Page 24 of Lost in Me

“Say goodbye, fucker,” Shawn states.

“Emory, I will have you. I fucking swear it!” I scream as the cops force me to walk past Shawn and her. She doesn’t move from Shawn’s arms as they move me toward the front door.

My heart is pounding as they take me outside. All the people that were in the club are standing outside watching as the cops bring me to their car and put me in the back. They force me inside and slam the door. I lean my head against the window as I try to catch my breath.

This is not over. This is far from fucking over.

Chapter Fifteen

Shawn

One Month Later

Things have been on edge since the club. My men took Jesse to the airport, trying to give him an out one last time, and of course he got away and disappeared. He hasn’t left any gifts. He hasn’t tried to contact Em. He has stayed completely fucking silent, which has Em and I both on edge.

Seeing his hands on her, him slapping her, I wanted to fucking kill him right there, but again, I know I must be careful. There are some people that have been trying to get me for years, and so far, they don’t have shit on me. They know what I do but can’t fucking prove it, and if I just kill Jesse with how much noise he is making around town, I know they would pin it on me, and I will not take that fucking chance. So I have done the only thing I can: put more guards on watching the house. We have shut down the center for the time being, and Em refuses to even step outside. The mark on her face that Jesse left took about a week to heal, and every time I saw her, she looked guilty and ashamed.

In the past month, she has only given herself to me a few times, and the rest of the time, she has been distant. I have tried to give her space to process and heal from what Jesse had done, but this space is fucking killing me. All of this is fucking killing me.

I don’t want sex from her. I just fucking want her.

I slowly make my way into our bedroom. All her stuff is still in boxes. She planned on coming back and unpacking, and then Jesse happened, and since then, she hasn’t touched her stuff. She has barely spoken to me or anyone else.

I take a deep breath as I hear the shower is on. She spends most of her time in this bedroom or in the bathroom. I think, ina way, she has been trying to wash away his touch, but she hasn’t been able to. I have tried to replace his touch with mine, but I can see in her eyes that it hasn’t worked, which fucking kills me. We never should have used her as bait, and I never should have let her go to the club, but I promised I wouldn’t ever tell her what to do or try to control her.

I am trying too hard to keep my promises to her. I don’t want her to think I am anything like Jesse.

My guys have spent the last month trying to find him, and still, the trail is cold. It is like he vanished into thin air. I can hire as many fuckers as I want to protect this house, but I know deep down inside she still doesn’t feel safe. She doesn’t feel like she can breathe. She is jumpy and on guard with everyone and everything. She’s had nightmares every night since the incident at the club, and all I want to do is fucking take it away from her, but I can’t. Because honestly, I have no idea what to do except to just be here for her and show her I am not going anywhere.

She didn’t agree with us closing the center. She tried to convince me to go to work, but there was no fucking way I was going to leave her here. I don’t care how many men I have hired, I don’t trust them with her when I’m not here. I don’t fucking trust anyone but Ethan, and he has made it his mission to find Jesse.

I slowly walk into the bathroom and stop when I see Em sitting on the chair in the corner.

“Angel,” I state softly.

She slowly looks up at me, holding something in her hands. I slowly make my way over and kneel in front of her. I look down at her hands and see the pregnancy test. My heart begins to race. I look up at Em. She is staring at me. Her eyes are distant, but she is in there. I can see her.

“What does this mean?” I ask, but I already know. I already know this means things are about to change again.

“We are going to have a baby,” she whispers, allowing the tears to fall from her eyes and roll down her face.

I lift my hands and cup her face, pull her into me. My lips are almost touching hers as I keep my eyes on her. “Angel,” I whisper her nickname. That is the only thing I can say.

“Do you want this?” she asks me in a concerned voice, which makes my heart break. The fact that she needs to ask me this breaks my heart.

“I want you,” I reassure her softly.

“Do you want to be a father?” she asks, searching my eyes.

I slowly nod. “Yes.”

Before she can say anything else, I lean in and kiss her, tasting her tears. She leans into me and opens her mouth, which she hasn’t done in a while.

She doesn’t allow the kiss to deepen before she pulls back a little, taking her lips from mine. I keep her face cupped in my hands as I look down in her lap and see the positive test.

“Please take it away,” she begs me. I can hear the pain in her voice. I can see the suffering in her eyes, and it fucking tears me up inside.

I look back into her eyes, confused by her words. She is sad and distant and hurting, and I would do anything to make those things go away.

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