Page 46 of Lost in Me

Shawn has thought of everything, trying to make sure what happened to me won’t ever happen again. I have faith inhim, and I have faith in Ethan and the other men we call family so our clients will stay safe.

Soon, we will need to open another set of apartments. The word is spreading about them and the center, drawing more attention to the center and to Shawn and me, which I know makes him nervous even though he won’t say it. I know what he is thinking. No matter how many men we have watching or how many cameras we put up, it will never fully take away his anxiety and worry, and I can’t blame him.

The last three years have been insane. We call our son Harlow the miracle baby. They were surprised when he survived. They were surprised when I survived. We both should have died because of what Jesse did to me in that locked room.

But we both survived. Harlow, our sweet boy, is about to turn three. He is everywhere nowadays, which makes me laugh. Once he learned how to walk, he learned how to run, and after that, he was everywhere all the time.

I still laugh when I hear Shawn chasing him around the house, with the dogs chasing Shawn chasing Harlow. It is a sight to see. Ethan and I just sit back and watch sometimes, laughing and smiling.

Our daughter Rachel will soon be two years old, which is crazy to think about because I swear I feel like I just had her yesterday. When we found out we were having a girl, I thought Shawn was going to have a heart attack. Sometimes, I still think he is going to have one.

He is always watching her, protecting her like he does me. I can only imagine how he is going to be when she is old enough to date. Oh my goodness, those poor boys will be terrified. I hold tighter onto the clipboard as I look down the list of names. I rest my free hand gently on my growing stomach. Anytime now, we will be having our third.

Shawn was happy when it was a boy. He said Rachelwould have so many men watching over her it would be insane, and I do not doubt that one bit. It took us a while to find a name we both liked, but we finally agreed on one about two weeks ago when we were leaving the doctor’s office after my checkup. The soon-to-be little one will be named Sawyer Cross. We both fell in love with it.

I take a deep breath as I put down the clipboard. I watch the client turn around and make her way down the hallway and out the front door.

“Shouldn’t you have left by now?” Sherri asks me in an amused voice. I am always the first one in and the last one out. A lot of times, Sherri has to turn off the lights in the building to get me to leave.

I enjoy giving hope to others, and since Shawn made me the CEO, I have made it my mission to ensure everything runs smoothly, including keeping my clients. I just can’t walk away from that part of the job.

“Yes, but when work calls…” I state, trying to make her laugh. I don’t need to see her face to know she is rolling her eyes at me.

“It is your wedding anniversary,” Sherri states in a stern tone, trying to let me know she means business, but honestly, it just makes me want to smile.

“I know, Sherri,” I say softly. Today is the day Shawn and I got married three years ago after I woke up in the hospital. We both couldn’t wait, so he had the nurses move my bed into the chapel, and we got married not even an hour later. It is something I will never forget.

“Well, then. Get out of here before I push you out those doors myself,” she states. She is trying to hide her amusement, but I can hear it, and it is funny because she has actually had to do that a few times. If it is not her, it is either Shawn or Ethan coming in to get me.

“Have I ever told you how pushy you are?” I ask. She really is pushy, like a mom I never asked for, but I am very grateful to her. I wouldn’t change the way she is. She cares, and that is something I didn’t have for a very long time. And now my life is filled with many people who care about me.

“Daily. But you love it,” she states, laughing.

“I do, Sherri. I really do. You good with locking up then?” I ask, but I already know the answer. If I am not the last one out, she is. It has been that way since I got out of the hospital, just like with Shawn. Sherri worries about me and is always trying to make sure I am safe.

“I got this, girl. You better go before Shawn sends a search team to find you.” She laughs at her own words.

I wouldn’t put it past my husband to do something like that.

“Sherri, you totally know he would do something like that,” I state in a concerned but amused voice. I could picture a whole SWAT team coming here.

“That is what makes it funny, Em,” she states, laughing again, making me shake my head.

I can’t help but laugh as I make my way around the counter and down the hallway toward the front doors. When I get to the doors, I push them open and take a few steps outside, and that is when I see him.

Shawn Cross. My husband, my savior, my anchor, my everything.

He is leaning against his black Mustang. His arms are crossed over his chest. He is wearing his normal black slacks and dress shoes, with a black button-up shirt, unbuttoned at the top, showing off part of his chest tattoo. He is as gorgeous as he was the first time I laid eyes on him, and after all these years, he can still make my heart beat faster and slower at the same time. Whenever he walks into the room, he can still take my breathaway.

This man standing against his car is everything to me, and the life we have built over the last three years is something out of a fairy tale, but this fairy tale is real. He is real, and he is all mine. All the time.

I slowly make my way over to him, stopping when my stomach hits his. He looks down at me and smiles, taking my breath away.

“I thought I was going to have to go in there and take you out myself,” he states, searching my eyes. I smile back, getting all kinds of fun thoughts and ideas.

Shawn has helped me over the last three years to enjoy playing games again. I love the games he and I play. He has taught me how to enjoy life again and how not to let my past define me and control me today.

Sometimes, the nightmares come back, or I see myself in the mirror covered in knife scars, and for a moment I get lost, but just like an anchor, Shawn always brings me back and reminds me I survived and made it out, and that I never have to go back there again.

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