Page 6 of Lost in Me

“Yes,” he says without needing to think, just like I didn’t need to think when I took his hand and let him lead me into his office.

“Thank you,” I state softly. I feel my heart continuing torace as he keeps his hands on my knees.

“You might not want to thank me, Angel,” Shawn states in a low voice. My heart skips a beat as his nickname for me repeats over and over inside my head.

“Why?” I ask before being able to stop myself. I always seem to ask the wrong questions, and honestly, I don’t know if I want to know his answer, but I can’t take it back now. The words have already left my mouth.

“Because once the door is open to my world, you might never escape it,” Shawn answers. It sounds like a warning. A warning that should make me want to run, but it doesn’t. It makes me curious.

“I think I am okay with that,” I say softly, feeling my heart race with my words. He looks just as surprised as I am.

Chapter Four

Shawn

Em has been standing at my office door for a while now. She is afraid to come out, and I don’t blame her, but I meant what I said. That fucker is not going to touch her. I will make sure of that.

I take a deep breath as I lean in and grab her hand. She tightens her hand around mine as I lead her down the hallway. We shut down the center. Everyone else has gone home. Rumors are already spreading about what took place between the man and me at the counter, but I don’t care about the rumors. I only care about Em and getting her to my house safely. At first, she told me no about staying at my house, but I convinced her to try it.

I respect her for standing up to me and saying no. Not many people have done that. They just normally agree, but even after what happened today, I can see the other Em starting to come back. The Em that has the balls to tell me no. She is quiet and distant, but she has always been able to keep boundaries.

I take a deep breath as we walk past the empty counter toward the front entrance of the building. I can see my car. Her ex would be stupid to still be here, but then again, he doesn’t seem that smart. He has no idea who I am or what I can do, but he will soon find out that I am not afraid of him. I don’t follow the law, and I will do anything to protect someone I care about. Em doesn’t know it, but I do care about her. I just don’t show my emotions very well. Most people think I am cold and heartless, which is partly true but I do have a heart and feelings, I just heavily guard them.

I tighten my grip on her hand as I push open the front door and force us both to take a step outside. As soon as she steps outside, she grabs my arm with her free hand and tightensher grip. Her trusting me, needing me, is doing something to me that I can’t fully explain.

Usually, the people who need me are addicts who want my drugs, but this is different. She is different. She needs me to keep her safe, not get her high. She needs me to comfort her and validate her, not lie to her like I do my buyers.

I take my free hand and put it over her hand that is now on my arm. “You are okay. I am right here, Angel,” I whisper as I force us both to start making steps toward my car. She wanted to drive herself, but I won’t risk her ex seeing her driving alone. He needs to know she is with me. It is the only way I will be able to keep her safe.

I look down at Em. She is taking deep breaths as I make it to my car. I quickly release my hold on her hand and open the passenger door. I look around as she slides inside, and I shut the door.

I look over at her car, which is parked next to mine. We have been parking next to each other for years. I see some dead rose petals on her windshield and a note. I quickly walk over to her car and grab the note. When I open it, my heart drops with the few words written in black Sharpie:“If I can’t have you, no one will.”I quickly rip up the paper and throw it on the ground. This guy is really getting on my fucking nerves.

I don’t like that this guy feels ownership over her. He doesn’t own her, and his dominance is not something I will stand for. I can tell he is used to people doing as he says. He is used to people being afraid of him. I am not afraid of him, in fact, he should be afraid of me.

I turn around and look at Em. She is looking at me through the window as I make my way around my car and to the driver’s door. I open the door and slide inside. “What about my car?” she asks me.

“I will have one of my guys get it,” I state calmly. I knowall of this makes her on edge, and it also makes me on edge, but she doesn’t need to know that. Her ex has no problem challenging me and standing up to me, which I can tell will become a problem.

A man who doesn’t fear dying is a very dangerous man. I have known men like Em’s ex my entire life. They crave power and control just like I do. The only difference between me and them is that I have fucking lines I won’t cross. I will never lay my hands on a woman, unless she wants me to. I like pain with my pleasure, but I don’t have to have it if they aren’t into it.

“What about my things at my apartments?” she asks me. Her voice is calm and steady, but I can still hear the fear in her voice. I want to chase that fear away. I want her to feel safe with me, and I know she will. It will just take some time.

I sit back in my seat and look at her. Apartments? She just said apartments. Like more than one?

“Apartments?” I ask as I turn on my car and put it in “reverse.”

She slowly nods. “I switch between apartments,” she explains as if it is the most normal thing in the world. I know most of what her ex has done to her. It was all in her file I know I shouldn’t have read, but couldn’t help myself. She was such a fucking mystery, and honestly, she still is. It makes my heart hurt that she has been afraid to be in their own home.

It makes my blood boil knowing she doesn’t feel safe to the point where she can’t settle down and is always looking over her shoulder. I will show that with me, she has nothing to be afraid of. I will keep her safe, there is nothing I won’t do to ensure she has the life she deserves.

I don’t care what line I have to cross, lines mean nothing to me, laws mean nothing to me when it comes to her. When she looks at me, she sees right to my soul and doesn’t shy away. Fuck, I don’t deserve that look from her, but I am thankful for it.

I slowly nod as I back up and put the car in “drive.” I push down on the gas and quickly make my way out of the parking lot and onto the main road, heading toward my house.

We both sit in silence as I get onto the highway. One good thing about my house is I have security like a motherfucker. Her ex will not be able to touch her when she is behind those walls. I have guards and cameras. I am paranoid in every sense of the word, and right now I am validated that it is a good thing.

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