Page 13 of Second Chance Baby

“You know, it’s bad enough making a mistake once. If it was a mistake. But making it twice…” I whistled and dropped my head back to lay on the headrest. “I’m a fucking moron.”

“Listen, dude, I pulled you over, so I get to spit the insults at you, not the other way around.”

I gestured to him. “So, go ahead. Time’s a-wasting. Floor is yours.”

“You are anything but a moron. So, shut the hell up.”

It was rare enough for Christian to swear that I shut the hell up. Not like I was saying anything worthwhile just now in any case.

“Why did you sleep with her?”

“What’s the usual reason?” I gave a jerky shrug. “All I’ve had for company for quite a while is my left fist.”

“Try again.”

“She’s fucking beautiful and seeing her again grabbed me by the damn throat. And we had to act out this cover and we just sold it. Too well, I suppose.”

“Keep going.”

“We had to roll around a freaking bed together and since I had absolutely no problem with having every inch of her up against me, I figured why not.”

“And…”

“And fucking what?” I exploded. “Isn’t that enough for you, Happily Married Asshole?”

He tipped his hat to me. “That’s Mr. Happily Married Asshole to you.”

I had no choice but to laugh. “Why not Officer while you’re at it?”

“Not gonna kick you while you’re down.”

Instantly, I sobered. I was down. Didn’t even realize how much yet since I hadn’t taken time to think. And I had no intention of doing that until I absolutely had to.

Maybe not until I was dragged into it, kicking and screaming.

But that didn’t mean I’d admit it, even to my older brother. “Who says?” Deliberately, I made my voice lighthearted while I smirked. “Though I did go down, if that’s what you mean.”

My all-too-serious brother didn’t take the bait. “You don’t have to lie to me, Trav.”

“Oh, I’m not lying. I did so happily?—”

“You know what I mean. You don’t have to pretend it’s all just a hot time with me. Who would understand better than I would?”

I released a long, slow breath. “Not at all, man. There’s no comparison between us. Yeah, you had a kid with a chick, but you got over her just fine. And now you have your daughter in your life, and you’re tight. The woman doesn’t even matter anymore since you have Honey?—”

“The ‘woman’ as you called her will always be my daughter’s bio mom. Which means she will always matter to Reagan, regardless of my current non-relationship with her birth mother. We had one long enough to make a baby, so that matters.”

I raked a hand through my hair and dropped my head into my hands. “God, don’t listen to me. I’m sorry, man. I didn’t mean to sound so damn callous—or bitter. But I am. I didn’t realize how much I was until today, actually. I’ve just been seething with bitterness all this time, and I had no idea at all until I was confronted dead in the face with all I lost.” I shook my head. “Forget what I lost. With what just walked away from me because I wasn’t enough to build a life with, I guess. Hell if I know.”

And that was the worst thing. Ididn’tknow. We’d tried to have conversations like rational adults a few times way back when, but once our daughter had come along, almost every conversation we’d ever tried to have seemed to end in angry silence or shouts or insults or some combination of the above.

Eventually, we’d just stopped trying at all.

But we’d kept fucking each other long afterward. Because that was the one area we’d never had an issue with.

Apparently, we still didn’t even all these years later.

How stupid was I?

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