Page 6 of Wicked

I break away from the kiss. “H is waiting. We should go.”

“Hold on,” Candlewick says. “I want to be with you. Even if we only get to have a year together, that’s better than nothing.”

Could I really give Candlewick my heart, knowing I’d lose him in less than a year? I think that would tear me apart. I don’t want a fling with Candlewick, I want a bond with him. Those are very different things.

“I can’t. It wouldn’t be right.”

Pain flickers in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I’m religious, Candlewick. I follow the red wolf god.”

“What does that have to do with us?” he asks.

I drag a hand through my hair. “We believe in staying true to the same partner for life. In a bond. Lying together outside of the sacred rituals of a bond is a sin.”

“Are you saying you won’t have a relationship with your fated mate because it’s against your religion?” There’s an edge to his voice that makes me want to take it all back and kiss him again. I don’t want to hurt him.

But I can’t love him and leave him. I’m not built that way.

“If I could bond to you, we’d be fine. Even if I could have a lifetime commitment with you, that would be enough because it would be as close to a bond as I could get. I think God would understand that. But being with you for a year is not close to a bond. It’s something different altogether, and it wouldn’t be right.”

Candlewick’s eyes become glassy. “So you’re just going to throw this away?”

“I’m muzzled, Candlewick. I’m sorry. I can’t be your alpha.”

Guilt twists in my stomach as a tear slides down Candlewick’s cheek. I did that. I’m responsible for his pain.

That isn’t right either. Nothing about this is right, no matter what I do.

I walk over to Anne and climb onto her shoulders. “We need to go.”

“Fine.” Candlewick folds his arms across his chest, his pain clearly shifting into anger. He looks so beautiful standing there in his white suit, his cheeks flushed with emotion. In that moment, I know without a doubt that the few minutes I got to spend with him will haunt me for the rest of my life.

“Wait until we take off, and Anne will carry you in her claws. It will be easier if we can maintain some physical distance from each other.”

Candlewick looks me directly in the eye as he marches up to me and climbs on Anne’s shoulders, sitting his backside down directly in front of me. The warmth of his back is like heaven, and I have to close my eyes to hide how badly I want to give in and kiss his beautiful neck.

“Let’s get one thing straight,” he says. “I have no intention of making it ‘easier’ for you to reject me. In fact, if that’s your intention, I plan to make it very, veryhardfor you. I’m your fated mate.” He pushes his backside into me and shifts it from side to side.

God, I want him. My body does indeed become hard. How could it not?

Candlewick doesn’t understand how easily he could lure me into bed if he really wanted to. I’m no blushing virgin. When I was in the breeding pits, I gave into my sexual urges over and over again. During the last twelve years, Timber has tried to comfort me about the sins I committed there. He said the drugs they gave us left us no choice. But if I had wanted to resist badly enough, I think I could have. I just didn’t see the point back then. I thought God had forsaken me.

“Please don’t,” I beg Candlewick.

He sighs and scoots farther up, no longer grinding himself into me. “Fine. I won’t force you to touch me. But I’m not giving up on us. Not yet.”

Is it wrong that I feel comforted by that? I probably shouldn’t.

There are so many things I shouldn’t do and feelings I shouldn’t have in this situation. I’m not sure I have enough self-control to do the right thing.

3

Candlewick

Anne stretches her wings, and suddenly we’re lurching into the sky. The momentum sends me crashing back into Manny. I yelp and grab for his thighs in a desperate attempt to not plummet to my death.

He slides his arm around my waist. “Shhhh. It’s okay.”

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