Page 23 of Lost the Handle

All my thoughts were around a certain pain in my ass.

I left Posey’s before Emery did, needing to get away. I couldn’t handle the looks from my sister and brother-in-law. The way Emery tried not to look at me, but every time I glanced at her, she was watching me from beneath her dark lashes. But what really did me in?

Her confession.

“I don’t know if you’ve caught on or not, so let me be clear. You are mine. I am yours. The blood that courses through my body is yours. My heart pounds for you and only you, Quinn Phillips.”

I mean, fuck me sideways. What in the hell am I supposed to do with that? I have been waiting years to hear those words, tohear her admit that she wants me, to fucking be hers completely. But of course, in true Emery fashion, she waits until I’m engaged to someone else. She frustrates the ever-loving fuck out of me.

And drives me just as wild.

I heard when she got home, listened as she moved through the apartment. I didn’t dare leave my room, though, and thankfully, she didn’t come in. When I was sure she was in her room—fuck me, I’m already thinking of it as hers—I forced myself to lie in my bed. Though, when the light in the connecting bathroom turned on, I sat up and listened as she washed her face and brushed her teeth. It’s a sickness, really, needing to listen to or see what she is doing at all times. It’s been so long since she was in my space, and as I expected, I like knowing she’s here. I don’t have to worry what is going on or think of her with anyone else. Or scroll through her social media for just a glimpse.

She’s here.

While I know that’s not a good thing, I can’t help but feel whole.

Man, this is so fucked up.

I force myself out of bed to get dressed. I’m glad we only have consults today. No way could I make it through any surgeries. I walk into the bathroom, cautious since I have a female roommate now. Once I see the coast is clear, I head to the sink and wash my face, brush my teeth, and style my hair.

The sad part is, I keep glancing at Emery’s door.

I wonder if she still sleeps in only her underwear. If she is wrapped up in the sheets, her hair wild and tangled around her. She sleeps harder than a rock, so when I used to wake before her, I would detangle her hair so it wouldn’t be so hard for her once it was time to get ready. I loved how the brown curls wrapped around my fingers. How soft and good it smelled as I twirled it. She wouldn’t even stir as I pulled her hair free from tangles.If anything, she cuddled deeper into my side, her warm, curvy body molding against mine.

I press my hips into the sink and groan loudly from how hard I’ve gotten myself from a mere memory. Not that I’m surprised. That’s what happens when I think of Emery. It’s been entirely too long since I’ve been inside her. Felt her hot cunt around me. Tasted her. I glare at myself as I brush my hair to the side. I can’t do this to myself. Especially when there is only a single door that I could easily push through to get to her.

No. I can’t give her what she wants.

No matter how much I want it too.

I swallow another moan before adjusting my hard cock and going back to my room. I grab my work bag—my dad’s old Assassins backpack—and head into the living room. I breathe a sigh of relief when I don’t see Emery. That’s the last thing I need right now, especially when my body is burning for her. She’s only been in my space for a full twenty-four hours, and I’m already salivating for her.

Okay, let me be honest. I’m always salivating when it comes to Emery Elaine Brooks.

Yeah, this is going to go great for me.

You’re engaged.

She left you.

Maybe if I keep repeating that, I’ll believe my words.

Before I can reach the kitchen, my phone rings. I pull it out of the thigh pocket of my scrubs to see it’s Benny. I miss the fucker. Even if he’s the reason I’m in this position. Though, knowing Emery, she’d sleep in my bed or even on the couch if there weren’t an extra room.

I can’t help but smile at how she does what she wants. I love that about her.

Except when she’s directing it all on me when I’m engaged.

“Hey, bro. What’s up?”

“Hey,” Benson says, his voice light. I remember when he had such a roughness to his tone. He was miserable and always waiting for that second chance with the love of his life, Cameron. Now, the two of them are living the dream. Both social media stars, while Benson also plays for the Blackhawks. I’m thankful for how it all worked out for them. How destiny made sure to put them together again. “Did you survive?”

I scoff. “Barely. She went to dinner at Posey’s house.”

“What? Posey let her in?”

“She invited her,” I say with a roll of my eyes. I throw my bag on the couch before leaning my hip into it. “Of course, we got into it. She claimed in front of everyone that I’m hers.” I fully expect him to laugh, but he doesn’t. “Benson?”

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