Page 38 of Lost in Me

I take a step out of the door. I see about ten of my guys standing by my car with their guns out. They have been watching the woods. I didn’t think Jesse would have men with him. His pride is too fucking high for that.

He actually believed he would get away with this and that I wouldn’t find her. That I wouldn’t make him pay. His pride and ego are what will get him killed. He is already dead.

I take a deep breath as I make my way to my car. My guy opens the back door of the car. I lean in and gently place her across the back of the car. Another one of my guys opens the other door. I watch him closely as he puts his hands under her shoulders and gently pulls her across the back seat of the car. She is completely naked. The blood has slowed down, but the wounds are open and exposed.

I take a deep breath as I remove my jacket and lay it on top of her. Her eyes are closed. Her swollen black-and-blue eyes. Her lips are cut, bleeding, and her entire face has cuts and bruises from him beating her. Her breathing is slowed. Too fucking slow. We need to get her to the hospital, but first, I have to deal with Jesse.

“I need you to take her to the hospital,” I state through gritted teeth.

“What?” my guy asks in a confused and surprised voice. He is not the only one that is surprised I don’t want to fucking leave her again, but she needs help, and I am not leaving until the job is done with Jesse.

I take a deep breath as I allow the tears to roll down my face. “Please, she is dying. Take her to the hospital. I will be there soon,” I whisper, trying to hide my fear, but I know my guy can hear it.

“Shawn,” he whispers, trying to plead with me, but nothing he says will change my mind. She needs help, and I need to stay here.

“Oliver, you need to take her now before I lose her and my unborn child,” I plead through gritted teeth. I don’t want to leave her, but I must keep my promise. I have to kill Jesse. I fucking have to.

“Okay, I will take her to the hospital. But hurry, okay?” Oliver states.

I nod. “I will,” I state with as much confidence as I can in this moment, which is not much. Everything is fucking uncertain. There are many things I don’t know. Everything is fucking out of control, but I know the one thing I can control is how Jesse dies.

I slowly stand up and look at her one more time, and then I close the door and take several steps back. Oliver gets into the driver’s seat along with another one of my men. He starts the carand pushes on the gas. I watch them disappear into the night. I fucking pray he gets her there in time.

I slowly roll up my sleeves and turn around, making my way back up the stairs and into the house that is now filled with Jesse’s screams. I make my way back down the narrow hallway, passing the picture of him and Emory. I turn and go down the stairs.

I can hear Jesse crying and screaming. I can hear Ethan and the others beating the shit out of him, just like I knew they would.

I slowly make my way into the room. Jesse is on the floor, curled up in a ball, as my men continue to beat him. I slowly make my way over to the bed. I reach down and grab the knife he was using to cut my future wife, the knife he was using to try and get her to submit.

And from what I could tell, she never gave in to him, and that is why he decided to try and kill her. She wouldn’t give him herself. So he was going to make sure I wouldn’t have her either. I look down at the bloody bed. The thoughts flooding in of what he has done to her on this fucking bed. What he has done to her in this fucking room.

We saw all the locks on the doors. I saw the chains connected to the bed, making sure she couldn’t move much. He really fucking thought of everything, or at least hethoughthe thought of everything. He underestimated me. He underestimated our love for each other, and now it will cost him his life.

“Put him on the bed,” I state, taking a small step back, making sure they have room to put the chains on his wrists and ankles.

“Make sure they are tight,” I state softly as I continue to look at the bloodstains still wet on the bed.

I can hear Ethan and the others picking Jesse off thefloor. They quickly make their way across the room and place him on the bed. He tries to fight them as they chain him to the bed.

I look down at his chest and see Emory’s name tattooed there, making my blood boil for a whole new fucking reason. The only thing he is wearing is black sweatpants. His eyes lock with mine as I take a step forward, gently touching the blade with my fingertips.

“I read about this place in her file. Read about what you did to her that sent you to prison,” I state calmly as my blood begins to boil, more thoughts flood into my mind. Her file gave me a clear picture of what Jesse put her through and what he was willing to do to keep her.

I have read a lot of files, but hers brought me to my knees in my office, and that is when I started watching her, making sure she was okay. That is when the hot and cold really started between her and me. She knew I read her file. Everyone fucking knew I read her file.

And most women would be pissed and freak out, but she didn’t. She didn’t confront me. She just allowed me to read and learn about her. It helped me understand her a lot better. It allowed me to understand why she was the way she was.

“Fuck you!” Jesse screams as he starts to struggle against the chains causing them to get tighter and tighter. He keeps his eyes locked on me as I take another step toward the bed.

“I see no shame or guilt in your eyes for what you have done,” I state. It wasn’t a question but a very blunt statement.

I am not surprised I don’t see emotions like that in his eyes, because honestly, I don’t think he feels those emotions.

“I love her. It is none of your fucking business how I show her!” he screams with confidence. Confidence that makes my stomach turn into fucking knots. It amazes me that he fucking believes the shit that comes out of his mouth. Even now, whenhe knows he will die by my hands, he doesn’t fucking change. He will stick to his lies until the moment he dies, which, lucky for him, will be very soon. I allow a small chuckle to leave my lips as I continue to look into his eyes.

“She was never yours, and she will never be yours,” I state with just as much confidence. She is mine. She belongs to me just like I am hers, and I belong to her. We complete each other in a way he will never understand, in a way a lot of people don’t understand, but I don’t fucking care.

I don’t fucking care that people think our love is wrong or that it is forbidden. At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is we want each other and we love each other. Everything else and everyone else can fuck off.

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