He looked at her and reluctantly got up and went back to his own seat. She took a deep breath and told herself it had only been live for a couple hours. There was no way he had seen it. She was not in Illinois anymore and he wouldn’t be able to find her in New York. But that anxiety she had dealt with for so long was creeping back in, that anxiety that had her scared about people lurking around the corner, questioning everyone who made eye contact with her at the grocery store, every car that just happened to turn the same way she did. She had just started to shake that feeling, but here it was crashing down on her again.
14
Conner
Conner was once again kicking himself for the interaction he'd had with Sasha. He had been a part of one of those auctions in college and had seen the way people treated him and his teammates. Some of them liked it, while some of them were very uncomfortable. He never wanted any of them to feel like that again. Just because you play a sport doesn't mean you’re consenting to be objectified. If you like it, that is totally fine and more power to you, but you should have to give your consent.
When he participated in it his junior year, it had evoked one of the biggest fights he’d ever had with his girlfriend. He hated thinking about those fights. Whenever she felt threatened, she would say things and do things to push him away, but she didn’t really want space. She just wanted to see if he would stay. It was an awful space to navigate, trying to figure out what the right answer was because whatever he said was never the right answer. When the president of her sorority had won the date with him all hell had broken loose, and he refused to participate in anything like that again.
But once again he had misunderstood Sasha. Once he was back in his seat, he had really read the email and not just flew off the handle at the word auction. It was a really smart idea. It gave the guys a way to pick charities that meant something to them and give back to the community. And it looked like the gala was shaping up to be a fun night. Even though part of him thought the cup might be out of reach this year with Wes gone, he was still going to fight like hell for it, and the gala would be a good way to get the community behind them for all of them to fight for the cup.
After the plane ride he had tried to talk to Sasha, but he could never seem to find her and if he did, there were lots of people around. On the road trip she had seemed particularly jumpy. He had found her after their game in Seattle. The team was going out that night and he asked her to tag along. He thought she would love it and get some good pictures of the team bonding, but she had turned him down. In fact, when he knocked on her hotel door the next morning, she screamed. He almost broke down the door trying to get to her until she answered the door looking sheepish saying the knock had startled her. There was something going on, but he wasn't sure what.
Now he was enjoying the rare weekend in Glendale without hockey. He was on his way to dinner with his sister, Wes and his brother. It had been a while since they had gotten together like this. He wasn't quite sure what had gone down with her old boyfriend when she left hockey, but he was glad that she seemed to be coming out of it. His whole family was a hockey family. His dad coached hockey in Mystic Falls and all the McPhee kids had played in high school and then went to Notre Dame and played there. His older brother went on to become a coach, Conner played, and his little brother had become a sports agent.
“Conner, we got a table up top,” said Dylan who was at the bar of the Westside Pub.
“See you up there,” he headed up the stairs and saw Wes, his arm still in a cast, his other arm around Conner’s sister, whispering something in her ear while she smiled down looking at the menu. He was happy for them. They deserved each other and the newfound happiness they both seemed to have. And he hated to admit it, but he was thinking more and more that it might be time to settle down, and the fact that Sasha had basically cut him off was eating at him. He dreamt about her all the time and had jerked off more times than he could count picturing her luscious curves and plump wide lips.
Kate looked up at him and smiled.
“Hey Conner!”
Wes gave him a nod as he sat down at the table across from him.
“Dylan's downstairs getting a round of beers. After we eat, I plan on kicking your ass at darts,” Kate said.
“You can try KitKat, but you know I always beat you at darts,” he said in their easy banter.
“Since when?” she shot back at him.
Dylan came up the stairs carrying five beers and set them on the table.
“Someone else coming?” asked Wes.
“Well, actually, I wanted to introduce you guys to someone.”
Kate's mouth dropped open and her eyes darted between her two brothers on the opposite side of the table.
“I’ve kind of been seeing someone for the past couple months, and I thought it might be time to introduce him to you guys.”
“For the past couple months? You've been holding out on us!” Kate said with a gleeful look behind her eyes.
Dylan was the youngest McPhee. He had come out in high school to the surprise of no one in his family, and none of them had a problem with it. But being out in the world of professional sports was tough, so he hadn't been too open about it, and he hadn’t brought anyone home since college.
“How long have you guys been dating? Is it serious?” Kate asked.
“It's been about six months, and yeah, it feels pretty serious.”
Just then Dan, one of the trainers for the Magic came and joined them.
“Wes and Conner, you know Dan. Kate, this is Dan.”
Dan sat at the table looking a bit uneasy. As far as Conner knew, no one in the organization knew he was gay. Conner didn't know, but he didn't care. He knew most of the guys on the team wouldn't either, even if any of them did, Conner would deal with it promptly. He would have done that before he knew he was dating his little brother, but he sure as fuck would now. McPhee's stuck together.
“You two are dating?” Wes asked.
Dan just nodded and looked uneasily between them. “Good luck,” Conner said. “Dylan's kind of an ass sometimes.”