Page 59 of The (Maybe) Murderer Who Knocked Me Up

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SEQUIN

I’m very proud of myself. I didn’t pester Slade with a good morning text. I didn’t call him to see how he was feeling either. I’m being patient, like Aunt Emerald suggested. I’ll let him come to me in his own time.

Do I get myself off with the dildo I bought because it reminded me of him? Maybe. Do I think about our tryst in the motel the whole time I do it? Yes. Am I tempted to send an indecent photo of myself to him during the process? Perhaps.

Being patient is very unpleasant. I would rather throw myself at him and see what happens. Sex can be very convincing for people. Especially people who have been celibate for six years.

I sing along to Coin’s latest EP while I add ingredients to the dough mixers. Chime is off feeding the animals with Aunt Emerald, so I can listen to the songs with swearing, too. Those are always Coin’s best. He’s fabulous while angry, and his last boyfriend pissed him off in a way that was apparently very inspiring. I’m dancing around in my hairnet and apron, singing at the top of my lungs, when I hear someone clear their throat behind me.

That someone was definitely male. I spin around, briefly wondering if Link decided to come here first after his practice was over. He does that sometimes. Chime is his favorite family member. The rest of us might as well be chopped liver.

Slade is standing in the entrance to my bakery, his arms full of chips and candy. He lowers all the snacks onto the metal counter.

“I’m sorry about last night. I shouldn’t have left like that,” he says.

I guess Aunt Emerald was right. I just had to be patient. I look around at all the Doritos and chocolate. “Is this some kind of peace offering or something?”

He takes a deep breath, then walks around the counter. “I love you, Quin.” He gets down on one knee. “I don’t have much to offer you. That food is pretty much my only physical possession, but I’ll give you everything I have.” He pulls out a wad of papers from his back pocket. They’re the same size as dollar bills, but they’re white with haphazard edges. He holds out the first one to me. “Since I don’t have a lot of physical stuff, I also brought a few other things. Here’s an ‘I owe you’ for some kind of house repair. Or car repair. I can fix most things with YouTube and enough time.”

Is that what all those papers are? I owe you’s? If he was anyone else, I’d be annoyed, but Slade just got out of prison. He truly has nothing. And yet, he’s down on one knee, offering me what little he has.

I take the paper from him. “I’ve always liked men who are good with their hands.”

He smiles up at me. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, good. Because my next gift is related to that. Here’s an ‘I owe you’ for an oil change.”

I take that one from him too. “Thank you.”

“And an ‘I owe you’ for a filter change. This one can be used for your furnace or your car. Or both.”

I grab that one and spread out my coupons like a hand of cards. His smile gets a little wider, which makes my heart race. I love his smile.

“Here’s a coupon for babysitting. Which you may not want me to do yet. Or maybe you don’t want me to call it babysitting because Chime is my kid, but I figured you might need help with her sometimes, and I can do that while I’m looking for a job.”

I snatch that one away from him as quickly as possible. “Yes to all of that. I would love your help with Chime.”

What utter relief it is to know that I don’t have to raise her alone anymore.

“This coupon is for a year of laundry. Washing, drying, and folding. I’ll even put the clothes away, if you’re okay with that.”

“Ooo!” I take that one, too.

He holds up the next one. “Dishes. Also for a year.”

I eye him skeptically. “You are going to regret this. I’m a baker, remember?”

He thrusts the coupon at me. “Take it, Quin. This is all I have to give, and I want to give you something. Please.”

“Then what should I give you?” I ask.

“Another chance? A daughter? A family? Or whatever you feel comfortable with. I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have lied to you last night. My brother was telling the truth when he came to visit you. I just wasn’t ready… I’m not used to trusting people, Quin. But I do trust you. I really do. And I want to be with you. I want to make whatever we have between us work. Even if we can’t bond, I still want you, and I still want Chime.” He stands up and holds out the next coupon to me. “Here is child support when I get a job, and here is a coupon for endless blowjobs. Here is a coupon for?—”

I grab the collar of his shirt and pull him down for a kiss. I only remember I’m wearing a hair net when I hear it crinkle against his forehead.

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