wraps around me perfectly, forcing a moan and growl to escape me.

She is perfect in every way. Right now she is trusting me,giving in to me, allowing me to claim her. I know she is scared, I know she is uncertain, but us—her, me—this is not going to change, and I am never going anywhere. I can’t because where she goes, I will always fucking follow.

A second later, I feel her let herself go. She starts to move in the same motion as me and our naked bodies work together to take us away. She allows a moan to escape as I pick up my pace, needing more of her. She takes my cock so easily, she was made me for and I for her. She is so fucking wet. Her desire for me matches my desire for her.

Instant love, do I believe it?

Now, because of her, I do!

****

I tighten my arm around Em as she lays on my chest. Her head is positioned in such a way that she is facing me, allowing me to look down at her, allowing me to fall even more for her. Her ex fucked up, and now I plan on being the one to show her how special she is.

Her arm is stretched out across my stomach. Her legs are intertwined with mine, and her eyes are closed. I can tell she isn’t asleep, but she does feel safe enough to rest.

The last few hours we have spent together, she allowed herself to be free and let go. I know it was hard for her to let me have her, but she trusted me enough to know I wouldn’t hurt her, and it means the world to me that she allowed her guard down just enough for me to see a different side of her. A darker side of her. She is curious about sex, about the pain and pleasure I can give her. Her body gave in to me, validating that she craves what I can give her, and that is enough for now. It is enough to know she is willing to try.

“What happens now?” she whispers.

I watch her open her eyes. They are soft and gorgeous.“I protect you from him.” When she asked for my help, I was doing it because I cared about her, and no one deserves what she is going through, but now I am protecting her for more selfish reasons. I am protecting her because I want her.

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