Page 36 of Lost in Me

I look down at the lock and see it isn’t even locked. Heis still playing fucking games. I reach out and remove the lock, undo the chains, and push open the gate.

I look down the dirt road and can’t see much now that the sun has gone down. I can hear some animals in the distance, but I don’t hear anything else. It is way too fucking quiet, which reminds me of when Emory stated in her file that Jesse soundproofed the house to make sure the only one that could hear her screams was him.

My heart sinks with the silence of the night. I take a deep breath, quickly turn around, make my way back to the car, slide in, and close the car. Ethan pushes on the gas and slowly makes his way through the open gates.

I turn and look behind us. Our men are following closely behind, ready to fight if they need to. The world finds us to be forbidden, outcast criminals, but I have never met people I would trust more with my life. They are fucking loyal. They will do anything to make sure Emory is safe. That I am safe.

They call us the forbidden, but really, maybe they are. They crave what they fear. They want what we have, and because they can’t, they hate us. They point at us. They look at us as if we are wrong, that how we live is wrong, but who really knows what is right and what is wrong?

To me, this life is right. To me, these men are my family. Emory is my family, and we have no issues with violence. We have no issues getting revenge on those who pose harm to us or our families. We are the ones who will cross the lines that others will not.

I turn back around, shake my head, and smile. I guess we are the ghosts. The ones others don’t want to see or refuse to see, but that is okay. I am okay with being a ghost, I would not change a fucking thing. I am who I am, and I can do things others will never be able to do.

I sit back in my seat and rest my head on the back, closingmy eyes. We are getting close. Very fucking close.

It is time we really find out who the fucking alpha is.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Jesse

I can hear her crying through the door. I lean against it and listen to her pain, her suffering… I told her she could either make this easy or make this hard, and so far she has chosen to still go against me. She has chosen to not submit and just fucking give in to me.

I watched her with Shawn. I watched how he treated her. Is that what she wants? She wants a fucking criminal? A fucking drug dealer. I followed him. I watched him do his deals. I watched the women look at him, wanting him.

Does she really think he will settle down for her? Men like him don’t fucking change. Men like him don’t fucking settle down with one woman. It doesn’t matter to men like him. Why the fuck can’t she see that? Has she really accepted the man that Shawn is? How the fuck can she accept a man like him, but not learn to love a man like me? Me and Shawn are so fucking different, yet we are the same in many ways. We just go about things differently, that is all.

If she can seriously want a life with a man like him, she can learn to want a life with a man like me. This is the time she will submit. Her cries continue as I listen through the door. She is strong. She is fucking strong. Too bad she doesn’t know. But I know it, and I am going to fucking break that strength. I am going to break her down so much that nothing will be left, then I will make her into the woman she was meant to be.

I know she is on the edge. I know she can’t take much more before she fucking breaks. The more I punish her, the closer she gets to giving me what I want.

I take a deep breath as I push off the door and quickly unlock the locks. I put my hand on the door knot and slowly turn it. I can hear her trying to stop herself from crying, but shecan’t. I have pushed her too far to stop, and I like her like this. I like seeing her emotions. Over the years, she got better at hiding them from me, but now she has forgotten how, and it is showing through.

I want to hear her cries. I want to see her tears. I literally want to watch her fucking shatter in front of me. Seeing her broken and bruised reminds me that she was made for me and that even though the outside world, Shawn, and all of them tried to separate us, our love is never-ending. In the end, the results will be the same. She will kneel for me, and I will once again become her fucking master, and this time my slave will not escape. She will be mine forever.

I turn the doorknob and push the door open. She is lying on the bed facing me. Her arms are wrapped around herself, my cum still covering her face and chest. She will get used to sucking dick again. I will make sure of that. But she remembered. She remembered how I like it. She fucking remembers everything I have taught her. Even if she wants to forget, she fucking can’t.

I slowly take a few steps into the room, closing the door behind me. I set the keys on the chair next to the door. There is no reason to lock it anymore. She can’t get away, and she knows it. She continues to cry as she looks up at me. She is so fucking beautiful when she cries. The pain and suffering all over her face. This is what I wanted. I needed to see her like this, like it was before—before I went to prison, before everything got fucked up and so fucking complicated.

I slowly make my way to the side of the bed. She keeps her eyes on me as the tears continue to fall down her face. The bruises are taking over her face, her skin. I haven’t even fucking started with the abuse I will inflict on her, but she gets the idea. She understands how it will be, and it is only going to get worse until she fucking gives in to me.

“Are you ready to submit?” I ask in a dark voice.

I stare down at her as she takes a deep breath and slowly sits up on the bed, causing the chains to cut deeper into her wrists and ankles. I could loosen them, but she doesn’t deserve that. She deserves to fucking feel the pain until she gives me what I want. That is all she has to do. She has to say the words and show me she loves me. It is simple and easy.

She looks up at me. There is pain and rage in her eyes as she takes a deep breath. I reach into my pocket and take out the knife. She looks down at my hand, then back up at my eyes.

She slowly shakes her head. “I can’t give you what you want, Jesse,” she whispers in a shaky voice.

I take a step forward, but she doesn’t move. She continues to stare into my eyes. They are distant, defeated. “What did you just say?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.

She takes another deep breath. “I have nothing to give you,” she states softly. What the fuck has Shawn done to make her act this way? She was fucking perfect.Perfect, before I went to prison, and now look, all my hard work has been undone.

“Why?” I whisper, hearing the shakiness in my voice. Partly, I am hurt, and partly, my rage is starting to take over. She is going to make me fucking kill her.

I watch the tears escape her eyes and roll down her face. “Because you aren’t him. Everything I have I gave to him. I have nothing to give you,” she whispers so softly I can barely hear the words. My blood boils as her words sink in.

She is going to make me fucking kill her. I don’t want this.

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