Page 17 of Lost in Me

He is showing me that I can do the same. That we can do this together. That we are partners. That I am not owned by him but I do belong to him. Just like he belongs to me.

“You are mine, and I am yours,” he whispers.

Before I can respond his lips are on mine again, and our bodies are in sync, moving as one, as my back continues to hit the wall. I know they can hear us, that maybe Jesse is outside of this building and maybe he can hear too, but I don’t care.

I have spent my entire life being what others wanted, and now Shawn is what I want. I want us, and even though I am still afraid, I will not let him go.

Shawn pulls back just enough to look me in the eyes as he picks up the pace. His breathing tell me he is about to come.

“Give into me,” he whispers.

“Always,” I whisper back. He leans in resting his forehead against mine as he slams into me again, and a moan leaves my lips as I tighten my grip around his neck.

Our breathing is the only thing I can hear, and his heartbeat matches the speed of mine.

Shawn slowly lowers me to the floor as I release my hands from his neck. We stand chest to chest. His eyes are still locked on mine as he leans in for a short, sweet, gentle kiss that steals my breath away.

He pulls back and smiles. That gorgeous smile. The smile he doesn’t show that often, but when he does, it lights up the entire room.

I pull back and turn around quickly, making it over to my pants and underwear. Sherri must have rescheduled my appointments. I have missed many appointments in the last two hours that I was in here, making love with Shawn.

I quickly put on my pants and underwear, buttoning up my pants. I slightly turn around and watch Shawn pull up hisboxers and slacks. His hair is falling out of the bun he had it in, but man, he is so beautiful. His muscles, his tattoos, his abs, his alpha stance. All of him is so intoxicating.

He looks up at me as he fixes his shirt and hair. I allow a smile to form across my lips as he makes his way over, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me tightly against him.

I lean into him, allowing myself to feel safe, because in this moment, I am. Once we leave this room again, that will change. Jesse is still out there. He won’t just give up, and the more time I spend with Shawn, the more I am afraid of losing him. We both used the L word, and there is no taking it back. I meant it when I said it, and I know he did too, even if no one else will understand how we can already be in love.

But that’s the thing about love. It just sneaks up on you and takes you prisoner, and when it is the right person, you never want it to let you go. Shawn is my right person. My anchor.

Chapter Eleven

Shawn

Emory is waiting for me by the counter as I check all the doors and turn off the lights. We reopened for a few more hours after the thing with Jesse happened. We were able to help more clients before it was time to call it a day. I am ready to get out of here, and I am ready to take Em home, to our home. My life is now her life, just like her life is now my life.

Today has been a shit show full of surprises, but some of the surprises were good. I gave in to my desire and finally told Em I loved her. I didn’t plan it, and honestly, part of me had to do it after seeing Jesse stand up to me. I needed to claim her in a way he couldn’t. That is the only thing I knew she stopped giving him, but after standing face to face with him and her comforting me, my emotions took over, and I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.

I haven’t said I love someone since my mother, and to this day, I still don’t say it often. It isn’t that I don’t love my mother, I do, but when I look at her, all I can see is the abuse and the stuff she and I went through together with my birth father. Since she married my stepfather, she has changed in the best way, and I am proud of her for being able to move on, but part of me can’t move on.

The things I went through as a kid are a big part of who I am today and why I wanted to open this center. I couldn’t protect my mom, so I thought maybe I could try and protect others who were going through what she did. Then I met Emory, and, man, my life has not been the same since I hired her.

And now that we have crossed over the line we created, there really is no turning back, and I don’t want to. I don’t want the door to shut between her and me, but I need to deal with her ex before he does something that can’t be undone. If anything happens to her because of him, I will lose it. I would fuckingshatter.

It was fucking terrifying to tell her I love her, but I was more terrified that she didn’t feel the same way about me. Then she said the words and my entire fucking world changed. My heart changed. This changes everything on so many different levels.

I make my way down the hallway toward Em. She is leaning against the counter, reading one of her books. She is calm and stable. We both gave in to each other in my office and now we are both able to breathe and stay calm. She is truly my Fallen Angel in every sense of the word.

She is kind, gentle, and I want to fucking corrupt her. I want to bring out the darker side of her. The side of her I see when I am inside her when she lets go and allows herself to give in to her darkest desires for me.

I love who she is, but I also love the other side of her—the side that feeds the monster in me. The monster that wants to hear her scream my name and beg me for more. The monster that wants to see the lust and love in her eyes as I take her in every way I can.

I walk up beside her, placing my hand on her lower back, a gesture I will never get tired of. Before, she might have moved away or flinched at my touch, but so far today she hasn’t. Instead, she closes her book and turns and looks up at me with her gorgeous, gentle eyes. “Everything good?” she asks me in a calm voice.

I can’t help but smile and nod. “Yes. Everything is locked up. Ready to go home?” I ask her, nervous about the words I used. Normally, people don’t make me nervous, but she does. She does a lot of things to me.

She is making me start to question everything. I watch what I say, how I say it, how I behave, and how I react to people and situations. She has made me very aware of everything I do,including the words I say to her.

She smiles and nods. “Yes, I am ready to go home.”

---