Page 23 of Currency in Flesh

“B-but I’m snotty and gross—” I sniffed as though to illustrate my point, and felt her lips curl in a smile.

“Darling, there is not a single thing about you I find to be unappealing. Even your snotty nose.”

I let out a nervous giggle, and her tongue flicked over my upper lip, tasting my tears and god knows what else. “I’m sorry,” I said.

She pulled back far enough to see my face clearly. “Why are you apologizing? For crying? For the very normal reaction of your mind and body to a completely new experience? For feeling the emotions you have kept trapped for so long you had forgotten what they looked like?”

“Well,” I began, wiping my face with the back of my hand. “When you put it that way, it sounds stupid.”

“I am glad you have released some of what fills that pit deep within your soul, Grace. Do not apologize in an effort to minimize my perception of you. You have done enough of that for lifetimes upon lifetimes.”

Another errant tear slipped from my eye and she brushed it away before it could roll down my cheek. I thought her eyes glowed a little brighter than usual, and when she took my hand and stood, I followed. “Now turn around,” she instructed. “Let me heal that lovely ass of yours.”

I hesitated, trying to articulate my thoughts. “Is it okay if I say no?” I asked. “I’d like… I’d like to feel the pain. To remind me.”

She dropped my hand, looking away, and I wondered if I had displeased her. But before I could say anything else, she had squared her shoulders and turned back to me. “Of course,” she said in a tone I couldn’t interpret. “As you wish.”

Lady Cora walked with me to my room, pressing a soft kiss to my forehead before opening the door with a flick of her hand. Part of me wanted to ask her to come in, to spend more time in the confusing comfort of her presence. But I also knew I needed real, restful sleep—and maybe a long cry.

A shower had appeared inexplicably in my room, and I wondered if shehadseen my dream after all. However, this room looked nothing like the impersonal luxury of the bathroom in my memories. It was as though she had designed it to be the opposite—milky white marble tile with glittering black grout, a huge rainfall showerhead that covered most of the ceiling, a thick, black rug which felt impossibly soft beneath my bare feet.

I slid the blanket from my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. There were no shower doors, only a slightly angled floor leading to a nearly invisible drain. I turned on the water, watching as steam curled all around, making the air heavy and scented like eucalyptus and pine. I don’t know how long I stood beneath the hot water, but by the time I had turned it off and located the largest towel I had ever seen, my skin was a bright flamingo pink.

Turning, I looked down at my ass. Both dimpled cheeks were mottled with red and pale purple bruising. I knew within a day or two it would turn an ugly, swampy yellow-green. There were a few spots which bore thin lines of broken skin—would they scar? I was sore, but in a way that felt oddly empowering. It was undeniable, visual evidence that I had survived. Sure, she had not intended to truly hurt me, or she would have. But regardless, even my constantly self-deprecating mind couldn’t deny I had come out of an experience that would have broken me a year ago with unexpected confidence. Had that been her goal? She seemed very familiar with ‘subspace;’ was it something she had engaged in with others?

Jealousy was a sour taste in the back of my throat, and Iswallowed it down. Lady Cora had existed for an unknowable stretch of time, it would be absolute idiocy to be jealous of those who came before me. Even that thought was stupid. I was her pet, a passing fancy, maybe a project she had taken on to provide her with some sense of gratification. I was probably nothing more than the equivalent of embroidery—a needle had no right to be envious of threads it never stitched.

I snuggled into bed still nude, enjoying the feeling of silk on my aching muscles and tender skin. I tried to sleep, letting my head sink into the soft embrace of fluffy down, but I tossed and turned, nervous at what my dreams might bring. After a few minutes, I sat up.

“Lady Cora?” I spoke into the still and quiet of my empty room. There was no response, and I ran my hands through my damp hair. Of course, she wasn’t sitting up monitoring all sounds in the Underworld in case I called.Jesus, Grace.

Lady Cora, actually.The words sounded as though someone had spoken aloud, but I knew they had only been in my head. Was I going crazy now, too?

No, blossom. I could sense your unease. Are you well?

“I just…” I was talking to the fucking air. Fuck, if this was all in my mind… I continued, “I just wanted to sleep without dreaming. I know you can show me things, can you also take them away?”

Lie down and close your eyes,she said.I will ensure your sleep holds nothing but rest.

I fell back onto the pile of pillows, pulling the comforter up under my chin. The butt cheek that pressed against the mattress was a little sore, but I was still so comfortable. “Thank you,” I whispered against the silk. If she replied, I didn’t hear.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Knock, knock, knock.

The sound was so unexpected, it took me a few moments to register what it meant. I sat up abruptly, pushing my blankets off and heading toward the noise. The door was precisely where it had been, and the knob was warm and smooth against my palm. Bleary-eyed, I greeted Lady Cora clad only in a lace robe which hung from my shoulders and barely covered my chest.

“Good afternoon,” she said, her amusement evident.

I rubbed at my eyes. “Afternoon?”

“I did not think it necessary to wake you from sleep you so clearly required. I trust you are feeling better?” Yawning, I nodded. “Well, then. I am needed in the pit, and I may be unreachable for some time. I came to see if there was anything you might want to do today.”

Another yawn forced its way through me and I covered my mouth, hoping that morning breath didn’t exist in the Underworld. “I—” I wasn’t sure what she was asking. This was new, an interest in how I spent my time? “I hadn’t thought about ityet.”

Lady Cora’s eyes flicked away from mine briefly and she smoothed an imaginary wrinkle in her dress. The same small black snake emerged from behind her neck and twined its way down her arm. I felt a measure of pride that I didn’t even flinch. “Very well,” she replied, voice suddenly cool and detached. “I trust you will behave?”

I reached for her without thinking, the urge to make sure she wasn’t displeased with me taking over. She stilled, fingers like polished marble against the warmth of my touch. The snake’s tongue flicking the air was the only sign that time itself had not frozen. “Did you want company?”

---