Page 35 of Lost the Handle

Fury shines in his eyes. “I don’t want to be them! I want to be us. I mean, fuck, Em. I gave you my whole fucking heart.”

“And I don’t want to give it back. You can’t have it back. Quinn, please,” I say once more when he starts to walk away, shaking his head. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I made a mistake.”

He laughs in such a taunting way, I grind my molars. “And you didn’t want to fix it until I showed up engaged to someone else.”

I take his hands in mine, threading our fingers. “I wasn’t thinking. I was scared out of my mind because I would have given up my dreams for you?—”

“I never asked for that!” he yells, his voice bouncing off the stairwell. “I’d never ask that of you. I wanted to be your future, not the end for you.”

“I didn’t realize that at the time, but I do now, truly,” I insist, squeezing his hands. Both of us are breathing hard, our breaths filling the space between us, and all I want to do is to close in and press my lips to his. Tell him with my actions what my words aren’t accomplishing. “Let’s take a moment.”

He shakes his head, pulling his hands from mine. “You have to stop this. All of it. Ava isn’t happy. She wants you out of my place, but I didn’t want to do that to you. We have always been friends?—”

“Best friends,” I correct, and he glares.

On an exhale, he says, “You can’t do shit like that anymore.”

“I just wanted to reach you. Please, let me right my wrongs.”

He shakes his head. “Why in the hell would you think you can reach me now when I’m marrying someone else? When I’ve moved on?”

Now I’m the one shaking my head. “Quinn, I know you. You don’t fucking love her. Stop lying to yourself and to me. We both know the truth.”

He steps in close as he snaps his hand out, clutching my jaw. I go willingly, completely enthralled by the feel of his hand on me, the intensity of his gaze as he leans in. “Wanna know the fucking truth, Emery?” Before I can answer or even take in another breath, he sneers, “I don’t love you.”

He pushes me away, and he might as well have kicked me square in the gut. All the air rushes out of my lungs, and my heart sinks. I press my hands to my stomach, my eyes drowning in tears as I shake my head, trying to free myself from his words that are on replay in my head.

I don’t love you.

I don’t love you.

I don’t love you.

No, it can’t be true. “You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” he declares, and I search his face, looking for the tell. But it’s not fucking there.

A sob racks me as I shake my head. “I don’t believe you.”

He shrugs, unaffected by my tears. “Don’t. Either way, I’m marrying Ava, okay? Stop this. Life isn’t a fucking game anymore, Emery. I’m done. Now, for the sake of our friendship, stop.”

My limbs feel like lead as he turns and heads down the stairs. I close my eyes and crumple to the floor in a sobbing, broken, drunken mess.

I don’t love you.

I don’t love you.

I don’t love you.

How did I let this happen?

Chapter

Fifteen

Quinn

Three Christmases ago…

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