Page 31 of Lost in Me

But at least before I did, I got to meet Shawn. I got to feel what it was like to be loved the right way. He showed me how strong I am. He showed me I do have a choice and I am not powerless. He showed me what my future could be.

“What would you like me to call you? Maybe, Angel, you want to be my Fallen Angel Emory,” Jesse states in an amused voice.

He knows. How long was he inside our house? Was he there the entire time? Did he hear everything? My heart sinks with the idea of him knowing I am pregnant and engaged to Shawn. My heart sinks with the thought of him listening to me give myself to Shawn in a way I never did with him.

“Never, “I whisper, barely able to say the word.

Jesse takes one of his hands from the wall and quickly grabs my throat, cutting off my air as he searches my eyes. His breathing started to increase and became unstable. “I am a patient man, Emory. You will break. You will submit one way or another,” he states, not able to hide his anger.

Jesse has never been good at controlling himself, and over the years, he just stopped trying and gave himself permission to do whatever he wanted.

Jesse releases his grip enough so I can cough and try to take a deep breath. He leans in and connects his lips to mine, and I don’t know how I did it, but I turn my head, forcing the kiss to break. I stare at the wall as he rests his forehead against the side of my face. I feel him tighten his grip as he pulls back and forces me to turn my head.

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be, Dove,” hepleads, but this time that is not going to work. This time, I know his tricks, and I know the truth, and his promises are nothing but empty lies. He will say whatever he needs to get what he wants, and I will do everything in my power not to give him his deepest desire—me.

“No,” I state in a shaky voice.

Jesse pulls back a little, making my heart race even more. I know what is coming, what always comes when I tell him no. The punishment for my words.

“What?” he asks in an angry and confused voice.

He is not used to hearing that word come out of my mouth. Because in the end, I stopped saying it. I stopped saying it because it didn’t matter. He still did whatever he wanted.

“No!” I scream, feeling my body start to shake. He pulls back more, lowering his other hand from the wall. He releases his hand from my throat and takes a small step back, looking me up and down. His breathing is deep, more unsteady. His eyes lock with mine for a moment before he moves in and hits me in the face. The punch makes me hit the wall and slowly slide down to the floor.

He doesn’t give me time to recover before he comes up and kicks me in the stomach. A scream leaves my lips as I fall to the side, my back now against the wall as I curl up in a ball doing whatever I can to protect the child inside me. I watch him slowly kneel beside me. He grabs my face, forcing me to look at him. His eyes are filled with rage, so much rage.

“Why do you make me hurt you? I don’t want to hurt you, Angel.”

I feel my stomach turn into knots with the nickname he has now tainted. The nickname he has no right to say.

“Don’t call me that,” I state through my tears. He quickly grabs onto my arms and stands up, forcing me to do the same. He slams me against the wall once again, pinning me betweenhis body and the wall. He tightens his grip on my arms as he leans in and I feel his tongue against my lips, trying to find a way into my mouth, but I refuse. I refuse to submit. I refuse to be the person I once was in this room.

He pulls back just enough to look at me. I feel him reach between us, feeling my breasts and then slowly moving down to my stomach, then between my legs. He cups my heat as he leans in, placing his lips against my ear. “I will call you whatever the fuck I want because you, Emory Sparks, fucking belong to me,” he states in the darkest voice I have ever heard.

I feel my heart racing as he slides a finger into my entrance. I feel the tears rolling down my face as I turn my head from him. He rests his lips against my neck. I feel his tongue and teeth tasting me as his finger starts to move in and out of me. I am frozen. Frozen against him and the wall.

I close my eyes as I let the images of Shawn come into my mind. His touch, his kiss, his whispers, his promises. I know he is coming for me, I just need to hang on. I just need to remember he keeps his promises.

****

One Hour Later

Jesse unlocked the chains from the floor and came over to me, taking me into his arms. I want to fight him, but I have nothing left. The fight is leaving me fast as he walks me to the bed. He gently lays me down. He ripped the bathrobe off a while ago, and now I am naked and dirty. I watch him closely as he kneels and locks the chains to the frame of the bed. The frame is screwed into place. Even if I wanted to try and move it, I couldn’t.

Jesse takes a deep breath and slowly stands up. I look up at him, lying still on the bed.

“You have a choice. Either this can be easy, or this can be hard. It is up to you,” he says. He looks at me for a moment, then quickly turns around and heads to the door. He stops.

“You will have to kill me,” I state so softly I can barely hear myself. I watch him take a deep breath, letting me know he heard my soft words.

“I hope not, Emory, but if that is what it’s going to take so I can have you, then I am willing to do it,” he says as he opens the door and walks out of the basement. I watch him slam the door shut, and I can hear him securing the locks on the other side.

I don’t need to look down at my body to know I am already covered in bruises. He has kicked me in the stomach, the back, and my legs. My eyes are already swollen from him punching me in the face. My heat is sore from him shoving his fingers in and out of me, trying to remind me I belong to him.

I wrap my arms around my stomach as I shove my face into the pillow. I have no idea what will happen next, but I do know the baby and I won’t be able to take much more of this before we let go and give in to the cold darkness of death. I just hope I can see Shawn one more time before that moment comes.

Chapter Twenty

---